Travel87 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 (edited) Me and my partner have returned from a fantastic holiday. Everything was going great until the final day. We where talking sexy outfits and she says 'ive actually got 3 outfits i bought at the start of this year'. Now i instantly felt a bit strange about this. Weve been together since September, she told me she'd not had sex for a year before meeting me and almost gave up hope. Her ex bf was 5 years ago. So to me that doesnt add up. She went out to spend her hard earned money on 3 sexy ann summers lingerie outfits & suspenders yet had no partner or past bf for some years. My entire mindset just changed as since weve been together shes never wore these for me. So i eventually asked calmly 'yeah we can try those depending on whether youve used them before or not as id like some for just us' she replied 'ive only ever wore the black one for someone'. So i said 'i thought youd not had sex for a year?'she said 'yeah it was right at the start of the year a 1 time thing. Now my stomach just kind of shut down, im torn about whether i was over reacting or not. She said a year, then its start of year which (as we met in sept), is 6 months tops. Why say a year. Also, why buy outfits for a 1 time thing yet never wear them with me and weve been together months. Anyway... i sat there a little queit then she laughed and said 'i actually tried the red one on last week' i asked why and she replies 'just to feel sexy, i put it on with a little skirt and just wanted to feel sexy, you'd be suprised how many woman dress up at home just to feel sexy for a bit' Again that got me a little, am i again being stupid or do woman really do this? She didnt send me a photo or mention she'd done thjs last week so why dig out a sexy outfit, put it on, dance around your room then take it off and go watch tv. Is this a huge red flag or am i being a total idiot over thinking this?? For the record shes never sent me a dirty or rude photo so im not sure whats going on here. Edited November 28, 2018 by Travel87
basil67 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Yes, women wear beautiful/sexy underwear to feel sexy/beautiful. It's not about whether or not it's being seen. You'd be surprised if you knew what some of your workmates are wearing underneath. 3
Logo Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I like how you kept digging deeper. It’s not a bad thing at all. It’s when you overlook what seem like innocuous details that you get hoodwinked. 1
PegNosePete Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 She said a year, then its start of year which (as we met in sept), is 6 months tops. Why say a year. Maybe simple exaggeration, maybe she was just rounding up, maybe she genuinely didn't count it. Technically you could say she lied but it's a very small white one, I would just let it go. There was still plenty of time between that and you, after all, no overlap which is what matters right? why buy outfits for a 1 time thing Who says she bought them FOR that? Maybe she just bought them because she liked them, and happened to wear it that day. am i being a total idiot over thinking this?? Yes definitely over thinking it, and turning a wonderful opportunity into a problem! I guess her Christmas present is sorted, though 1
Author Travel87 Posted November 28, 2018 Author Posted November 28, 2018 She offered to throw them and i mentioned how id gladly use the 2 that wasnt used with someone else. So maybe i should relax about this and just let it go. I honestly didnt know woman danced about in sexy underwear at home. Suppose its a nice image cheers folks I'll stay positive and at least i know now shes open to that.
ElKay Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Yeah, I personally love wearing sexy undergarments most of the time, even if no one will see them at work. Mine are also super comfortable, so why wouldn't I? It's totally a thing. Same for trying on lingerie at home.
