smile95 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Ok so I have these moments where I miss him so much and just want him to call and that way I will know he is still thinking of me...... Then I have moments that I think "wow-this is really over and and I am still living without him!" My moods seriuosly can go from so happy to so hurt within a matter of hrs. I honestly do NOT want to think about this anymore! I do not know how to stop? Is there any kind of ceremony that could help me??? Don't laugh....lol. I have read where you can burn his pictures or light candles and kinda meditate and just think striaght and get it in your head it is over. I am looking for anything....15 days of NC and I was stronger in the beginning. I think becasue I know he will call and I tend to let my thinking drift back to him maybe calling an things working out. SOmehow the fact that he treated me like crap fades??? I am trying to stay busy and go out and read, but he still pops up. Maybe more time will help?
lindya Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 I am trying to stay busy and go out and read, but he still pops up. Maybe more time will help? Yes - time will certainly help. So will getting out and learning a new sport. Something that requires a combination of concentration and physical effort...and will get the endorphins pumping round your bod. Also, as you go about your daily routine, make a point of noticing any attractive men whose routine co-incides with yours. The more the merrier. Brighten up your day with these characters, and develop a variety of harmless little crushes on - and fantasies about - them. Don't focus on one particular person...make sure there's a few of them as it won't be particularly might not be healthy or helpful to transfer all these feelings you have for your ex on one particular "desired object". You've focused so much on this guy already, and I'm not convinced that photograph-burning sessions will be overly helpful. It's just more valuable time wasted on focusing on the hurt all this has been causing you. Every time you think about Mr Ex, whether it's positive or negative thoughts, you're re-inforcing the sense that he's still part of your life. There is no sudden blinding moment of Closure in these matters. The spark just dwindles gradually. It comes back blindingly every so often...those moments you have an irresistible sense of "I must call him" or "it's unfinished business". As you're learning, those moments DO pass provided you don't act on them. The spark dwindles again...and eventually it goes out altogether. It will happen - I promise you
Author smile95 Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 Thanks....I needed to hear that. As long as I know more time will help, I think I am going to be ok. I let the urge pass and it helps to not act on it. I guess I do need to start looking at others.....I am so used to not looking! lol I just kinda get upset when I think that I may never talk to this man again.......and I did nothing wrong? Thanks again. At least I know that I just may need some more contact free time
sundrop Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Beth, If you figure this out, let me know, we can bottle it and make millions. If you call him, I will track you down and kick your tail.... Look how far you have come and tell me you are not being strong. He is a drug and addiction, you have to break the addiction. It's hard. It's normal to have these thoughts. I cried over my ex Saturday night, listening to a song, and today I am mad at him, but it's normal and part of the healing process. We just have to ride the waves, until the sea calms. And beleive what I aid about me kicking your tell, if you call him.
Author smile95 Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 sundrop....if it were anyone else.....I would not beliee that you would hunt me down and kick my tail.....however you live 30 minutes away!!! lol It is reassuring to know that ups and downs are normal and I cannot just give into them when they happen. Just wish I would have more strong days than sad! Giving in would be the worst thing I could do right now. It would tell him that I still wanted him and that he can do anything to me and I come back. I feel better already.....I guess that is what I need to do when I feel the urge....just write to all the people here! Sundrop...have you kept NC since the family 911?
sundrop Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Beth, You just remember I live within butt kicking distance, when you want to contact him. I wish I had more better days too, sometimes I just feel as though I am stumbeling through. I haven't talked to him since the family emergancy that day. My grandfather fell last week and broke his hip and he doesn't know hat. I haven't even texted him or anything over that. I'm not sure if you read my recent post, was posted last week about him contacting my best friend, if not send me a private message and will fill you in on the deltails. So wit that going on, I'm mad at him right now and have no interest in calling him, but this is how I feel today, tomorrow may be different. STAY STRONG...
Author smile95 Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 I did read that post and I am proud of you for not calling him. He prob is just wondering why you are no longer chasing him anymore. He is noticing and that is good! I am sure my ex will notice one day soon that I am not chasing either. I get sad sometime thinking he will not even think of me again and move on...but then I remember how he works and I think his curiosity will force him to call me one day....one day far away I hope when I am well over him. I just feel like I am still hoping for the besty like always and I cannot anymore. I need to see that I was miserablw with him. It is not registering!
sundrop Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Well we will all remind you how miserable you were, have all this anguish you are having to go through and it's not worth it. I was coming home from my brothers today, he lives in MD, and I have 8 hours to think. So I got mad. But I thought ore about how I have to beleive that there is something out there that is going to be better, as good as I thought things were with my ex, there is going to be something better, or he has A LOT of stepping up to do, and A LOT of explaining of his last weeks actions. I'm trying to let go, Ride my waves of emotions, and just go on. It hasn't killed me yet, so I will keep going, just as you will. And my ex is thinking of me for all the wrong reasons, so it actually is maing things on me worse and more stressful, so right now I would rather him not.
sundrop Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Hey Beth, Also, write down ALL the quailties you want in a MAN..... And hold yourself true to those qualities, only except that person who will step up to the plate. I did this the other night while at my brothers, cause I was feeling lonely. ANd I noticed that my ex didn't met two of those quailities and until he does, I don't need him. I deserve better and so do you, and keep telling yourself that.
Author smile95 Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 I will try that. Whoever I end up with is going to have it easy! All he will have to do is call me 1 time a week and he will be ahead of the game! sad huh? Good idea though. I am with ya.....just riding the waves....I am still kicking without him in my life too.....
sundrop Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 You need to find someone here local, who will come over at least once a week and tell you what a wonderful person you are and how lucky there are to have a great person like yourself. PERIOD... Girl, we are kicking and paddleing the waves together.
Recommended Posts