Gerard Posted November 20, 2018 Posted November 20, 2018 (edited) Why would a woman who is married, has three kids 8-12, who's husband has cheated on her at least once; let me become close to her...allow me to fall deeply in love her...read literally HUNDREDS of notes, emails and letters that i gave her over the course of three years...tell me that she liked being told that she was beautiful and that she was loved...said that she knew I could give her more than her husband could...tell me that she cared for me and wanted to hear my life's story............ Very slowly shut me out of her life BECAUSE I say I love her? To the point that she won't even look at me. (Yeah! I know! Crazy sounding!) Edited November 20, 2018 by Gerard
BaileyB Posted November 20, 2018 Posted November 20, 2018 I think the better question to ask is... Why were you sending literally HUNDREDS of notes, emails and letters over the course of three years to a married woman - such that you fell deeply in love with a woman who is not available to be in a relationship with you? 3
somanymistakes Posted November 20, 2018 Posted November 20, 2018 Lots of reasons. The top of which probably being that she doesn't want to leave her marriage. Welcome to the joys of being an OW/OM.
BaileyB Posted November 20, 2018 Posted November 20, 2018 Lots of reasons. The top of which probably being that she doesn't want to leave her marriage. Absolutely. I think the answer is in your first sentence - she has three kids 8-12. It takes an awful lot sometimes for a woman with children to leave a marriage when she has dependent children.
FMW Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 She wants the attention and ego strokes, but has no intention of leaving her marriage. If she starts feeling a little pressure from you (you telling her you love her), she'll disappear. No mystery. No good will come of it. Leave it alone. 1
Mr. Lucky Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 I think the better question to ask is... Why were you sending literally HUNDREDS of notes, emails and letters over the course of three years to a married woman - such that you fell deeply in love with a woman who is not available to be in a relationship with you? Well said. Gerard, as long as there's people willing to be used, there will be those willing to use them... Mr. Lucky 1
5x5 Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 Why would a woman who is married, has three kids 8-12, who's husband has cheated on her at least once; let me become close to her...allow me to fall deeply in love her...read literally HUNDREDS of notes, emails and letters that i gave her over the course of three years...tell me that she liked being told that she was beautiful and that she was loved...said that she knew I could give her more than her husband could...tell me that she cared for me and wanted to hear my life's story............ Very slowly shut me out of her life BECAUSE I say I love her? To the point that she won't even look at me. (Yeah! I know! Crazy sounding!) Well if you're determined to interminably bash your own head against a wall. You could save yourself some effort and at least remove the middle woman from your activity.
basil67 Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 You're speaking as if she has control over your emotions.
carhill Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 Welcome to LS... People use each other all the time, not just married people. Did she send you any notes/letters/cards/e-mails? If so, print them out and send them to her husband. Works great.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 She liked the attention but had no intention of breaking up her family. 1
Garcon1986 Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 Some people get a rise or a rush out of doing this. It's that simple. You have to ask yourself if this is the long term relationship you want.
Gretchen12 Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 When you said you love her, she started to fear you will do something crazy like contact her husband and tell all.
Lotus_Luna Posted November 21, 2018 Posted November 21, 2018 My dear friend chose her alcoholic, sex addicted and abusive husband. She had an amazing man who would have been a fantastic partner and father figure willing to be with her. Instead she choose the one man who abused her for years. Trauma Bonding is a deep and painful thing. She couldn’t let him go and guess what? SHE STILL ISNT HAPPY! And she never will be with him. But she’s too broken to leave and uses the kids as an excuse.
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