MaleIntuition Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You are comming off as a controlling. She isn’t using underwear for anyone but herself. I believe most single girls will have some sexy underwear in their wardrobe, why would they not? Kind of rude of you to star questioning her about her wardrobe at this point. 3
elaine567 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I wasn't aware we had to wear regulation unsexy underwear, unless there is a special man on the scene... 8
fromheart Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 (edited) She's a human being not an object. You are seeking to own her, not respect her as a person. What she purchased and why she purchased it, is none of your business. Maybe she bought it for a ONS. Good for her, go for it sister. 'yeah we can try those depending on whether youve used them before or not as id like some for just us' Does this apply to her body also, or just the clothes she was 'allowed,' to buy before she met you? Its going to feel that way eventually and she'll shut down on you. You need to sort out your jealousy and insecurity, she's being intimate with you and your unconciously berating her for it. Edited November 28, 2018 by fromheart 2
Kelliousme Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 LOL, didn't think men would question this to this extent.. but yes.. I'm sure MOST women would buy sexy lingerie or bikinis just to try them on at home for fun. I've never worn a bikini outdoors in my life (I hate water and I can't swim). But I still have a few bikinis for the heck of it. Either to try it on and see how I look in it, or put it on just feel sexy for myself. You've been overthinking this entire thing.. lol
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Why do you know that brand? Is that significant? Would you feel better about it if the lingerie was from La Perla or Walmart? 2
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You are being bad going under that assumption. Didn't you know women like to buy things FOR THEMSELVES, because it makes them feel good. We see something we really like, even tho we may not need it...we buy it. So stop being so paranoid. 2
losangelena Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Also, why can’t you fathom her wearing an outfit in front of you that she’s worn already? Do you know how expensive some lingerie is? Who cares if another man has seen it, he’s not in the room with you! You need to chill. You’ve been dating this woman since September, that’s not exactly a long time. 1
losangelena Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You are being bad going under that assumption. Didn't you know women like to buy things FOR THEMSELVES, because it makes them feel good. We see something we really like, even tho we may not need it...we buy it. So stop being so paranoid. Gee, it’s almost as if women exist for more than to just please men. Incredible. 2
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 If she did use these outfits for some fling...it's none of your business anyways. You can't govern a person's past. 1
kendahke Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Dude--yes---women will go out and buy whatever they want for whatever reason they want and it has nothing to do with their sex life. I've got some gorgeous pieces that I bought some time ago that I haven't worn for anyone. She is entitled to have had a life--and a sexual one at that--before you popped up. Your post makes as much sense as some chick being pissed off that her new boyfriend bought some high end ski equipment before they met but he hasn't yet made it to the slopes to use it. 2
Rockdad Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 OP as said before females buy things just because it makes them feel good or pretty. My wife does that and it's has nothing to do with me as it is something she does nice for herself. I get your new in your relationship and might be wondering about many things and I would encourage you to relax on this. Let your GF be who she is and enjoy her life without you scrutinizing her every move. 1
Highndry Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Gee, it’s almost as if women exist for more than to just please men. Incredible. They do?! 1
ChatroomHero Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I'd say you are probably overreacting, but I have a feeling that there are other little things you find that don't add up and maybe that is why this put your stomach in a knot? Am I wrong or are there other things bothering you? If not, you are overreacting. If I am right, you are probably right to question it a bit. 1
Els Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You'd be surprised what some women AND men wear just for themselves... She offered to throw them and i mentioned how id gladly use the 2 that wasnt used with someone else. Are you kidding me??? Do you throw away all of the clothes you used to wear with an ex, too??? IMO you have some pretty bad insecurity going on there, better address that. 3
Gretchen12 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I wasn't aware we had to wear regulation unsexy underwear, unless there is a special man on the scene... And according to the OP if you put on sexy lingerie, you must dance. 1
Larry56 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 The whole idea that women wear sexy outfits for 'themselves' I believe is the biggest bluff they have managed to convince men of. They DO wear clothes to get ATTENTION. They DO dress SEXY so guys will LOOK at them. Internally they may feel it's for themselves but get a bunch of women together and get them into an honest conversation (away their matriarchal overlords) and they'll tell the truth about it. She might have had a fling with a guy. He just managed to get their before you. That's not her fault and that's not your fault. You're just gonna have to accept that someone beat you to it.
preraph Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You are comming off as a controlling. She isn’t using underwear for anyone but herself. I believe most single girls will have some sexy underwear in their wardrobe, why would they not? Kind of rude of you to star questioning her about her wardrobe at this point. ^ This. OP, who do you think you are, the Underwear Police? Some women wear nothing but sexy underwear all the time. Even ones who don't wear what you'd think is sexy probably think theirs is sexy. Also, what she did before she met you is her business, not yours. Your insecurity is flashing in neon lights. That's unattractive.
ElKay Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Larry, I wear them under my clothes even when I don't show anyone most of times... Does that mean I'm hooking up pretty much every day? Man, am I missing some good times!
Lotsgoingon Posted November 29, 2018 Posted November 29, 2018 Dude, a woman mentions that she has lingerie ... presumably that she wants to wear for you ... In that scenario, the typical male brain cancels out any questions about woman's past. But you hear "lingerie," and your mind actually wants a purchase history and receipts along with a cross-listing of her previous dating partners. Dang, dude, you got a little Dr. Spock going on. You would make a great detective. They ought to bring you in on cases where everyone else gets emotional and wants a quick arrest ... Your analytical brain stays online when most male brains cut off analysis at the sound of the word "lingerie."
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