Boyfriend seems to have a thing for Japanese high school girls.

[ATPY]

I am real sorry if this is really long as its an accumulated kind of situation and I really need good advise. So the situation is I had know this American guy some 4 months back on an online dating site and we hit it right off. And begin a LDR. He lives in Japan and I am in some other parts of Asia. Both of us are into role play and one of the thing that we wanted to do is having me dress up as a Japanese high school girl when we meet. I am cool with this as everyone has their fantasies and fetishes etc. And I do like stuff like that. He has a lot of his past high school female students contact numbers and friends on social media. And they talked and meet up once in a while. So, no big deal as these are his friends. He does also have alot of guy friends to be honest. But now when I think about it, would any normal 50 years old man befriend girls who are young enough to be their grand daughters?

 

And there was this one time, I am not sure what we talked about and the topic touches on Japanese high school girls. Here, a 50 years old man with the way he described these girls who are young enough to be his grand daughter just gives me the creeps. He said he saw 2 things on the train that he LOVE and it is 2 high school girls using sign language. I was a little taken aback and asked if he is into high school girls. He just asked me back 'Is this news to you?' And go on with some descriptions of these girls that just gives me more goosebumps. He said 'High school girls are like butterflies, intangibly beautiful, but to touch them would ruin it. Their always smiling and laughing, their hair is long and black, before they get older and dye it **** brown. And don't get me going about their fashion.' And when I asked if he has a sexual fetish for them, he said 'I wouldn't say so.' (Like what??). So, I decided to let it go. I don't really have issues with men who are into young girls. It is their business. But what makes me confused is he has been so persistently stable and did not give me the impression of having an affair. He even shut off his online dating profile.

 

So now I am in Japan visiting him. We have great chemistry and he was really fun to be with. And he seems to take us seriously. He had me talked to his mom, introduced me to his friends etc. But I am a little disturbed that there were a few times I saw him staring at those high school girls legs with those knees high socks and loafers (he said these are what drives him crazy and these are what he wants me to wear.) though he tries to be discreet about it. Should I call this relationship off as somehow I feel like a 'consolation prize' to him as he knows the repercussions he will have if he have sex with a minor? Is it safe to say he has the potential to cheat if he is presented with an opportunity to screw a high school girl who happens to be smitten with him? I am all for him to seek out what he truly desire if he is just honest about it. And we can just break it off. But I am so darn confused now with his behaviour as he really sound very serious about what future he wants for both of us and what he has envision for us. Sorry if this long but men's and women's perspective is always appreciated here.

[stillafool]

He isn't the only one who has a fantasy for HS Japanese girls. There are a slew of American men who do.

[Garcon1986]

Many blokes are going to have fantasies. If he remains dedicated to you that is a good sign. I would pay attention to his actions in the next few weeks. Maybe have a try at dressing up in the formal attire that the HS peeps wear? See what it does for his attitude towards you. If he does anything that would be considered creepy, that would be a red flag. Most men would sneak a look at Japanese HS girls.

[ATPY]

Many blokes are going to have fantasies. If he remains dedicated to you that is a good sign. I would pay attention to his actions in the next few weeks. Maybe have a try at dressing up in the formal attire that the HS peeps wear? See what it does for his attitude towards you. If he does anything that would be considered creepy, that would be a red flag. Most men would sneak a look at Japanese HS girls.

Thanks for your advice. I do know lots of men have this fantasy. But to go at length at times to sneak photos of these girls in their uniform and legs (not upskirt shots), can it means there is more to it?

[Garcon1986]

Sneaking photos is a little odd. You would be very reasonable to express your concern about that. How about he sneaks photos of you instead?

[smackie9]

Boys will be boys as they say. If you are down for it, I don't see anything to worry about.

[d0nnivain]

This is way more then just some fantasy.

 

His is a middle aged TEACHER & you say he has personal contact info for his students & former students. You classify these people has his "friends." They are not. They are his potential victims. The photos, the obsession, asking you to dress like a HS girl before the 1st meeting. . . . this guy is off. He's using you to avoid getting arrested for having sex with a minor so at this point he may have some sense but if it was offered to him on a silver platter he wouldn't have the morals or restraint to turn it down.

 

Take up with him if you like but especially because you will be LDR expect that you will eventually learn he cheated on you with one of these fantasy friends, possibly even an actual child.

[ATPY]

Sneaking photos is a little odd. You would be very reasonable to express your concern about that. How about he sneaks photos of you instead?

So far he doesn't sneak photos of me. I think he has a really particular preferences on stuff like that. And to confuse things, he showed me these photos when we talked about role play. So it was pretty much in the open with him. And staying at his place now, his computer is all very open and I know it is not right to sneak in but I saw another photo with the high school girls legs. He seems to have nothing to hide but I don't know if I should continue seeing him as apparently he has a much greater desire for something else but he just cannot have it.

[bathtub-row]

It’s not so much the fantasy that I find disturbing but more his blatant salivating about it when you’re around. It’s the equivalent of a man who sits with a woman in a restaurant but he ogles other women the entire time. I would dump a guy like that.

 

I think there’s something you instinctively don’t like about this situation and I’d advise you not to ignore it. The truth is, you know almost nothing about this guy.

[Garcon1986]

Ok then sort out your boundaries, sort out his boundaries, and find out what sort of relationship he is looking for. He might not have the confidence to tell you directly, but pictures of his students legs is quite concerning and is illegal in many US jurisdictions. Sort out if you are OK with what you both want, and take it from there.

[Wallysbears]

This is way more then just some fantasy.

