Jump to content

GF broke up with me shortly after beginning Anxiety Meds


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)

Hi All,

 

Thank you for taking a look at this post. I am writing this as a way of therapy to feel better about my situation as well as to get some opinions on the matter.

 

I (30M) began dating my now ex GF (24F) a little over a year ago. She had been out of a 5 year relationship for about 3 months when we met and I had been single for about a year. The relationship was great, no issues or fights and we had so much in common. This was the 4th serious relationship in my life and I believed I had found the girl that I wanted to marry.

 

Fast forward to the beginning of September when the new school year started (she is an elementary school teacher). Her new class for the year had several VERY misbehaved students that were obnoxious, violent towards others, etc. Dealing with these kids day in and day out began to take a toll on her mental health so she began to see a therapist. I was very glad that she went because she was so sad and it hurt to see her not like her job. As the weeks went by, her anxiety began to get worse and she began throwing up every morning before school as well as cry because she did not want to go. She ended up going to an urgent care facility one day and they prescribed her Wellbutrin. I am not familiar with anti-anxiety drugs but from what I have read online I found that this drug can cause some bad side effects.

 

During the month of October, her anxiety was not improving and more and more time on our dates were spent talking about her job. When she spent the night over at my house, she would wake up in the morning crying and feeling sick to her stomach (even on a Sunday when she did not have to work). I began to feel she was detaching from me but i tried to remain supportive. Her anxiety got to a point where she had to move back home with her parents because she could not be at her new place with her roommate.

 

My birthday was at the beginning of November and we had a trip planned with my family to San Francisco for the following day (this would be a trip with air travel and staying over two nights in the city). My birthday week was great, she gave me tickets to a sporting event in our city and we had a nice dinner with my family. Everything seemed great and we were so excited to go to California the next day.

 

I woke up the next morning to a text on my phone saying that she had been throwing up all night and would not be going on the trip with my family. I was devasted. I called and spoke with her on the phone and she said that she could not have this relationship with me while she feels like this. She said that I was everything she was looking for but the timing was bad. I went on the trip with my family and tried to have fun, but was miserable the entire time. While I was there, she texted me that she wanted to talk in person when I got back.

 

When I arrived home on Sunday, she came to my house bringing my clothes and my garage door opener. My heart was broken. She said that her anxiety was really bad and she needed to focus on getting better and taking care of her health. She then proceeded to list several things that she was having trouble with in the relationship:

 

1) she said she felt like we were in a routine (this was the first time she had ever mentioned this)

2) she said that I should have stayed home from San Francisco to see how she was doing

3) she said that I only wanted to have kids because she wanted to have them (This one confuses me so much)

4) she wanted to live with me and was upset that i didn't ask her to move in, instead of moving back in with her parents (She never told me in person that she was ready to move in)

 

She then left my house and deleted all of our pictures on facebook and instagram and changed relationship status, right after she got home.

 

I have not heard from her since except for a text I sent to her last week asking if her anxiety was better and she responded like 2 minutes later saying it was really nice of me to reach out and that she was feeling better.

 

I am so sad right now. Part of me thinks that her starting medication pushed our relationship this way but part of me is not sure. Has anyone experienced a situation like this where you were blindsided? I feel like the problems she listed with our relationship could have been talked through quite easily but instead the relationship was ended before I could even talk. I feel like this relationship could work but I'm so hurt she ended it so abruptly. I really want to reach out and try to fix this but I'm not sure what to do.

 

 

Thanks again for reading

Edited by ducks
Posted (edited)

I can sorta relate to this experience. I was in a relationship with a special education teacher for 3 years, she was overwhelmed by stress and deadlines constantly with these kids. When she came home she'd be doing lesson plans, or emailing parents. They'd misbehave in the classroom also. I'm sure you know every Sunday is when teacher freaks out and it becomes a " sky is falling" ordeal. I eventually, talked my ex out of doing Special Education and things got better. But it really does do a number on them, to the point where she'd cry and I'd have to close her laptop for her. She was always a people pleaser and always put herself above her needs.

 

My suggestion is to let her have space, she'll eventually level off. But don't chase or pursue her unless you feel like she needs immediate help. If you continue checking up and asking how she is, she'll become annoyed and you might lose her for good. I don't understand why she deleted everything from facebook,etc. To me, that is a bit odd.

 

It's a bit early to start making assumptions here. Their stress is a more an accumulative ordeal to where they have a break down like that. At the time I was working as a Paramedic, so I'd have my own share of stress and ****ed up **** happened. A teacher is really an unsung hero and ton of stress because it's so demanding. For me I'd spend 20-40 mins with a patient 1 on 1 then transfer them over at the ER/hospital. But when my shift ended I left it at my job.

 

The bad news, she could be using her anxiety as justification to end the relationship. She is really a wreck it seems right now, maybe she just wants time to herself so you should do that. It's going to be hard. There's nothing you can really do. Hopefully, she'll give you a better explanation, but she might not. So be prepared for that.

Edited by BMWN52
Posted

Her medication has nothing to do with this.

 

Her reasons for breaking up with you all boil down to You can't read her mind & she's punishing you for this. Presumably other then staying home after you spent all sorts of money to see your family for your birthday had she opened her mouth & said something you would have worked to accommodate her. Instead she remained mum then got mad at you when you failed to do things you had no idea she wanted you to do. She's supposed to be teaching our youth, yet her communications skills are non-existent.

 

I think you should be more pissed at her for wasting the money you spent on her plane ticket. Suck it up butter cup. I once flew cross country with the flu because my BF needed me to. I puked the entire time but he was happy I was there at all. She was wrong for staying home & you are a sweetheart for understanding that sick people don't like to travel.

 

From where I sit, you dodged a bullet. Yes, it sucks because you were so in love but after what she said to you, it seems like she hid herself from you & you didn't really know her at all.

Posted

The woman is almost having a nervous breakdown, she has so many plates in the air spinning away, she cannot cope any longer.

She has gone home to the safety and shelter of her parents to sort her head out.

 

You may be very sad, but honestly you do not need a woman like this in your life.

Be grateful she ended it, go find a more stable individual to share your life with.

×
×
  • Create New...