Did he block me? Should I confront him?

[d0nnivain]

I don't know anything about SnapChat, sorry.

 

I think your right that this is more then social media. You are so upset because you know this is not a healthy quality dynamic.

[InlandEmpire]

What’s really upsetting is I have real feelings and he does not. I know it’s not me at least. It is who he is. His wife left him when she was pregnant for a reason, but he’s good in bed and I’m 100% sure she still let’s him visit her in that way. He is not someone who is capable of monogamy at all and he actually did not grow up with monogamous parents on top of everything else. I was okay with that, but it’s crossed a line now with the money involved and time I’m wasting thinking about him while he’s deleting me on Snapchat.

[d0nnivain]

The more you write, the more I think you need to severe thing with him.

 

He likes it when you don't initiate. He's unfaithful. He's unfeeling. He takes money from you. Now he's playing games.

 

Where is the upside for you with this guy? Yeah I get it. He's good in bed. So are lots of people & they aren't selfish. Buy a vibrator for sex & a dog for company. You will be better off.

[InlandEmpire]

The upside was that I am 9 years older and he made me feel good that maybe I wasn’t as bad as my ex said. I felt attractive and it’s the best sex I’ve had. He’s very high libido. I could even handle the unfaithfulness and not initiating because I’m a mom too and don’t have time for a real relationship yet. But, the games he’s playing are too much. There was also an incident where he said he “might” come over and take me out for drinks the next day. I didn’t believe it because it was his first day at his new job. Sure enough, he was active on FB and I know he could see I was on the night we were supposed to go out. He didn’t reach out that night at all AND then he actually turned off active on fb until the next morning so I wouldn’t know he was up all night and out with god knows who. The next day he sent an apology video and his FB was magically back to active. And now this Snapchat thing. I’m starting to really wonder what I’m doing. Why hasn’t he deleted me off FB? Is he hoping for more money and trying to manipulate me with the whole “I feel bad, you need it more.” He’s taken me out twice since he semi stood me up that one time.

[Saracena]

If he doesn't really use Snapchat and you're still on FB and Instagram, then it may well have been something he did accidentally as in clicking on the wrong icon etc. We've a friend like this (real technophobe) who's always doing things like this, inadvertently.

 

At any rate, I certainly wouldn't confront him angrily about it!

[InlandEmpire]

He drinks a lot so I wouldn’t put it past him. Another possibility is he deactivated his account and new people can attempt to add him, but old friends come across as blocked. Snapchat is very complicated. It’s also very likely that his ex wife who he’s seen more this week because her family is out of town went in and blocked all his phone contacts and it’s easier to unsync the contacts and block them off Snapchat, but not figure out who to delete off FB and Instagram.

[SunnyWeather]

how about instead of worrying about the ins and outs of how to work snapchat and how to better stalk this guy, how about question why you would give money and continue to offer money to a guy you barely know in exchange for sex?

[Minneloa]

Is this the same man from your previous thread?

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/665644-he-fading-out-should-i-contact-him-know-sure

[smackie9]

This is casual but you have expectations of a serious relationship. You are simply wasting your time if you are expecting more out of this,... he owes you nothing! TBH him blocking you on Instagram (if that is what happened) hasn't change the dynamic of your situation has it.....time to get a grip, get your feelings and head in check before you get too cray cray.

[InlandEmpire]

I know you’re so right. He moved and I didn’t hear from him for 16 days. He ended up texting to get together on day 16. That was 2 months in. It almost killed me not to hear from him for that long and I thought it might be over. Then he was back about once a week. I think I subconsciously thought he would treat me better and I’d be seen as more towards the top of his list than his ex and the other girls if I helped him financially and it was hard not to offer when he would tell me how broke he was from the child support and how he wasn’t going to eat that day. I’m also an empath and gift giver type as my love language. Yes this is the SAME guy.

[SunnyWeather]

I know you’re so right. He moved and I didn’t hear from him for 16 days. He ended up texting to get together on day 16. That was 2 months in. It almost killed me not to hear from him for that long and I thought it might be over. Then he was back about once a week. I think I subconsciously thought he would treat me better and I’d be seen as more towards the top of his list than his ex and the other girls if I helped him financially and it was hard not to offer when he would tell me how broke he was from the child support and how he wasn’t going to eat that day. I’m also an empath and gift giver type as my love language. Yes this is the SAME guy.

 

in your case, that's code for being desperate. work on your self esteem/self respect. you can do better.

[Minneloa]

Ok, thanks. With all due respect, this situation just seems like such a dramatic, complicated mess, with very little upside. What are *you* getting out of it?

[InlandEmpire]

This is casual but you have expectations of a serious relationship. You are simply wasting your time if you are expecting more out of this,... he owes you nothing! TBH him blocking you on Instagram (if that is what happened) hasn't change the dynamic of your situation has it.....time to get a grip, get your feelings and head in check before you get too cray cray.

