What do y'all think about this?

[nosybear819]

You know how there are those men/women who think they can conquer a gay person? What about conquer (am I spelling that correctly?) a racist person?

 

I don't know for sure for sure if this guy is a racist you know but he's a guest at the place where I work,he's a white guy from Texas and I overheard him making some dumb jokes about mexicans and I thought wow what an a** then later he kept making reference to 8 mile and was asking do I hang out on 8 mile. Anyway so he's kinda being a jerk but I'm letting him talk to me and I noticed that everything was about race. he had to make mention of what race everyone was that he talked about...the mexican woman, the black guy. the arabic person, the white girl...I said wow you're awful hung up on race aren't you do you know how to speak normally? Then I ended the convo 'cuz I felt myself about to have a few words with him, you know? So he left went and did whatever but came back later in the night

 

When he came in I said "Oh, it's you what do you want?" He asked why I was being rude like that and I said "well you don't seem like the nicest person that's all" He acted like he'd never heard someone say that to him and apologized if he came off the wrong way earlier stuck around and talked to me for the next couple hours and then before he left back out he said he thought that I was a nice person, intelligent, pretty etc., etc., etc. and asked if he could take me out before he went back home.

 

He seems to be an alright guy but I know if he's making jokes like that about mexicans I bet he's got jokes for every race and was holding out on the black jokes in my presence. I always feel that if I meet someone who thinks that way that I can show them the stereotype they have isn't true. Maybe he'll go back to Texas and say wow I went to michigan and I met a black girl who doesn't live in detroit and is this and that and not at all how we accuse black people of being. Sometimes people are racist because they just don't know.

 

So I'm not trying to start a big race war I just simply want to know what you think - can you conquer a racist? should I accept this invitation or do you think he'll skin me?

[morrigan]

If you really want to go out and have fun on a date go ahead, I wouldn't see a serious relationship developing out of it though. It would take a lot of time and understanding on his part for him to change the way he sees other races or biracial relationships--he sounds way too hung up on the whole subject.

 

I grew up in a rural area and there were people (and their parents) who thought this same way--and you're not ever going to be able to open the minds of someone's family members or friends. However, it does work both ways--a black friend of mine dated white women and was criticised by a few of his friends for doing so. You can't convert anyone, it's up to them.

[nosybear819]

No I'm not trying to consider dating this guy at all I'm thinking more like just being friends and by getting to know me can maybe persuade his beliefs. But am I weird for thinking like that or what?

[Leikela]

In my opinion, people usually will not change life long beliefs that they were raised with. Being friends with the guy isn't a problem but please don't expect to change him at all. It would take a lot more then you just being his friend in order for him to falter at all on his mindset.

[TGIF]

Its difficult to tell if a person is really a racist by some jokes or how he decribes people. if you deal with a mexican woman, whats wrong with saying, "I was talking to this mexican woman,etc..." Thats a fact isnt it? isnt that a true description of her? i see on comedy central that all the "so called" great comedians always use race in their acts---they are pushing the social barriers, and laugh about it. they crack on everybody! Look at BET if you wan to hear some really good black jokes.

 

thats not saying that jokes cant be tasteless and inapropriate at times. if this guy was a true racist, he wouldnt have cared if you heard any black jokes, and wouldnt have with held them from your earshot. in fact, he would have probably wanted you to hear them.

 

Some people are more sensitive in this area than others, both in the receiving and dealing ends. Sometimes i think that people dont need sensitivity training, but rather desensitivity training. It must bother him that you think he is not a nice person. if he was a true racist, he wouldnt give a damn what you think. you just have to judge him by what he does. I think its a waste of time fo ryou just to get to know him to try and change him, if indeed you already have a preconception about him. just ignore him and let him go on his way.

 

racist is an overused term, and their are enuf racism pimps inthis country who use it to every political advantage. they are the true racist, who see everyone and everything in black and white.

 

In fact, you described him as "a WHITE guy " from texas....... think that he would think you have a problem with him being white?

[gigilani]

I would say he's racially insensitive, not neccesarily racist. If he was truly racist, he wouldn't have asked you out. Apperantly in his evironment it is ok to talk like that & yes, I agree that he is cracking black jokes as well. You said he was taken aback that you found his comments offensive, that right there tells you that he thinks that his statements are the norm. Evidently you are the first to say otherwise. Totally disagree w/tgif. Racists are generally cowards, most would not dare to make comments directly at someone. Nowadays racists are more covert than overt. It may help for you to talk to him. I've had several friends that I had to "educate" and "englighten" . You can't fix something that you don't know is broken.

[tgif]

gigilani, obviously you havent seen any alabama or mississippi racist!!!! Go to certain places there and they will make it VERY plain to anyone what their opinions are. i agree that most are cowards, but i guarantee you they wouldnt care what she thinks about them being bad people. You are probably dealing with yankee racists, as in business or such, who talk the talk about equal opportunity, but not in their backyards.

 

this guy seems to care, and he might not realize his actions may offend someone. Still seems like a waste of time to even mess with him--not a lot to gain.

[nosybear819]

... if you deal with a mexican woman, whats wrong with saying, "I was talking to this mexican woman,etc..." Thats a fact isnt it? isnt that a true description of her? i see on comedy central that all the "so called" great comedians always use race in their acts

 

TGIF I don't agree with you here - this guy wasn't on comedy central tho' he was just making chit-chat with me. I dunno about you but when I talk to a person if they make mention of race a lot I assume they have a problem with it. A persons race is usually totally irrelevent to most stories. For example when I referred to him as a white guy from Texas that's because I thought it was pretty relevent in telling my story, don't you? Maybe racist was too strong of a word for me to use..I dunno how else to describe the guy tho'. As for his jokes I thought he was surprised by my reaction because maybe his peers think his jokes are funny.

 

Um....as me for being "sensitive" about race issues you're wrong again. I've been called every name in the book concerning race I never take any of it to heart FYI I'm not easily offended. I found his jokes distasteful that's all.

 

I wanted to know what everyone thought about the situation I'm not trying to change his world I guess I was mostly wondering if it'd be weird to become friends with this guy...not solely because of his views on race..once you get past all his dumb jokes he's kind of a decent guy.

[tgif]

and why is your "white " statement relevant here?? i dont need to know that to discuss a racist. they come in all colors and races. Do you think that needed to be said because most racists are white? or just white boys from texas?? Maybe your need for relavance in a conversation is different from his---he may feel that identifying people in this matter is relevant in his mind.

 

believe it or not, most jokes are not told on comedy central, and many heard there are often repeated. . you seem to imply that BET or comedy central has some sort of right to "Insult" your sensitivities, but someone in person does not. i guess its ok for richard pryor to tell a black joke, or steve harvey, chris rock, etc. but not someone of a different color.

you immediately suspected him of being a racist, and now you are not really sure.

 

You are not "sensitive" to this?? i guess you're black, and you imply that a White guy from texas "probably tells black jokes because he has told a few mexican jokes, which dont even effect you. you assume he is doing it. and your not sensitive? distasteful jokes dont make one a racist. I guess that every comedian that tells a jewish joke is a nazi?

 

 

i guess you figure i'm a racist --- but I am black. i am just tired of people overusing this word in normal parlance. its a sword that is drawn so often that its effect is minimal. its like calling someone a child molester--you should really be sure about it before you do it. if you dont know what else to call him, or describe him, use a friggin thesaurus before you break out the race card.

[nosybear819]

:lmao: :lmao:

 

Ok I give up you're right...relax.

 

Don't get yourself so worked up it's not good for you.