Why are older (single) men taboo?

[basil67]

Unfortunately the quality of lot of boys my age today is pretty sad. Maybe it’s because most never had a father (which is often because of the mother’s decision), maybe it’s the Internet.

 

I see a silver fox as being pretty interesting. But there is a lot of hate. If I have the guts to really do it there are going to be a lot of relatives, friends and even strangers who are going judge. There will be people I love who will not talk to me.

 

Your friends and family will continue talking to you. Why? Because they will be concerned for you. For all the reasons people have listed previously.

 

Let me turn this around: Why do you think an interesting older man would have a relationship with a teenage girl? (I'm not being rude about you, I have a fabulous daughter your own age) Because let me tell you, a teenage girl does not have what it takes to entice an interesting and well behaved old guy. Even if they ended up with a women 15 years their junior, they are still vastly ahead of you and your peers in terms of maturity, life experience, interests, wisdom and freedom.

 

However, a teenage girl does have what it takes to entice a dirty old man or perpetual child-man. And this is why people worry.

[basil67]

I 've been socializing for years and some of the men are dating women young enough to be their daughters.

 

Probably not to the extreme of a 55yo and a teenager though.....

 

But yes, I know where you're coming from. 20 year age gap with a woman who's out of her teens is not out of the question. And yes, we respectfully wait for the fling to be over. There's no hate.

[hotpotato]

This is really not true....Especially now...

 

Older women are looking better than their younger counterparts at a rate I haven't seen in my lifetime...I chalk it up to the fact that older women have bodies that were conditioned to move, they didn't grow up sitting in their rooms playing video games and staring at their phone......Most women under 30 or so, even if they aren't fat, have zero muscle tone, many have saggy asses and tits, small pot bellies, etc...

 

I'm not saying all now, but more than I ever remember....Back in the 80's, you could go to the beach and practically never see an woman under 30 that wasn't tight...Now? Yikes..

 

Technology is great, but not for everything...Its certainly hurt this generation in terms of body composition and fitness..

 

And I have found that many guys that look for younger do so, because they can't handle the fact that older women can see through their bullshyt...They are in many cases, predators looking for an easy mark...Not all, but a lot of them, anyway...

 

TFY

 

That's assuming that men in general want an athletic woman. I know guys who are very into fitness but don't find it necessary for a woman to be in great shape for her to be attractive. T&A & body ratios are more important than fitness. Most women come out the puberty oven with nice or very sexy bodies.

 

Your assessment is harsh. I live in one of the fattest states in the USA, and I see plenty of young women in good or decent shape.

 

I've heard the glee and joy from men who've gotten a very young woman. I've never heard a man be happy or brag abt having an older woman. Never.

[gaius]

I've heard the glee and joy from men who've gotten a very young woman. I've never heard a man be happy or brag abt having an older woman. Never.

I brag about it all the time potato.

 

One of my former trainees was married to a woman 20 years his senior for over 20 years. Healthy examples of both kinds of age gaps are everywhere actually.

 

Though I don't doubt there are plenty of old men out there who get off on the extra status a younger woman might bring him in today's society, sometimes it's just about love.

[thefooloftheyear]

That's assuming that men in general want an athletic woman. I know guys who are very into fitness but don't find it necessary for a woman to be in great shape for her to be attractive. T&A & body ratios are more important than fitness. Most women come out the puberty oven with nice or very sexy bodies.

 

Your assessment is harsh. I live in one of the fattest states in the USA, and I see plenty of young women in good or decent shape.

 

I've heard the glee and joy from men who've gotten a very young woman. I've never heard a man be happy or brag abt having an older woman. Never.

 

So then I guess the people producing MILF porn are just dumb asses, because no one is interested in it, right?

 

My assessment isn't harsh, its just reality...Statistics don't lie.. women are heaver and fatter than they have ever been...Teens included..

 

"Most women come out of puberty with nice or very sexy bodies?" Now??? 2018?? no way...Id say some...not most...Not by a long shot...

 

My point is only this...

 

The original idea of selecting a younger woman based on her body isn't as attractive as it once was...Not when older women are looking better than they ever have and younger women.....well...they have slipped a notch...

