keepa_secret Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I been seeing E. for a while now its all casual , but I'm starting to also really like his brother . Me and him ended up matched on a dating app , but I haven't messaged him yet. A part of me is just thinking it's not a big deal cause it's not like me and E are serious, but the smart part of me is saying don't do it , might create family rifts. I'm just stuck in a hard place, I wanna do what's right but at the same time I never felt so strongly about someone and I don't wanna wonder what if / what could've possibly been. I just need some straight up honest advice .
Ronni_W Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 How I would do it is to be honest with E - even though it's casual - and I'd ask him how he feels about me pursuing a possible relationship with his brother. If he wouldn't be cool with it, then I'd not pursue it...that would just leave things open for too many future problems, for each of the three people involved.
Aveenolover Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 I'm literally in the same predicament. I was casually seeing a guy--also E lol, and while I wanted something more, he didnt. I broke things off with him because I'm not really down with casual flings and about a month later his brother--J, started talking to me on fb. We have so much in common and he ended up coming over and things went awesomely. We pursued each other behind Es back until we decided things could possibly go somewhere and he finally told E last week that we were talking. He didn't take it well and they're now not really getting along :-/ but I think its just a small tiff between them and E will get over it. But anyway. I don't think you need to ask E for his permission. If you are single then you're free to do what you want! I'd just make sure you know things can work out and you're really serious about the dude before you say anything to E (or let the brother tell him )
d0nnivain Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Stay far away from the family members of anybody you dated. If the brother is so callous toward E as to even think about being with you, what does that say about his ability to have empathy, compassion or loyalty? Do you really want to spend future holidays with your EX? Just no. The brother is strictly off limits. 1
smackie9 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 Maybe his brother won't have anything to do with you.....
kendahke Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 (edited) I been seeing E. for a while now its all casual , but I'm starting to also really like his brother . Me and him ended up matched on a dating app , but I haven't messaged him yet. A part of me is just thinking it's not a big deal cause it's not like me and E are serious, but the smart part of me is saying don't do it , might create family rifts. I'm just stuck in a hard place, I wanna do what's right but at the same time I never felt so strongly about someone and I don't wanna wonder what if / what could've possibly been. I just need some straight up honest advice . Depending upon the family, it is a big deal. They will most likely circle the wagons to keep you out. Why would you want to be with someone who has no compunction about becoming sexually involved with his brother's girl behind his back? What would you want us to tell the guy who's dating you but actually likes your sister better behind your back? Edited November 28, 2018 by kendahke
Gaeta Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You have only 1 life to live. I know people that have dated the brother or sister of their spouse before marrying. It happens in every little town everywhere in the world.
Gretchen12 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You have feelings for another because you are not really feeling it for E. So what are you doing seeing E? Be clear with yourself and with him. You just don't want to be alone? Or is it casual becaue he is also not feeling it? You two just want companionship? You want a relationship with someone but not him, or you don't want a relationship with anyone? Is it to satisfy sexual needs or to have an escort to events? I guess you need to know why and for how long you intend to see him casually. In this case it's his brother you liked but it could have been any other guy. If you want something serious with someone some day, you won't find him if you're always in a casual arrangement and you're never single.
Malin889 Posted November 28, 2018 Posted November 28, 2018 You’re saying you matched with his brother, but you haven’t messaged him yet, but you feel strongly for him? Or did you meet the brother through E already? I’m confused. How do you even know if the brother likes you? Either way, it’s shady. Do You really want someone who would hook up with someone his brother was with? Would you be OK with your sister hooking up with someone you were with?
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