 

You told me to break this off 2 months in when he disappeared for 16 days. The highest highest and lowest lows have happened since then. Of course, he texted on day 16 and I forgot everything he had done. I had already started feeling at least the oxytocin then and now he really knows he has my number because I warned him that when I drink, I tell guys I love them. So, of course I did exactly that when he took me out the last two times. He knows he can block me and I’ll still be there. So now what...

[InlandEmpire]

in your case, that's code for being desperate. work on your self esteem/self respect. you can do better.

 

 

I thought I was doing so good by never texting or calling first, never appearing clingy. But, as you can see the real girl who is that empath is acting like her usual obsessive clingy self and giving money so he knows deep down that’s the real me, right?

[InlandEmpire]

Ok, thanks. With all due respect, this situation just seems like such a dramatic, complicated mess, with very little upside. What are *you* getting out of it?

 

He is very attractive. Has girl groupies. Ex is not as cute or as good in bed. He is 10 years younger. I feel alive. He’s a lot of fun and even though it’s FWB he takes me out on real dates where people can see us (ex hubby would not) and he wait for it...spends the night (ex hubby and I split and still had sex sometimes during initial separation and he would not spend the night). It’s been like a real relationship in many ways. BUT, as you can see I’m going to get my heart broken and it’s been confusing because he does the stuff my husband would not do but he’s my friend.

[SunnyWeather]

I thought I was doing so good by never texting or calling first, never appearing clingy. But, as you can see the real girl who is that empath is acting like her usual obsessive clingy self and giving money so he knows deep down that’s the real me, right?

 

I'm sorry OP, but that sounds so pathetic. 'doing so good' what the heck does that mean?

 

the rest about what you think he knows and what's the real you is non sense. look at what is in front of you? stop trying to be something you're not. giving money to a dude you barely know, and one who is still married, is a really bad look. you deserve so much more.

[InlandEmpire]

I'm sorry OP, but that sounds so pathetic. 'doing so good' what the heck does that mean?

 

the rest about what you think he knows and what's the real you is non sense. look at what is in front of you? stop trying to be something you're not. giving money to a dude you barely know, and one who is still married, is a really bad look. you deserve so much more.

 

 

I didn’t add the part about his very small children including a baby since she left while pregnant. What am I doing? When all is said and done she also didn’t deserve all this.

[smackie9]

You told me to break this off 2 months in when he disappeared for 16 days. The highest highest and lowest lows have happened since then. Of course, he texted on day 16 and I forgot everything he had done. I had already started feeling at least the oxytocin then and now he really knows he has my number because I warned him that when I drink, I tell guys I love them. So, of course I did exactly that when he took me out the last two times. He knows he can block me and I’ll still be there. So now what...

Take my advice from last time and block/delete him.....kick him to the curb.

[Highndry]

You told me to break this off 2 months in when he disappeared for 16 days. The highest highest and lowest lows have happened since then. Of course, he texted on day 16 and I forgot everything he had done. I had already started feeling at least the oxytocin then and now he really knows he has my number because I warned him that when I drink, I tell guys I love them. So, of course I did exactly that when he took me out the last two times. He knows he can block me and I’ll still be there. So now what...

 

 

You don't seem to be in control of yourself, and that's a real problem. I'd look into the drinking issue first and foremost. It seems you have a lot of work to do in multiple areas.

 

 

 

After reading this whole thread this is entirely about you and not him. I'd say he's pretty much set the boundaries and you've accepted them, but now you want to change the course.

[InlandEmpire]

how about instead of worrying about the ins and outs of how to work snapchat and how to better stalk this guy, how about question why you would give money and continue to offer money to a guy you barely know in exchange for sex?

 

You don't seem to be in control of yourself, and that's a real problem. I'd look into the drinking issue first and foremost. It seems you have a lot of work to do in multiple areas.

 

 

 

After reading this whole thread this is entirely about you and not him. I'd say he's pretty much set the boundaries and you've accepted them, but now you want to change the course.

 

 

I’m not the drinking type and this is new territory for me. He is a heavy drinker on top of the other issues with monogamy, parenting, blowing all his money. Should I confront him about Snapchat and then depending, block and delete? You’re right that I wish the rules were different. At the very least I feel like I shouldn’t feel worried about texting him first and it’s been unfair. But, he’s always said he likes that about me and previous FWB texted too much.

[InlandEmpire]

Take my advice from last time and block/delete him.....kick him to the curb.

 

 

It’s coming and has been for a very long time.

[d0nnivain]

I thought I was doing so good by never texting or calling first, never appearing clingy. But, as you can see the real girl who is that empath is acting like her usual obsessive clingy self and giving money so he knows deep down that’s the real me, right?

 

No. You went all the way the other way. To avoid being clingy you turned yourself into a doormat.

 

 

You need to find better boundaries & have some self respect. You can't buy a man's affection. When you are doing all the work & he's not giving you can't sustain a relationship

[Purrrfect]

You are way too obsessed with Snapchat. I don't have it so I don't know.

 

Is his wife still pregnant? I have no idea why you would date anyone who has a woman pregnant or not even divorced. I also would never give a guy money.

 

This doesn't seem like much of a relation ship.