Breakup (Is it my fault)

[Kensyyy]

We were pretty close in my opinion, I met her family and was invited her family's wedding. It initiated that she cannot vent towards me and every time I tried to talk, she said "it needs to be in the moment". And I screwed up saying I know, but I really didn't mean I know, but I understand. She said she can vent towards other people, not me. One night she goes to her ex-bfs house to get ****ed up in alcohol and weed. I was worried, because she would not text back after hours and it was 3 am. She used to be able to talk to me, now she obviously doesn't

 

I knew she was not the type to use her phone and a friend said that is disrespectful, therefore I texted her that it is disrespectful. She said she wanted to break up, after saying that and adding it to the cake and I wanted to work things out. I do trust her, but not in sense in drinking.

Overall, she felt like she cannot vent towards me and later said we were not meant to be.

 

After the breakup, 2 weeks prior ignoring her, she msged me saying that she was babysitting the dogs. I said I hope everything works out for you. She said still getting over how it didn't work for us and said we weren't meant for each other. Afterwards I said why are you still talking to me? She later got mad and said she wanted to talk to me because I make it easier when things are hard. (She wants to be friends and I told her I need time)

'

A week later, I told her i'm over it on snapchat, when she said that she is scared, because I might be mean to her now, because of saying "why are you still talking to me". Its been couple of weeks and she started ignoring my snaps and stopped texting me. Therefore I started to move on and go no contact. I feel like she used me or was it my fault and currently she might of found someone else within a week. (In no contact right now, social media, text, etc).

 

 

I am in the brink of moving on, even though I still think about it. I might of messed up the no contact rule, right after the break up, because I texted her first, if she still wanted to go back home, during thanksgiving.

(She has not blocked me in any social media and initiated contact at first sometimes). I'm just shocked how she said all these things about the future and saying the L word and left me a week later. She basically slept over everyday and I met her family and friends.

How can someone find someone quick, if she did?

 

(Last official meeting in person was the last day of October) (texting occurred after couple weeks and it stopped recently, because I see no point anymore). Its been 16 days of no text but messed up through snapchat when I sent it to her specifically (6days ago).

 

 

Would she text someday or want me back? If she has a new date, I think about how it would affect her family and what they would think about me, because the invitation to the wedding next month. She might of take her new S/O whom she met. I still do have feelings for her.

Edited November 29, 2018 by Kensyyy

[d0nnivain]

Where in there was anything your fault?

 

She said she can't talk to you.

 

She refused to listen to you when you tried to vent to her.

 

She gets drunk & high with her EX

BF

& refuses to text you back during that encounter even though she was out until 3 a.

m

.

 

I don't know what you mean when you said it's disrespectful of her not to use her phone but to the extent you feel disrespected how is that your fault?

 

You didn't "mess up" NC. It's not a magic formula. It's a technique to help you heal & to preserve your dignity. Sometimes you need to communicate with the other person to put the final nails in the coffin of your relationship.

 

If she has already found somebody else after about 2 weeks you can conclude she is either very shallow or rebounding. Either way, she is not your problem Focus on your healing, whatever that looks like but do disconnect from her on social media.

[Kensyyy]

Where in there was anything your fault?

 

She said she can't talk to you.

 

She refused to listen to you when you tried to vent to her.

 

She gets drunk & high with her EX

BF

& refuses to text you back during that encounter even though she was out until 3 a.

m

.

 

 

 

I don't know what you mean when you said it's disrespectful of her not to use her phone but to the extent you feel disrespected how is that your fault?

 

You didn't "mess up" NC. It's not a magic formula. It's a technique to help you heal & to preserve your dignity. Sometimes you need to communicate with the other person to put the final nails in the coffin of your relationship.

 

If she has already found somebody else after about 2 weeks you can conclude she is either very shallow or rebounding. Either way, she is not your problem Focus on your healing, whatever that looks like but do disconnect from her on social media.

 

I mean she felt that she can't vent to me, although I tried to listen. I mean I wasn't the one venting. She felt like I was the one not listening.

[ExpatInItaly]

I mean she felt that she can't vent to me, although I tried to listen. I mean I wasn't the one venting. She felt like I was the one not listening.

 

OP, you need to learn to recognize excuses when you hear them.

 

Sure, she might have felt you weren't the easiest to talk to, but I would bet any money the real reason she's broken it off is because she wants to get back together with her ex. She had zero business getting drunk and high with her ex anyway, but that should have been your clue that it was over between you and her.

 

Stay away from her now. She sounds quite immature, and I hope she's still a teen. She's sure acting like it.

[d0nnivain]

I mean she felt that she can't vent to me, although I tried to listen. I mean I wasn't the one venting. She felt like I was the one not listening.

 

If you agree that you are poor listener, work on that about yourself but don't take all the blame for this break up. She wanted out most like to get back with the EX or to find a man who would not put her with her on-going dalliances with the EX