Waiting a Week To Call

[hippychick3]

I think what ultimately matters is how I treat her during the date. Quality of the date is important. As long as I open the door for her and wait for her to take the first bite of her food before I dig in to my food and I don't bring up heavy subjects and ask her questions on what she is talking about and letting her talk 70% of the time then that's what matters. If we don't have chemistry then we didn't waste much time. If we do have chemistry then I can always ask for a 2nd date.

 

That's not all that matters, Larry. No matter how well the date goes, a woman will lose interest and move on if she feels the guy isn't interested in her. Even if there's chemistry, most women will just move on to the next guy who shows interest if you wait too long to call. You're gonna miss out.

[Simple Logic]

If you saw a really cool car you wanted to buy, would you wait 7-10 days before you called so someone else could buy it?

[FMW]

Larry, you need to spend your time actually in conversations with women (if not actually dating) instead of coming up with these rules.

 

If you're posting here to actually get feedback and suggestions, and not just be weirdly proud of your rules, then you should have gotten the drift now from the responses of actual women.

[BaileyB]

As much as I appreciate your attempt to study and understand "the rules" of dating, you must understand that relationships are not black and white. Nothing in life is this concrete.

 

People are not predictable, which means that your rules and preconceived notions of what women want or what you should do when dating are not going to be successful. You would be better served to ask a woman out and get some practice - being open minded, adaptable, and responsive to their partner when dating.

[Cersei]

Don't wait 7 days. I know I would forget what you even looked like by then.

[hippychick3]

Don't wait 7 days. I know I would forget what you even looked like by then.

 

Yes, and I would have probably gone on 3 other dates by then

[Veronica73]

I think what ultimately matters is how I treat her during the date. Quality of the date is important. As long as ...wait for her to take the first bite of her food before I dig in to my food and I don't bring up heavy subjects and ask her questions on what she is talking about and letting her talk 70% of the time then that's what matters.

 

I had no idea that waiting for the woman to take the first bite of food was a thing. That was *completely* off my radar.

 

Also... I’m sure I’m not the type of woman you are looking for... but I would definitely NOT want to talk for 70% of the time. I’m an introvert so I wouldn’t want to talk for more than 50% of the time (most likely less).

[basil67]

I didn't know about waiting for the lady to take the first bite so I googled it. It's a thing! Table and Restaurant Manners - Essential Tips

 

Most of these suggestions would drive me nutty with a partner. Apparently I don't get any say in what wine is ordered

[LoverOfDance]

Larry, these rules of yours are honestly and genuinely dreadful.

 

My bf from day one has not hidden his feelings from me. Every step of the way, he has shown me how he feels. Before me, there were girls who treated him badly and girls who weren't very interested. Some men would have become jaded after similar experiences or would have made up rules like you have done in order to avoid "wasting money" or getting hurt but i'm telling you, once you build walls around yourself by making up rules or playing games, YOU WILL MISS OUT on a lot of great women.

 

When you find someone you like, i mean really like - someone you have a good feeling about, you have to go for it. You can't hold back. This is how great relationships are formed. You have to show someone your heart and hope that they show you theirs back. You have to really try. You can't half ass it, which is pretty much what you are doing. You may not know it but you are making up all these rules because you are scared and also a little insecure as well.

 

If you really want to find someone you have to stop half assing things. You have to really try. Yes some people will hurt you but eventually someone will be amazed at your efforts and see them as strengths rather than weaknesses.

 

I really hope you stop making up all these rules because if you are trying to get to "loving relationship land", these rules will not take you there.

[Larry88]

I think the telephone brings alot of drama to dating. One of the disadvantages of this invention. Today the smartphones run our lives. 80% of the population is hooked on them and it ruins challenge in dating. I know some of you reading this are hooked on your smartphones. Don't pretend it hasn't sucked you in too. Even the President is probably hooked on his smartphone. Even cops and anyone else of any occupational background.

