Jaimsie Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 (edited) I am wondering what readers think about the following situation. I'll just give the background first.I have been dating a 34 year old woman for 9 months now. Met her on Tinder. I'm 38. Extremely unstable relationship so far. Two break ups. I cheated once resulting in one of the break ups. Understandably she now says she doesn't trust me at all and the relationship is right back at square one.. Second time we just were not getting along. I have a bad drink problem but recently began to go to AA for the first time though I still drink. I have been missing work and in the past four weeks I worked anywhere between one and four days a week so I have been missing a lot of work. I experience mental health issues/depression and sadly i ended up going to the cliffs to jump last week but i bottled it. Thank God. I have seen a doctor. My girlfriend mad me go to see her doctor and I am nowbeing referred to a psychiatrist. I have previously had suicidal thoughts and been through counselling at a suicide crisis charity. Also, I lived with my parents all my life and have no savings at all and do not own a home. Now my girlfriend who I only met 9 months ago knows all of this. She really really wants to conceive a baby right now this week What do people think? Given all of the above am I in a position to conceive a baby? Or is anyone ever in a position to conceive a baby with someone they met on Tinder just 9 months earlier? I have my own gut feeling on this question. What do you all think? Given all the above does her desire to have a baby make any sense? What do people think? Your opinions please please!!!!!!!! Edited November 26, 2018 by Jaimsie
Zahara Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 Best to go back and read your other thread and absorb the advice. Along with this new information riddled with volatility and dysfunction, the last thing you both should be doing is thinking about bringing a child into this kind of toxicity. What on earth would cause you both to believe that this would be the kind of environment that would be healthy for a child to grow and thrive in? If you can’t even be responsible for yourself, how can you be responsible for a child? Based on your other thread, girlfriend can’t see past her nose except for her dire need to have a baby. All else does not matter. It’s concerning that you’re even asking this question.
BaileyB Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 Oh goodness, please don’t bring a child into this world right now. That would be so unfair to the child. You are simply not stable enough or financially prepared to have a child. Your first priority should be getting help with your addiction. You are not going to be successful with the AA meetings or dealing with your mental health issues if you are still drinking. Your doctor or a counsellor are your best support right now. If you can attend an inpatient treatment centre - do it! As for this relationship... I’m sorry to say, it needs to end. It is incredibly unstable and very unhealthy - for you both. Please, whatever you do, do not bring a child into this situation. That would be and increasingly irresponsible decision. It is concerning that you are even asking the question - but, I think you already know the answer... Best wishes with your treatment. Take care.
RecentChange Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 Dear god, NO DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT!!!! I am hard pressed to think of a worse idea. A more reckless idea. A more selfish idea. Bringing a child into the world is the single most important thing a person can do, and should only be considered when a good life can be given to that child. A pregnancy at this point is just about a guarantee that the child would suffer terribly due to the parents horrible choices. Please please please go get some professional help. I would recommend stopping all sex, but if that isn’t going to happen - please use condoms. Ugh, my heart aches for the children of the world who are born into circumstances like this - please do not make another
alphamale Posted November 26, 2018 Posted November 26, 2018 do not impregnate this woman or you will pay the price
RecentChange Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 do not impregnate this woman or you will pay the price The kid will be the one paying the real price. 1
BaileyB Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 The kid will be the one paying the real price. Indeed, you make a suicide attempt and end up in hospital, get in a drunken fight with your girlfriend and the police are called, or someone reports you to CPS and you will loose custody of the child. Don’t think it won’t happen, given the volitile and unstable relationship you describe, the addiction and mental health issues you are dealing with... it’s not hard to imagine that CPS won’t know your family at some point. 1
Recommended Posts