 

TFY

[CptInsano]

I've heard the glee and joy from men who've gotten a very young woman. I've never heard a man be happy or brag abt having an older woman. Never.

 

I have. Granted, the woman was also wealthy and sexy as sin itself. The guy just ran out of reasons not to brag.

 

Personally, I'd want a woman close to my own age, it just makes life a lot simpler and it's easier to connect emotionally.

[stillafool]

I see a lot of out of shape younger people (both men and women) who are completely out of shape for their age. It makes me wonder what it will look like when they reach middle age. It is true that back in the 80s it was hard to find any younger or middle aged people who were obese or what is considered fat today. Maybe technology has something to do with it or body shapes changed for the generations.

[anika99]

Your friends and family will continue talking to you. Why? Because they will be concerned for you. For all the reasons people have listed previously.

 

Let me turn this around: Why do you think an interesting older man would have a relationship with a teenage girl? (I'm not being rude about you, I have a fabulous daughter your own age) Because let me tell you, a teenage girl does not have what it takes to entice an interesting and well behaved old guy. Even if they ended up with a women 15 years their junior, they are still vastly ahead of you and your peers in terms of maturity, life experience, interests, wisdom and freedom.

 

However, a teenage girl does have what it takes to entice a dirty old man or perpetual child-man. And this is why people worry.

 

This actually reminds me of a friendship I had many years ago. I was 28yrs old, a single mom with 2 kids, working full time. I was part of a self help group that and there I met an 18yr old girl who was just graduating high school. There weren't any other young people in our group so she sort of latched onto me and we became friends outside of the group.

 

I considered her mature for her age and we had some great discussions. She'd come hang out at my place sometimes because I had kids and couldn't go out much due to not having childcare. I enjoyed her visits and welcomed the company. It was great when it was just the two of us hanging out and talking. I barely noticed the age difference and it was only a 10yr difference anyways so no big deal.

 

However, there were times when she had something going on that involved some of her same age friends and she would ask me to come too. This was when our age difference became glaringly obvious. When she was with her same age friends her young age became very apparent. I wasn't even that much older than her but we were at vastly different stages of life. She was still a teenager, I was an adult mother of 2. We truly had nothing much in common. It was fine in our friendship bubble of just 2 people but out in the real world it just didn't work. I didn't want to hang around with teenagers, but hanging out with me and by kids or my older friends was a bit of a drag for her.

 

Also I realized that even though we did have great conversations most of those conversations involved me relating to her but not vice versa. Because I had been through the things she was going through I could listen and understand her problems, but she had no idea of my life. She couldn't relate to my angst of raising kids, struggling to make ends meet, being almost thirty and single. So there was an imbalance, she was a really sweet girl but we couldn't be BFFs because of our age difference.

[stillafool]

Unfortunately the quality of lot of boys my age today is pretty sad. Maybe it’s because most never had a father (which is often because of the mother’s decision), maybe it’s the Internet.

 

I see a silver fox as being pretty interesting. But there is a lot of hate. If I have the guts to really do it there are going to be a lot of relatives, friends and even strangers who are going judge. There will be people I love who will not talk to me.

 

If you have people who will refuse to talk to you just because you love a certain person maybe those are the people you need to drop. Do you plan to live your life pleasing others or yourself?

[hotpotato]

So then I guess the people producing MILF porn are just dumb asses, because no one is interested in it, right?

 

My assessment isn't harsh, its just reality...Statistics don't lie.. women are heaver and fatter than they have ever been...Teens included..

 

"Most women come out of puberty with nice or very sexy bodies?" Now??? 2018?? no way...Id say some...not most...Not by a long shot...

 

My point is only this...

 

The original idea of selecting a younger woman based on her body isn't as attractive as it once was...Not when older women are looking better than they ever have and younger women.....well...they have slipped a notch...

 

TFY

 

If so many women want older women romantically, where are they? Why dont i see 20 something men wuth much older women? There's many types of porn out there, that doesn't mean people at large enjoy it.

 

You're overestimating how much men needs an athletic woman. Like I said, I live in one of the fattest states in America and still don't have issues finding women who are in decent shape or have float out bad add bodies.

[chillii]

Yeah l agree women are often aging much better nowa days.

