Lost my job and feel jealous of my girlfriend's new career.

[Leinad92]

Hey all, first time on one of these so go easy on me.

 

I'm 26. Only a few months ago an unexpected thing happened. I was at a friend's house having drinks with a few friends. A female friend I've known for 9 years turned up. We have always been closer than she is with the other lads in the group but she's been living away since she started University about four years ago and rarely comes back to visit.

 

Late that night after everyone else had gone to sleep, we stayed up talking, got more drunk and ended up making out. We brushed it off and I thought nothing of it. She started messaging me about random things and the next weekend when out for a friend's birthday we flirted all night and she came back to mine. We admitted we've both had latent feelings for each other for years and ended up having sex. Over the next few weeks we carried on hanging out and realised there's a huge ****ing spark and have started dating. It's actually been pretty great tbh and things are developing really well.

 

Now here's my problem which I know is petty. She's back living at home and is starting her last year of Uni in Feb. I've been working a pretty good job for the past few years but the company has collapsed last week out of nowhere and I've found myself without a job. She's gotten herself a new job in an upper class business a few weeks ago. I've been ridiculously happy for her, celebrated and all that good stuff. However, I'm now finding myself getting a little jealous. I know that it's common for this to be the death sentence on relationships so I'm a bit down about this whole situation.

 

I'm looking for work but already starting to feel like a spare part and a bit useless. Meanwhile, she can't help but brag about her day which of course I want her to do and I'm happy for her but I'm starting to get jealous and even annoyed and it's making me not want to reply to her half the time which is childish. Her job offers loads of perks and I'm embarrassed for her having to tell her coworkers that I'm unemployed.

 

Today she told me she's going to a fancy works do this Saturday which I actually thought she was inviting me to. I was talking about what I was going to wear before she told me she's known about it for a week but didn't ask me to come as I won't be able to afford it and she's taking a friend instead. She's apologised if she's upset me as she didn't intend to and I haven't told her but it's made me feel really useless now. I'm actually really gutted and embarrassed about this whole situation.

 

I know she's told me not to worry as I'll get another job soon but I doubt I'll be as well off as I was in my previous job which was a career.

I feel like I can't contribute to this relationship now and not sure what to do.

Edited November 26, 2018 by Leinad92

[Garcon1986]

Your priority right now is to get a job mate - take a deep breath and cover up your nervousness for the moment. Any job is better than none, and you will have an opportunity for career advancement once you start. Take a deep breath and be as confident as you can be. You are right on many of the other things you said. Keep your eye on the prize.

[kendahke]

turn your jealousy into the fire you need to land a new job. You're wasting all that energy on a pointless task.

[smackie9]

I think she has her head up really far up her ass TBH. She is so self absorbed in herself, and is dodging your situation. IMO she isn't as invested in this relationship as you might think. In her mind it's only been a couple of months so she isn't obligated and gave you this excuse you couldn't afford it. I tell you right now, if this is a high end company like you say, everything is going to be included.

[basil67]

She should have offered to pay for you to go to her work function. I bet you would have done the same for her if the tables were turned.

 

But don't worry about her having to tell people you're unemployed. First of all, you're not unemployed - you are looking for work after your previous company collapsed. I've been through a number of retrenchments with my hubby and nobody has ever looked down on him for that brief period of unemployment because they know that closures and retrenchments are part of the modern working world. They didn't even look down on him for the two months he had to use welfare. Focus on finding a new job and stay positive.

[Gretchen12]

She's fresh out of Uni. That's a completely different job market. Some companies allot positions to new graduates every year. How long they get to keep that job really varies. You are feeling jealous for something that's not for your current stage of life.