GigiAlfonsi Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 (edited) Okay I am going to try to keep it brief but its a kind of long story, so bear with me... So a little over a month ago I was on a trip and I had a one night stand with a guy at my hostel, who was from the States as well, but across the country. We had been flirting for a day or two, got drunk and went back to my hostel. We went for two rounds with some nice pillow talk in between and a kiss or two goodbye. The next day, it was chill, we talked by the pool at the hostel and we went about our days adventures separately. So fast forward to later that night, it was my last night on vacation. I wanted to have a lot of fun and I was hoping he would be going out later. I went to one of the usual clubs and saw one of his friends there and asked where he was. Apparently he fell asleep due to partying for the last x amount of days. So I just chilled with his friends and other friends from the hostel. Well the night was coming to an end but I didnt want it to. Most of my friends were heading back to the hostel to go to bed but I wanted to stay up to watch the sunrise on the beach. So the only person willing to stay up with me was, you guessed it, his friend. We had a pretty chill night/morning until he kissed me and then we proceeded to fall asleep on the beach due to being up all night drinking. We woke up a few hours later and went back to our hostel. It probably wasn't the best look showing up in the early morning with his friend but it is what it is. I figured it didn't matter. It was a one night stand and I would probably see neither of them again. So that was that, I left. Nothing was really talked about further. He went back to the states and I left for my next journey. Fast forward to two weeks later when I'm in another country, he randomly messages me asking me if I slept with his friend. To which I replied absolutely not, which was the truth. I asked him why he brought this up two weeks later and he told me it was because he asked his friend, and when he denied us sleeping together, he didn't believe him... so he wanted to hear it from me. I admitted that we did kiss and I provided an explanation as to how that ended up happening. Which is when he told me that "there is no need to explain myself. So the messages continued a bit weird & hostile-ish for a bit but it ended on a rather civil and friendly note. That was the end of it. But he kind of seemed condescending and made me feel like a crazy girlfriend for simply feeling bad about getting drunk and letting his friend kiss me. Its just not in my nature to do that and I just wanted to make it clear to him that I was sorry about acting that way. Fast forward to today he messages me asking "How was your thanksgiving?" I said "It was good, can't complain when I dont have to work for 4 days. How about yours? and he said "Haha. Yeah sounds pretty solid" I didn't reply because he didnt give me much to go off of and I was wondering why he was even messaging me in the first place. Some important things to note -I heard him tell a random guy at the bar we were at that I was "too hot for him" -Before we hooked up, he told me that "I made him nervous" and that "Im dangerous for him" -He mentioned that our sex was "Really good" -He talked about his ex girlfriend of 6 years to me that I think broke up with him awhile ago... so it seems like he may be hung up on her Also remember, he is across the country from me. So its not like he's hitting me up for a booty call. WHY IS HE MESSAGING ME?! its messing with my head because I have been thinking about him a lot since we hooked up and now this is getting to my head. Please provide opinions ((( Edited November 27, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for PII
5x5 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Lest you waste your time, you would do well to ignore and block him.
Simple Logic Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Maybe he has been thinking a lot about you too. Vacation hookup memories can do that to a person.
smackie9 Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Just chalk it up as a good time and carry on with your life dating other guys.
d0nnivain Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Extract yourself from the HS BF you live with before you try to deal with this LDR mess.
Highndry Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 When you have sex with a guy one night, then kiss his friend the next night, the first guy is going to lose all respect for you. 1
Author GigiAlfonsi Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 When you have sex with a guy one night, then kiss his friend the next night, the first guy is going to lose all respect for you. Then why is he messaging me weeks later?
Highndry Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 Then why is he messaging me weeks later? The first time to ask if you slept with his friend. The last one? Hard to say, but there sure doesn't seem to be a lot of interest on his part.
Author GigiAlfonsi Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 The first time to ask if you slept with his friend. The last one? Hard to say, but there sure doesn't seem to be a lot of interest on his part. well we proceeded to message for 5 hours after what I put in this post. And his friend kissed me and I told him I wasn't about to do that and pushed him away.
salparadise Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 When you have sex with a guy one night, then kiss his friend the next night, the first guy is going to lose all respect for you. ...but ...but ...but she explained that it wasn't in her nature. Which I thought was kinda cute.
Saracena Posted November 24, 2018 Posted November 24, 2018 The fact he didn't make plans to meet up with you on your last night in Bali tells me this guy wasn't interested in anything further. The only thing that later piqued his interest was finding out if you'd slept with his friend or not. 1
DyannB Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 Actually... I think this guy is quite into you, but he's scared as hell.... He's broken up with a girlfriend of 6 years.. you made it sound fairly recent... say the last 6 months or so. You also said he mentioned he thought you were too hot for him and the sex was really good... etc. He's scared. He's feeling a lot of things right now and has no idea how to handle them. He's not feeling over confident, but doesn't really want to stop contact with you yet has no idea if, when or how to move forward with it. Personally, as a woman who is in my middle years and has spent much time in this type of head space when I was younger... I say do yourself a favor and stay busy and don't dwell on him too much. Easier said than done I know. However, now is not the time to chase or worry about him too much. In fact, it's never a good time for a woman to chase or worry about a man too much. You're a long distance away. He will need to get his head straight and clear on who he is first and then what he does or doesn't want with you and then take action on that. If that doesn't happen... then it shouldn't happen. As a woman... never chase. It's undignified. Period.
TheFinalWord Posted November 25, 2018 Posted November 25, 2018 Then why is he messaging me weeks later? He probably got a big ego boost, thinking he scored with a really hot woman, but then his friend did too. So, it deflated his ego and made him think there wasn't anything special about him. You're just easy. He might have also liked you a little bit.
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