mjt12 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Hey all! My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. I went thru phases of being friendly with him and then NC. Right now we are speaking again and seeing what happens. Here is the deal. He is 21 and I am 27, he tells me that he loves me and knows that he is going to be with me and just needs me to be patient with him because he is scared.( Mostly because he is young and doesnt feel like he can live up to a 27 year olds idea of a relationship) I love him very much. I want to make this work between us. However, the "I need time" thing is making me crazy, it is turning me into this person that I dont want to be, constantly nagging at him and questioning him about everything which in turn is pushing him further away. So what should I do? Play hard to get? Act like I dont want him. I am not one for games, but I do want him to realize what the hell he wants. Thanks very much to any one who responds.
alphamale Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 . So what should I do? Find a real man who is 4 or 5 yrs older than you are and prefererrably more mature than your 21 yr old dude. That's the only solution
Taby Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 well sorry alphamale i can't agree with you there. i am 27, i have a 33 year old man and sometimes i'd think he was 19. there has to be another solution... seriously mjt12, if i were you i'd call him and i'd tell him just what you told us... "I love you very much. I want to make this work between us. However, the "I need time" thing is making me crazy, it is turning me into this person that I dont want to be" if this guy loves you and wants to be with you, he'll conquer his fears with you...
cosis Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Hey all! My ex and I broke up about 4 months ago. I went thru phases of being friendly with him and then NC. Right now we are speaking again and seeing what happens. Here is the deal. He is 21 and I am 27, he tells me that he loves me and knows that he is going to be with me and just needs me to be patient with him because he is scared.( Mostly because he is young and doesnt feel like he can live up to a 27 year olds idea of a relationship) I love him very much. I want to make this work between us. However, the "I need time" thing is making me crazy, it is turning me into this person that I dont want to be, constantly nagging at him and questioning him about everything which in turn is pushing him further away. So what should I do? Play hard to get? Act like I dont want him. I am not one for games, but I do want him to realize what the hell he wants. Thanks very much to any one who responds. the age difference might be some concern, he is young and probably wants to experience around before being in a serious relationship. all i can say is DO NOT nag him. it shows desperation which is a big turn-off. doing what you 'feel' usually will get you nowhere. play it cool, be patient, date around......
Author mjt12 Posted September 14, 2005 Author Posted September 14, 2005 Thank you guys so much for the response. I am trying to go against all of my desires to just flip out. I have told him that I love him very much and cant deal with all of this, and he said " I know I am going to be with you, can you just be patient?" So, I guess thats what I will do, be patient, dont nag, date around and just play it cool. Hopefully that will kick start something.
Author mjt12 Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 So I see my ex last night so we can talk about our situation and he tells me that he is "confused" that "some days he feels like he is ready to settle down but other days he isnt" and then that "it isnt fair to ask me to be patient because he doesnt know when he will be ready" and that he really wants to stay friends with me. Why are men like this?? I know that he loves me, so why is he so afraid to be with me? I dont know what to do, please help me:(
cosis Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 So I see my ex last night so we can talk about our situation and he tells me that he is "confused" that "some days he feels like he is ready to settle down but other days he isnt" and then that "it isnt fair to ask me to be patient because he doesnt know when he will be ready" and that he really wants to stay friends with me. Why are men like this?? I know that he loves me, so why is he so afraid to be with me? I dont know what to do, please help me:( I thought you said you were going to be patient yesterday? It is way to early to talk about this with him. He needs the space and you have to give it to him as hard as it's going to be.
Author mjt12 Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 He brought it up not me, I wasnt going to ignore it. I just dont want to be given the impression that someday we will get back together and then the next day be told that he doesnt know what he wants to do. So the solution is, I make the decision to be done with him and thats what Im gonna do
Recommended Posts