[Veronica73]

Thinking a week to 10 days is too long to wait to call a woman after you got her number has nothing to do with being addicted to one’s phone.

[Larry88]

Thinking a week to 10 days is too long to wait to call a woman after you got her number has nothing to do with being addicted to one’s phone.

 

Yes it does because some of us are not hooked and we have busy lives. I don't like feeling like an on call 24 hour paramedic with my phone. Back in the days when we only had home phones we could not be reached away from home. So we had an excuse not to be in contact as often.

 

Maybe during that week that I can't call I have a big work project that I'm busy concentrating on and won't have time to call until day 7. Then I have to help a friend move or I have to attend a business convention out of town.

Edited November 17, 2018 by Larry88

[hippychick3]

Yes it does because some of us are not hooked and we have busy lives. I don't like feeling like an on call 24 hour paramedic with my phone. Back in the days when we only had home phones we could not be reached away from home. So we had an excuse not to be in contact as often.

 

Maybe during that week that I can't call I have a big work project that I'm busy concentrating on and won't have time to call until day 7. Then I have to help a friend move or I have to attend a business convention out of town.

 

Good luck to you, Larry. Thanks for sharing your dating strategies. I hope you enjoy being single...

 

I’m out.

[LoverOfDance]

lol, Op, you're funny. The point is that you are playing games and adhering to pointless rules. You are NOT actually busy. If you were then the right thing to do would be simply to explain your situation to the woman so she doesn't wonder why you ignored her for 2 weeks and then suddenly out of the blue decided to say "what's up? So can we grab a drink or.....".

 

I don't know why you're making these threads but you seem bored. Seems like you're looking for entertainment or looking for someone to argue with. Good luck to other posters.

[basil67]

Yes it does because some of us are not hooked and we have busy lives. I don't like feeling like an on call 24 hour paramedic with my phone. Back in the days when we only had home phones we could not be reached away from home. So we had an excuse not to be in contact as often.

 

Maybe during that week that I can't call I have a big work project that I'm busy concentrating on and won't have time to call until day 7. Then I have to help a friend move or I have to attend a business convention out of town.

 

I'm old enough to have dated prior to smart phones and computers. Even back then a guy would call within a day or two. Your excuses of a big work project and helping a friend move - both then and now - would have told me that I'd be low on your priority list and not to bother.

[Chilli]

Just a whole lotta just more internet bs and games, and rules , l just mean wtf ???.

God l feel sorry for some of the poor lost souls out there or over there l should say.

 

Good luck with the text books and videos.

[lavenderandvelvet]

Don't wait 7 days. I know I would forget what you even looked like by then.

 

Exactly! 3 days might be too many depending on the week.

[guest569]

Sometimes you have to strike while the iron is hot.

 

Maybe 10days won't matter. But the reasoning behind this timeline is just bollocks.

[Logo]

There is no formula here. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Waiting 7 to 10 days to call someone doesn't raise your value or guarantee that someone is going to think, Oh he's not desperate. He must have dozens of women at his beck and call, I better go on a date with him fast.

 

 

 

If a woman thinks like that, she's not mature. I don't blame you though. There are a lot of women (and probably men) who think like that. They are usually under 30. They play these games because they have no idea what they're doing.

 

 

 

There used to be or there still is a rule among men, to wait three days before calling. I say, to heck with that rule. If she likes me, she'll appreciate me contacting her and showing interest. If she doesn't, there's no point in playing games.

 

 

 

If she thinks I'm desperate because I'm showing interest then she's not worth my time.

[ElKay]

The 3-4 day rule is way better in my opinion. For both myself and my friends, if a guy waits over a week, we assume that he's not interested and that we're at the bottom of his "to call" list.

We're all in serious long term relationships now (there's about 10 of us I can think of off the top of my head now).

 

I'm more curious where you got this logic or idea from. Just your own thoughts? Or did someone tell you this "theory"?

Edited November 17, 2018 by ElKay
Forgot to add question at the end of the post.