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If the FWB hooking up is good, why stop it? Or am I just bad in that area?

Dodgersfan11

By Dodgersfan11
in Friends and Lovers

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Dodgersfan11 Established Member

Dodgersfan11

Posted
Posted

I was thinking about the causal hook up that I had a awhile back, ok, so I thought he was up to getting together again and hooking up. He said something along of the lines like that he would like to have sex, but that he isn't going to give up on his "love life" for it. I'm like wth? Now, regarding FWB, if the guy thinks the sex is amazing, doesn't he want to do it again and again with the same woman??? Or did I not satisfy him sexually to keep coming back for more? I mean, if the man thinks that sex is amazing with a causal hookup then why go searching for "love" if the FWB satisfied him?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

Because the FWB only satisfies his penis. Love satisfies his soul and his penis. It will give him a whole lot more than his FWB.

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Happy Lemming Established Member

Happy Lemming

Posted
Posted
Now, regarding FWB, if the guy thinks the sex is amazing, doesn't he want to do it again and again with the same woman???

 

Guy here... to answer this question, YES, YES and YES!! As many times as I'm invited to come over, I will be there. No matter what time it is, call or text me and I'll be red-lining my sport bike to get there!!

 

I mean, if the man thinks that sex is amazing with a causal hookup then why go searching for "love" if the FWB satisfied him?

 

For me... if the FWB was giving me enough sex, I never looked for love or tried to date other people. As long as my penis was happy, that allowed me time/resources to focus more on work or flipping real estate.

lana-banana Established Member

lana-banana

Posted
Posted

FWB situations are only satisfying when neither party wants more. A guy or girl can be perfectly happy with their FWB until they meet someone they genuinely want to date. This guy told you he's focused on his love life---he has found someone else who provides an emotional and mental connection as well as a sexual one.

 

People don't always go "searching" for love. Sometimes you meet your dream person at a coffee shop, a work meeting, etc. These boards are filled with stories of FWBs who disappeared overnight and then it comes out the guy who swore he'd never commit is now engaged a year later. Some people aren't serious about a relationship until they meet someone who changes everything.

  • Like 1
grays Established Member

grays

Posted
Posted

He does want more sex with you, though. The sex was good and satisfying, so he wants more. Sounds like he is wanting to come back for more, so your questions are kind of confusing to me.

 

I wouldn’t have read “not going to give up my love life” to mean he’s necessarily looking for love. He might be but he might just be saying he’s not wanting to be exclusive because he wants to be able to date and/or have hookups w others.

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted
He does want more sex with you, though. The sex was good and satisfying, so he wants more. Sounds like he is wanting to come back for more, so your questions are kind of confusing to me.

 

I wouldn’t have read “not going to give up my love life” to mean he’s necessarily looking for love. He might be but he might just be saying he’s not wanting to be exclusive because he wants to be able to date and/or have hookups w others.

 

I don't get that at all.

He doesn't want more sex from the OP, he made that clear.

She asked him but he said no as he wasn't giving up his love life for it.

He may have thought the sex was great or he may have thought the sex was bad, we don't know what he thought, but he has made it obvious he doesn't want to repeat the experience.

Thanks but no thanks is the message.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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To me it sounds like he has met someone and doesn't want to cheat on her with his previous FWB. He has strong emotions for this new girl and views her as his "love life".

 

OP you just need to find a new FWB.

  • Like 2
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
To me it sounds like he has met someone and doesn't want to cheat on her with his previous FWB. He has strong emotions for this new girl and views her as his "love life".

 

This is also how I interpret it.

 

Dodger's it's also worth putting into the equation that while Happy Lemming agrees with you, he's not (as far as I'm aware) wanting a relationship. The guy you are interested in sounds like he DOES want a relationship.

  • Like 1
Whodatdog Established Member

Whodatdog

Posted
Posted
Because the FWB only satisfies his penis. Love satisfies his soul and his penis. It will give him a whole lot more than his FWB.

 

You win the internet.

  • Like 1
grays Established Member

grays

Posted
Posted
He said something along of the lines like that he would like to have sex, but that he isn't going to give up on his "love life" for it.

 

I don't get that at all.

He doesn't want more sex from the OP, he made that clear.

She asked him but he said no as he wasn't giving up his love life for it.

 

I don’t under why you guys think he doesn’t want to have sex when he said he did. Sounds to me like he just doesn’t want a relationship with her.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

He's not looking for one partner. He's looking for sex with many different women. Mentioning his love life, he's also thinking he'll find someone he cares something about in addition to his hookups and he isn't going to let some FWB make him lose whoever that is or prevent him from finding her. Lots of men are not looking for "one" woman but for sex with many.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

Posted
Posted (edited)
Are we talking about the ex FWB who now has a girlfriend? The one you offered a threesome to if they should break up?

 

Even if it's a different guy, you're capable of demonstrating wildly inappropriate boundaries and he knows he needs to stay away from you.

 

https://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/666792-guy-i-went-out-told-me-he-doesn-t-think-its-good-idea-friends-2.html

 

I agree with this. If his is the same guy, he met you in a bar and you had sex. You were not even FWB - you had a one night stand. You then made it clear to him that you wanted more, and you really you crossed the line of what he wanted from you/what is acceptable behavior (the suggestion re: the threesome). Suddenly, the promise of NSA sex was not worth the risk of dating a woman who had the potential to become too attached. So, he decided to stay away and told you in no uncertain terms that he planned to date/have sex with other women. It has less to do with the sex than the fact that he didn’t want to get entangled in a relationship with a woman who wanted more from him than he was willing to give.

Edited by BaileyB
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