 

His is a middle aged TEACHER & you say he has personal contact info for his students & former students. You classify these people has his "friends." They are not. They are his potential victims. The photos, the obsession, asking you to dress like a HS girl before the 1st meeting. . . . this guy is off. He's using you to avoid getting arrested for having sex with a minor so at this point he may have some sense but if it was offered to him on a silver platter he wouldn't have the morals or restraint to turn it down.

 

Take up with him if you like but especially because you will be LDR expect that you will eventually learn he cheated on you with one of these fantasy friends, possibly even an actual child.

 

50 year old men sneaking pictures of high school students would be considered child porn if not verging on child porn in the US.

 

Not sure where you are but that's just creepy.

[lana-banana]

Sorry, upskirt or not, anyone sneaking photos is crossing a HUGE ethical and potentially legal line---and this guy is a teacher?! A teacher, taking photos of teenagers without their consent for his private fantasy material? Absolutely no way. I am with d0nnivain; this guy is a predator, even if he isn't physically violating anyone. Your concern is not about whether he has an affair, it's about whether he preys on a child while in a "relationship " with you.

[hippychick3]

I guess I'm in the minority, because I find this dude to be super creepy and perverted from what you described.

[Garcon1986]

If I understand you right, your boyfriend is in violation of Article 7 of Act 52 of the Japanese law code.

 

 

児童買春、児童ポルノに係る行為等の規制及び処罰並びに児童の保護等に関する法律

Act on Regulation and Punishment of Acts Relating to Child Prostitution and Child Pornography, and the Protection of Children

 

 

（児童ポルノ所持、提供等）

(Possession and Provision of Child Pornography and Other Related Acts)

第七条　自己の性的好奇心を満たす目的で、児童ポルノを所持した者（自己の意思に基づいて所持するに至った者であり、かつ、当該者であることが明らかに認められる者に限る。）は、一年以下の懲役又は百万円以下の罰金に処する。自己の性的好奇心を満たす目的で、第二条第三項各号のいずれかに掲げる児童の姿態を視覚により認識することができる方法により描写した情報を記録した電磁的記録を保管した者（自己の意思に基づいて保管するに至った者であり、かつ、当該者であることが明らかに認められる者に限る。）も、同様とする。

Article 7　(1)　Any person who possesses Child Pornography for the purpose of satisfying one's sexual curiosity (limited to those who have come to possess it voluntarily, and are clearly deemed to as such.) is punished by imprisonment for not more than 1 year or a fine of not more than 1, 000, 000 yen. The same applies to any person who retains electronic or magnetic records falling under any of the items of paragraph 3 of Article 2 depicting the image of a Child in a form recognizable by the sense of sight for the purpose of satisfying one's sexual curiosity (limited to those who have come to retain it voluntarily, and are clearly deemed to as such.).

 

 

Japanese Law Translation - [Law text] - Act on Regulation and Punishment of Acts Relating to Child Prostitution and Child Pornography, and the Protection of Children

[kendahke]

I guess I'm in the minority, because I find this dude to be super creepy and perverted from what you described.

 

I'm with you, hippychick3

[kendahke]

Thanks for your advice. I do know lots of men have this fantasy. But to go at length at times to sneak photos of these girls in their uniform and legs (not upskirt shots), can it means there is more to it?

 

stuff like this tends to escalate because the thrill of just legs and skirts won't be enough eventually and he's going to go for the upskirt shots to get that same hit he got just snapping their legs.

 

He's a letch. I'm thinking you can do way better than this creep.

[elaine567]

Are you a Japanese HS girl?

If not, then why are you there?

Stay away, he is a creep. I hope you have booked a hotel.

50 yo teacher taking sneaky sexy shots of his pupils... Ugh!

[Els]

Thanks for your advice. I do know lots of men have this fantasy. But to go at length at times to sneak photos of these girls in their uniform and legs (not upskirt shots), can it means there is more to it?

 

 

This is not okay, especially as a teacher. I suggest you take his phone and show it to the police. Those girls deserve to be protected, he should NOT be allowed to carry on teaching.

[stillafool]

Thanks for your advice. I do know lots of men have this fantasy. But to go at length at times to sneak photos of these girls in their uniform and legs (not upskirt shots), can it means there is more to it?

 

Sneak photos? All they have to do is look up Asian school girl porn to get their fantasies met. This guy is a perv.

[smackie9]

Does he have mirrors stuck to the toes of his shoes?

[ATPY]

Does he have mirrors stuck to the toes of his shoes?

No, he don't.

[SunnyWeather]

seriously, ATPY, this guy is a real creep. you deserve better

[MrPants]

The guy is comfortable with you enough to tell you his fantasies. Doesn't this count for something? Granted, it may be... odd and creepy, but as long as he doesn't act on them, I don't see much problems with it.

[fromheart]

Thanks for your advice. I do know lots of men have this fantasy. But to go at length at times to sneak photos of these girls in their uniform and legs (not upskirt shots), can it means there is more to it?

 

 

Though I haven't read the whole thread, I'm not sure why someone hasn't picked up on this.

 

Taking photos of anyone without their consent is disrespectful, taking photos of school age girls is not on. Even if they are 18, taking photos of their legs and uniform is not on.

 

Fantasies, consenting adults is one thing. Photos without consent is going on perverted, if they are minors its downright dark.

[jgraham11]

Japanese school girls are dressed rather.. provocatively. I can't say I blame him entirely as another man. Now if they're like 12 or 13 years old then yeah that's just weird, but a Japanese girl who is 17/18 wearing those uniforms? I mean it objectifies them, I've never understood why that's an acceptable thing to wear to school, but hey it is what it is.