IAmMine86 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Hi everyone. This is my first post. I've turned to the internet before I lose my mind altogether with where to go from here. My ex partner and I broke up 5 weeks ago. We had been together for 3.5 years. Over that time we had a very fractious relationship. I felt like she never considered me and was very selfish; money seemed no object to her and I felt like I was always bottom of the pile in her list of priorities. On the flip side, when it was just the 2 of us we had an amazing time, some of the happiest in my life, and I felt like we did a real emotional connection. I loved her. I still do. 18 months ago, following a very stressful time at work and in my personal life I foolishly cheated on her with my ex girlfriend - who is also the mother of my 2 daughters. When I say cheated, I mean we exchanged flirty texts for a few weeks (August 2017), but cheating is cheating and I understand that. I feel terrible and guilty for it. In January this year my girlfriend and I decided to move in together, so to be spiteful my ex (mother of my kids) decided to text my girlfriend and tell her we'd been "seeing" each other. We argued a lot, I apologised, but ultimately she decided to continue moving into the house with me. I gave everything up and threw myself into our relationship head first - bought all new furniture and paid for tons of work to the house to create it into a home. We only lived there for 6 weeks when my girlfriend decided one afternoon to leave. She said she didn't want to be around my children because they reminded her of my ex and what I'd done. She pulled the rug out from under me and walked away, leaving me in a mountain of debt, no roof over my head and really hurting my kids. A month later she got in touch and we decided to try again. I loved her so much I was willing to do anything for her so again I put to one side how much I was hurting over her walking out of our house and focused on fixing us. At this point she was living somewhere else and I had had to move back to my parents because I couldn't afford the house we'd moved into on my own. Over the Summer, when we were "trying again", she told people we weren't back together. Her friends were trying to set her up with different guys, which she went along with, sleeping over at their houses, she told me she didn't want to be around my children, she refused to come on holiday with me, she didn't see me for an entire month and she continually refused to pay any of the outstanding bills she'd racked up in the house we'd lived in so I had to pay it all off. 5 weeks ago, following a ridiculous fight whereby she'd demanded I didn't see my kids that weekend so I could spend it with her, she broke up with me. Only a few days before that she was telling me I was her soul mate and the love of her life but now I don't know this person at all. She's gone really nasty. We have barely spoken in a month and yesterday I reached out to her. I said I missed her and the good times and that I'd tried so hard this year to show her how much I much love her and she replied saying "God it didn't even take you more than a few messages. Back to being delusional and convincing yourself you were an amazing, support and affectionate partner. Couldn't be further from the truth. And right back to trying to manipulate me into an argument by trying to make out this is because you think I've met someone else. I don't want you back because you broke my heart and I deserve better than that. Goodbye". I have to take it at face value but I don't understand. It's been 18 months since my stupid mistake and in that time we have gone on holiday, talked about getting engaged, talked about having babies, moved in together, broken up, got back together, and NOW she's pulling the plug and telling me it's because of that like it only happened yesterday. I feel like the last 18 months have no existed. My brain is telling me too much has happened and I need to walk away but my heart is telling me I still love this woman more than anything and I'd fight to the bitter end for her. What would you do?
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Listen to your brain. The financial hardships alone caused by this woman merit never giving her another chance.
HumanMachine Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Typical sociopathic behaviour. They’ll make you feel happier than ever then borderline suicidal within a couple of minutes. They know exactly how to get what they want - and they usually do. It was all fake, an act, please priorities your kids and your own wellbeing, get this woman out of your life ASAP
Simple Logic Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I would go to the front door, lie down, and imagine what it is like to be a door mat. Then compare that to your current relationship.
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