 

But what erks me with this type of questions when it's about men , is all the reasons and how much must be wrong with him that women come up with, yet so then that must mean it's all those same reasons for all the cougars out there then and they have all the same problems, but for some reason that's never mentioned.

 

Well , l fell for someone 25yrs younger than me and l'll tell you it wasn't because of some problem l had.

Yeah sure l loved her physically but equally as attractive was just her life and vitality , energy, her playfulness , it was all over her l loved it and we got along like a house on fire, you can click with anyone anything can happen. And she was smart too ,easily my equal if not a bit more she ooozed intelligence.

Where as sadly mostly women my age were all so serious and so bogged down in life bs and as much fun as a migraine. l mean l get it lifes tough there's a lotta water under the bridge but it all depends on how we wanna live and deal with all that.

 

lt didn't go anywhere later because obviously being at such different times in life it wasn't all that practical. But thankfully gf now has all the same life and vitality about her, fun , it's a real personality trait l just love and gel with, she's often like a 51 20yr old in looks and ways, it's a beautiful combo, But just because like me she refuses to let life's bs rule her doesn't mean she she ain't in there , she's more in there than most and as smart as hell too.

So l'm a very happy cookie.

Edited December 1, 2018 by chillii

[chillii]

Mind you , l could well understand why your family and friends might worry.He could be using you conning you or manipulating , it's not a very practical match up, you might end up broken hearted Early 20s back when l hung out with someone 5yrs older than me for awhile but she was sorta much older than that, family hated it and despised her. Mum never spoke to her once.

[Serotonine]

I’ve had a crush a couple of times on older men; I mean 20 to 30 years older. They were married so I didn’t do anything about it. However when I told friends and family about my feelings they were really negative.

 

It is not a taboo. The thing is that the general "PR" about relationships and norms surrounding it in the Western Society are created and perpetrated by women and for women. As women age they start feeling uncomfortable losing competition to younger girls and try to shame them for dating older men. They also hate men for picking younger women over them and offend such men as "creepy" (very vague and meaningless term) etc.

 

Notice the difference: an older man dating younger woman is "a creep" and she is a "golddigger",a "bimbo" or whatever. An older woman dating younger guy is always a "cougar", "you go girl" etc. This is all you need to know.

[hotpotato]

It is not a taboo. The thing is that the general "PR" about relationships and norms surrounding it in the Western Society are created and perpetrated by women and for women. As women age they start feeling uncomfortable losing competition to younger girls and try to shame them for dating older men. They also hate men for picking younger women over them and offend such men as "creepy" (very vague and meaningless term) etc.

 

Notice the difference: an older man dating younger woman is "a creep" and she is a "golddigger",a "bimbo" or whatever. An older woman dating younger guy is always a "cougar", "you go girl" etc. This is all you need to know.

And yet how many younger men are banging down the doors of women 20,30 years their senior? Even if there's a you go girl attitude, that doesn't mean older women are in high demand.

 

I have. Granted, the woman was also wealthy and sexy as sin itself. The guy just ran out of reasons not to brag.

 

Personally, I'd want a woman close to my own age, it just makes life a lot simpler and it's easier to connect emotionally.

 

Does he brag on her just because she's older? Is she a prize merely for being older?

[elaine567]

The creepiness and general "ick" factor felt by society, is due to the fact that society abhors incest and that older men dating women young enough to be their daughters or women dating men young enough to be their sons is thus discouraged and frowned upon.

 

Also people having and caring for children within normal age limits works well.

Encouraging big age gap partnerships means young kids can be left in single parent families due to the "old" part of the relationship naturally dying off...

[Serotonine]

And yet how many younger men are banging down the doors of women 20,30 years their senior? Even if there's a you go girl attitude, that doesn't mean older women are in high demand.

 

Sorry,I didn't understand your point. Do you mean that older women aren't in high demand despite the general encouragement by femocentric media?

[Purepony]

I can see why the poster feels the way she does.

 

op you don’t have to date “old” men.... why not date an older than you man ? Maybe someone who’s 25-27? Or even low 30s?

