Keeping Dates Short

[grays]

I'm single now and not in a big hurry to get into a relationship but if it happens naturally without any pressure on my end then fine.

 

What you’re talking about — 30 min, hand shake, thank you for your time — is not letting it happen naturally. If you don’t want a girlfriend or a fwb, this’ll work great. But I’m not sure why you’d want all your dates to be 30 min, handshake, thank you for your time dates. You will certainly not get any second dates that way.

[elaine567]

I have a feeling Larry is not here FOR advice, he is here to GIVE us all advice

[hippychick3]

Never said I wanted to be single. I just believe in trying to make the best out of whatever position I end up in as there are no guarantees in life. I'm single now and not in a big hurry to get into a relationship but if it happens naturally without any pressure on my end then fine.

 

I am sure some married folks have moments when they wish they could be single but it's too late. They have responsibilities they can't avoid so they learn to make the best of their situation.

 

What we are all trying to explain to you is that it will NOT happen naturally, unnaturally, or any other way with your approach. Your approach is a deterrent to getting into a relationship now or in the future.

[Lotsgoingon]

Look, if you're out with someone and the energy is fantastic ... you're interested in what they're saying, you like their voice, you sense they are interested in you ... you enjoy looking at their face or you laugh ... dude, extend that past 30 minutes!

 

And at the end, you want to say, "that was great. How about we meet up again soon."

 

"Thanks for your time." Dude, that's seriously cold and seriously distant. Sounds like you are a marketing representative who just finished interviewing a consumer about laundry detergent choices.

 

If you enjoyed the person, you want to say that ... And a second or third date is when things start to fall into place if there is real potential ... If you guys are into each other, those dates often go long--without even forcing it. And those dates often go deeper as well.

 

Your timetable is quite unique brother.

[basil67]

Larry, do you actually have a question or desire feedback? Because it doesn't sound that way. If you're confident with your moves and are having good dating success, just run with it.

[Lotsgoingon]

I'll echo Bailey.

 

Your system strikes me as unusual ... but if it helps you stay balanced and not needy ... and helps you to slow down in a good way, go for it!!!!

[ExpatInItaly]

Larry, do you actually have a question or desire feedback? Because it doesn't sound that way. If you're confident with your moves and are having good dating success, just run with it.

 

Me thinks Larry might be trying to write a dating guide or blog and is test-marketing his "strategies" here.

[Logo]

All these numbers give me the impression you're trying to give your car a tune up.

[lavenderandvelvet]

So my friend was telling me about her friend scheduled 15 minue dates with multiple guys on the same night. She’d schedule the one she was most excited for last so it could extend.

 

She was seriouslt dedicated. But I guess it “worked.”. 2 months later she found “the one.”. Two,years later she is engaged.

[guest569]

So my friend was telling me about her friend scheduled 15 minue dates with multiple guys on the same night. She’d schedule the one she was most excited for last so it could extend.

 

She was seriouslt dedicated. But I guess it “worked.”. 2 months later she found “the one.”. Two,years later she is engaged.

 

Wow, how many dates would she have typically scheduled back to back? Speed dating but the guys don't know that. That would feel so wrong to me. So repetitive. I need to take my time chatting to him and go away and think about it, see him again.. Having tonnes of guys on the go will be overwhelming. Its cool that it worked for her though!

[Logo]

So my friend was telling me about her friend scheduled 15 minue dates with multiple guys on the same night. She’d schedule the one she was most excited for last so it could extend.

 

She was seriouslt dedicated. But I guess it “worked.”. 2 months later she found “the one.”. Two,years later she is engaged.

 

 

 

 

Serious question: How long have they been engaged? How does she know it's "The one"?

 

 

 

Not serious question: Did she use Scantron forms to weed them out?

[lavenderandvelvet]

Wow, how many dates would she have typically scheduled back to back? Speed dating but the guys don't know that. That would feel so wrong to me. So repetitive. I need to take my time chatting to him and go away and think about it, see him again.. Having tonnes of guys on the go will be overwhelming. Its cool that it worked for her though!

 

3-4 per night.

 

She’d pick a street with a few bars on it and tell the guy up front all first dates are 15 minuts only.

 

Serious question: How long have they been engaged? How does she know it's "The one"?

 

She moved in with him Jan/Feb of this year and the engagement is like 1-2 months old. It is a friend of a friend I have only met twice or so. But to be honest, in the quick inteaction with the two lf them I didn’t see it. Both are pretty attractive so maybe they are both blinded by appearance. I had drinks with the two of them once.

 

Not serious question: Did she use Scantron forms to weed them out?

 

Hehe, there must be a spreadsheet too.

[Logo]

I have heard stories from the baby-boomer generation who had dated for two weeks before they got married back in the day.

 

 

But in this day and age, I'd have to be in an exclusive relationship for at least 2 years before I know that she's the one.

 

 

 

You think you know someone, but you really don't. Worse yet, sometimes you think the problem is a tiny little piece of ice floating in the ocean, but later you find out it's part of an iceberg.

[Mysterio]

My take on three first dates.

 

A one hour Lunch on a Sat/Sun. A hug at most.

 

Date 2. Some activity with a lunch at the end.

 

Date 3. You both should know if there is longevity.

 

I will say this. The more leg work I have to do. The less I will be interested in the woman.

[Mysterio]

My take again to get engaged and married. My family which is my Father/Mother/Brother, would have to be raving about her. Also some of my close friends. Especially my close friend MK and his wife JK.

 

2 yrs as a couple. No bio kids between us. No living together until Yr 2/engagement.

 

I can't even see speeding it up. She would have to be so great to me before I could see a LTR between us to make a go of it. So once again its like this for me.

 

Meet Jan 2019. Engaged at the Earliest-Dec 2020. Married Fall of 2021 or 2022. So for me that means married at age 51-ish. If we have kids. It would be 2023 or letting it happen after that.

 

I envision a great woman for myself. She treats me well and I don't have to work it so much. I have seen some of my male friends with great women and I can't have less than that.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Mysterio

[basil67]

My take again to get engaged and married. My family which is my Father/Mother/Brother, would have to be raving about her. Also some of my close friends. Especially my close friend MK and his wife JK.

 

2 yrs as a couple. No bio kids between us. No living together until Yr 2/engagement.

 

I can't even see speeding it up. She would have to be so great to me before I could see a LTR between us to make a go of it. So once again its like this for me.

 

Meet Jan 2019. Engaged at the Earliest-Dec 2020. Married Fall of 2021 or 2022. So for me that means married at age 51-ish. If we have kids. It would be 2023 or letting it happen after that.

 

I envision a great woman for myself. She treats me well and I don't have to work it so much. I have seen some of my male friends with great women and I can't have less than that.

 

Married when you are 51ish. I assume that children are out of the question for your bride to be.... How is this working out for you?