Torn728 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Is it weird if widower’s dating profile has a few pictures of him with his late wife? Is it a red flag?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 It would be a turnoff for me, especially if I looked nothing like her and thought I wasn't his physical type.
Happy Lemming Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 In my opinion, Yes... its odd/strange, and may be a red flag. He may still be mourning the loss of his wife, thus leaving her in the photos?? I always thought it was in good taste to post very recent pictures of yourself, if you are serious about using OLD. If he really wanted to use some older photos, there are many "photo-shop" type software programs out where he could "remove" the deceased wife from the pictures, quite easily. Many years ago, I helped a friend with the "computer" aspects of setting up her on-line dating profile. Some of the pictures she wanted to use had her ex-husband in them. A few minutes with my crude photo-editing software and the "ex" was gone and the picture was ready for uploading.
Gretchen12 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 No it is not a red flag. It would be a red flag if he deleted his late wife's image (either cut her out of it or Xed out her face). How cold is that?! He should mourn forever. But that doesn't mean he can't love again. I think if the picture bothers you then maybe a widower is not for you.
central Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 He may simply be clueless about how he should present himself, if he's new to online dating. Hopefully someone kindly explains to him how it is counterproductive, and that he should get new photos and review his other content. 1
Simple Logic Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 OLD photos containing deceased or divorced spouses, old Bfs/Gfs or hugging pets is usually communicating the person is not emotionally available 1
Mrs._December Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 He may simply be clueless about how he should present himself, if he's new to online dating. Hopefully someone kindly explains to him how it is counterproductive, and that he should get new photos and review his other content. I absolutely agree, 100%. I get the impression this poor guy is floundering a bit and isn't quite sure how to represent himself in his profile. It's likely because he probably never thought he'd one day be in a position to use online dating. Just because he included pictures of his deceased wife doesn't automatically mean he's still in love with her and crying into his beer every night. I met my husband on a dating site and HE was a widower. He was very confused as to what to put in his profile and he too had considered using a picture or two of he and his deceased wife in his gallery because he thought it would make him appear more stable and less a flake or player type, but he'd decided against it in the end. So it doesn't always mean they're still in love and "grieving" their lost partner; sometimes it just means they're not quite sure what the correct protocol is for creating an online dating profile.
smackie9 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 (edited) Online dating profile photos should be fresh/new/current of just YOU or THEM....period. That is what people expect no matter what the situation is. Having photos of you with your departed spouse would be no different than having photos of an ex GF/BF or some of the woman you/they have slept with...not right...ick IMO they shouldn't be trying to date if that is what they are posting. Edited November 24, 2018 by smackie9
salparadise Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Yea, I think it's clueless, in poor taste, and probably a red flag. He's not thinking about it from the viewer's perspective. There's a good chance that his house has shrines to the dearly departed hanging on the walls too. He probably thinks he's just being real, honoring her memory, etc... not considering that a new dating partner will not want to see her shadow everywhere. He should realize that you're interested in seeing evidence that he's ready to start a new relationship with a clean slate. Are you sure it's the former wife and not his sister? Some people make that mistake too.
Author Torn728 Posted November 27, 2018 Author Posted November 27, 2018 Get a load of this...some of the pics are of his late wife...on not necessarily a deal killer but as soon as I met him he said I hope it’s not a deal killer but I’m really 71 not 68 and I did it on site bc I have a lot of energy and need someone younger. Thoughts? I played that it was fine but not sure. I’m 61. Not sure I want someone 10 yrs older but he was nice and wants to see me again.
Author Torn728 Posted November 27, 2018 Author Posted November 27, 2018 He didn’t ask me about myself except if I enjoyed certain activities that he likes. Is that weird for a first date?
RedHead5 Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 Sounds like you may have three strikes already lol If you had any chemistry, I'd give him up to three dates to decide. If there wasn't any chemistry, move on. 1
SunnyWeather Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 He didn’t ask me about myself except if I enjoyed certain activities that he likes. Is that weird for a first date? not for online dating. the question you should be asking yourself is: why do I care? the guy sounds like a loser.
lurker74 Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 It's a....I don't know...mauve flag? Not quite red but derived from the red color group? Maybe burnt umber? Tomato? Cinnamon? Wait, no, cinnamon is a spice. Here you go...it's a coquelicot flag. So you go out with him and then decide if he's emotionally available. They say a picture is worth a thousand words but on dates, you get something like 10,000 words, so that's more than a typical dating profile! Some of those words might be, "I lied on my profile..." in which case you move on.
Malin889 Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 Get a load of this...some of the pics are of his late wife...on not necessarily a deal killer but as soon as I met him he said I hope it’s not a deal killer but I’m really 71 not 68 and I did it on site bc I have a lot of energy and need someone younger. Thoughts? I played that it was fine but not sure. I’m 61. Not sure I want someone 10 yrs older but he was nice and wants to see me again. I think lying about your age is a deal breaker- like, what is the point? If you start off a relationship with a lie, it can’t go anywhere but down. A guy who had messaged me out 47 as his age, but then when he was describing himself, in his profile he put “I’m really 57”. I asked why he did that and he said the same thing, because he wanted to get younger people. I thought that was creepy. The thing is. He looks like he’s in his 40s, so if he told the truth I probably would have gone out with him.
smackie9 Posted November 27, 2018 Posted November 27, 2018 I think lying about your age is a deal breaker- like, what is the point? If you start off a relationship with a lie, it can’t go anywhere but down. A guy who had messaged me out 47 as his age, but then when he was describing himself, in his profile he put “I’m really 57”. I asked why he did that and he said the same thing, because he wanted to get younger people. I thought that was creepy. The thing is. He looks like he’s in his 40s, so if he told the truth I probably would have gone out with him. You would never had seen each other on the site for that reason...the sites limit the age. Women are more discriminated against on dating sites...they are limited to like 5 years while men are limited to 11 years difference, unless that has changed or some sites don't use a limit.
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