You don’t have to go date a 40-50 year olds

 

I’m 32 and I don’t think I would date an 18 year old. As a matter of fact I dated a 19 who was amazingly gorgeous and fun and it even crossed my mind but I just couldn’t she still had a lot to do, experience and live her life so I backed off and surprisingly she was all in.

 

I guess I could date but not really take it serious and it wouldn’t just be the age gap it would also be the things in common, goals and experiences

[True gentleman]

Our society has such a high value of ourselves that we think everything we do and believe is correct. Therefore we often want to project our own values on to everyone else. Putting a sad situation is like being married or doing it for reasons other than companionship I don’t think it really matters what the world thinks about it. If you’re more comfortable being with a man who is 20 years older than you Then I would value my own comfort over what others think.

[Garcon1986]

In my personal experience, I once signed up for a dance club in Irish dance. My favourite activity in the whole wide world. This is before the #metoo era. I felt like I suddenly stopped living under a rock and finally saw the light, when I discovered Irish dance, and as an extra bonus, was surrounded by stunning women. I asked two out, and my life at that dance club was drastically cut short. They never said anything to me directly, but I was told that it would be in my best interest to never show up to the dance club again. I had not committed any assault, inappropriate touching - was merely labeled as a creep. They were prepared to band together and kick me out for merely making them feel uncomfortable and I was only 3 years their senior at the time. So - here's my own experience as to why older men are taboo. Men have to contend with their intentions being totally misinterpreted. Later I found out they accepted lots more guys, but wanted me out specifically.

[hotpotato]

Sorry,I didn't understand your point. Do you mean that older women aren't in high demand despite the general encouragement by femocentric media?

 

Yes, in short.

[basil67]

Sorry,I didn't understand your point. Do you mean that older women aren't in high demand despite the general encouragement by femocentric media?

 

Serotonine, I suggest you start reading quality, mainstream media. You'll find nothing in it about older women being in high demand.

 

In the meantime, it would be wise to not believe everything you read on the interwebs. Critical thought is paramount.

[hotpotato]

Serotonine, I suggest you start reading quality, mainstream media. You'll find nothing in it about older women being in high demand.

 

In the meantime, it would be wise to not believe everything you read on the interwebs. Critical thought is paramount.

 

In fact, the opposite is there l, like studies showing men of all ages sexually prefer very young women (18-25). I myself have been hit on by men as old as 70 when I was in my 20s.

[basil67]

In fact, the opposite is there l, like studies showing men of all ages sexually prefer very young women (18-25). I myself have been hit on by men as old as 70 when I was in my 20s.

 

All older men? I'm not buying it.

 

I do however buy that there are some dirty old men who will hit on a very young women.

[gaius]

When I interact with those 18-25 nowadays often it has a not the exact same, but similar feel to when I'm talking with someone who's mentally disabled. There's just something not fully formed, missing in their minds and with their thought process. Because they're still kids.

 

Of course there are exceptions but that's usually how it feels. They might be great people overall but if you think that's sexy, well it's not. =/

[carhill]

Perhaps older men are taboo now but I recall, as a young man, my mother's youngest sister (of eight) relating the story of the tall, striking 26yo Danish military veteran courting the young Russian girl of 16 after the war was over. He had found work after the war as a carpenter and she was going to high school. They were married when she was eighteen, had a son and daughter, a number of grand children and great grandchildren and were married for 56 years until he died.

 

Today, a 26yo dating a 16yo would have shotguns unracked and law enforcement summoned. Back in the 40's, no big deal. They were married in '48. If anything, my mom was the anomaly in the family as all her sisters were married before they were 20, and to men generally 8-12 years their senior. Were they children? IDK. I think all were married for life or for a very long time. That's kinda adult stuff.

 

I can't imagine dating my friend's grandchildren or young ladies their age. Some guys can. Different strokes. However, I wouldn't consider social opinions as anything relevant to my personal choices. People just aren't that important in life, or their opinions. It's not like they're going to do anything about it, rather just flap their piehole. Seen that enough. For the rest of it, I'm trained and ready to go. Just like my uncle, that Dane who married my aunt used to say, the best Jap is a dead Jap. He lived it, on Bataan. That, opinion spewers, is reality. If not for guys like him, we'd be speaking Japanese. Never forget it.