Is it normal have ill feelings towards the OW, even she not aware the situation

[judy]

My ex cheated on me with this OW in his work while i still lived with him. And then he lied to her that we broke up long time ago, so she thought he is legitimate to date.

 

Now they married, and blah, blah. and she is expecting now.

 

And I still don'tlike her and can not even more, bless them. But I have to deal with them due to my son. SO it is very hard to deal with my feelings. Sometimes I feel like I have to keep my cool, but most of the time, she bothers a lot. and I have no good words/face to her.

 

How to get over with this?

 

Is this normal feelings in such situation?

[Merin]

Well... you feel how you feel... so with that said I guess IMO there isn't a right or wrong way to feel.

 

I think it's normal to feel upset that the person you thought loved you and you would spend your life with ended up cheating on you and lying... and to some extent I believe it is human nature to look at the person they cheated with in the light of "IF it hadn't been for you, we'd still be happy" however it isn't IMO real... more times than not if it hadn't been the person they cheated with it would've been someone else...

 

The real issue here IMO is how you're dealing with getting over you EX... when he doesn't matter anymore... regardless if he's having a good life, a sh*tty life or whatever.... when it just doesn't phase you anymore is when you've really put it behind you, have dropped that baggage and can move on.

 

Hang in there

[Barby]

I'm sure it is normal.....in a way I'm sure that it feels like she "stole" him. Since she was unaware of you still being in the picture, blaming/disliking her isn't really fair but it happens. If you still have feelings for your ex then you'll have these ill feelings more-so.

[judy]

Most times, I have no feelings towards my ex now. Most times I only feel so bad for my son, and wonder how he got treated over there.

 

And I just can not cheer up to be her friend or bless their new coming baby. There is no way. Am I too shallow?

[Merin]

Most times, I have no feelings towards my ex now. Most times I only feel so bad for my son, and wonder how he got treated over there.

 

And I just can not cheer up to be her friend or bless their new coming baby. There is no way. Am I too shallow?

 

Are you concerned that your Son isn't being treated well when he's with his Dad?

 

My EXH has a Child with his GF... BUT I don't feel the need to be her Friend (then again, I don't feel the need to be HIS friend either ) The only thing I've ever told my EXH regarding his GF is this, She HAD better be cool to my kids when they are around... I actually tried to be cool to her (his GF) but she isn't all about so, so whatever....

 

When he (My EXH) got his GF pregnant, I didn't even know about it for the first 7 months... My oldest actually told me about it... and while I didn't care what he was doing it aggravated me that he didn't tell me because DUH it would effect the Wee Peeps he and I have together....

 

You don't have to give them a baby shower or a gift, you don't have to ask how she is or how the new baby is doing when he/she arrives.... don't expect so much of yourself here.... as long as your EX is doing the right things for the Son the 2 of you share, let the rest go.

[whichwayisup]

And I just can not cheer up to be her friend or bless their new coming baby. There is no way. Am I too shallow?

 

You don't have to be her friend. Don't put that expectation on you! I hope your EX isn't asking you to be friends with her.

 

You're not shallow, but wish them well anyway! You don't have to "mean" it but for your child's sake, it would be the right thing to do.

 

My suggestion is treat her like a co-worker you don't like. They're there and you have to deal with them so don't be personable and stick to what is necessary to talk about.

 

Hope this helps!