Waiting a Week To Call

[Larry88]

I think that after getting a woman's phone number it's best to wait 1 week before calling to ask her out. More specifically 7-10 days.

 

Here are some reasons for that. Number 1 I don't know her. She is a total stranger. There is no unspoken rule that says I must make it the highest priority to call her right away just because I asked for her number. I never make any promises about when I will call. I just thank her for giving me the number after I plug it in my phone.

 

Number 2 I get a better idea of her interest level in me. If she forgets about me after 1 week then I was never on her radar to begin with. If she is just lonely then she will go out with any guy who shows her attention. She won't wait a week.

 

Some will argue that if I wait a week then she will go out with other guys. Yeah and the chances of her going out with other guys are the same whether I call the next day or wait a week. Just because I call the next day and ask her out does not mean I have locked her down as my girlfriend. It is going to take much more than 1 date before she has any interest in being exclusive with me anyway.

 

I could call the next day and set the date for the following day and she is still going to accept dates from other guys later in the week after me and decide she likes the other dude better. If I'm not on her radar to begin with it is better I find that out before wasting time and money.

 

By waiting a week to call I get to weed those women out and save money. If there is a strategy to implement to find out the ones who are mot interested before wasting money then I will take advantage of that.

 

Furthermore if she's not into me then it is just as well that I'm not calling the next day because she is hoping I don't call. Her reaction when I call a week later tells me everything I need to know and then I can throw her number away.

 

When a woman hesitates before giving me her number I usually don't call at all because I'm already getting a vibe of low interest level. I throw the number away. I'd say about 10 out of every 20 phone numbers I get I will end up throwing away.

[olivetree]

You mention not wanting to call a woman who hesitates to give you her number because it seems like low interest.

 

That's exactly how I'd feel if a man waited 7-10 days to call me.

That he's low interest.

So I'd feel less interested too.

[Mrs._December]

You've got an awful lot of silly rules you've been posting here - your guide for when to call someone, your guide for how long a 1st, 2nd and 3rd date should be.

 

You're still single, ain't ya?

[PRW]

So, you're trying to validate what a dating coach is telling you.

 

Like your other similar post,...I agree with the principles, but not the "hard" numbers.

 

Waiting a week after getting the number is probably too long. She'll probably just think you are a dick, or that you just don't have the guts to contact her while you dither around at home trying to get up the courage to do it. She may just also think you aren't that interested.

 

Waiting a couple days is fine. It let's the needy guys take their shot first and bomb, then it sets you apart from them.

[Larry88]

You've got an awful lot of silly rules you've been posting here - your guide for when to call someone, your guide for how long a 1st, 2nd and 3rd date should be.

 

You're still single, ain't ya?

 

Still single but I know how to weed out the ones who don't dig me and the users.

 

Being single is the lesser of 2 evils compared to having a girlfriend who is with me for the wrong reasons.

 

I think 90% of guys can get a girlfriend but the more important question is why is she with him? Some women will even marry a guy they are not in love with if they are lonely.

[d0nnivain]

Slow is fine, to a point. 7 days is too long. In this day & age of instant everything if you wait a whole week the other person will think you are not really interested & that you only called because they were the back up plan.

 

Would you consider a compromise? You call within 48-73 hours of meeting but you plan the 1st date for about a 5-7 days in the future, after the call. Especially for your 1st coffee date that you prefer to be only about 30 minutes, in a public place you should be on more solid ground then your initial idea which is too long.

[hippychick3]

So, how is that working for ya?

[Ruby Slippers]

If a man fails to act fast, I lose all interest in him, delete and move on.

[Gretchen12]

Sure, go ahead, do that.

[guest569]

Lovely essay but you haven't convinced me that 7-10 days before calling makes any difference in weeding out women who are low interest. So after 10 days, when do you schedule the date? The same day? Another week away? Next month?

[Larry88]

Lovely essay but you haven't convinced me that 7-10 days before calling makes any difference in weeding out women who are low interest. So after 10 days, when do you schedule the date? The same day? Another week away? Next month?

 

I schedule the date 5-10 days out at the earliest mainly out of courtesy. I think it is rude to not give advance notice. I could set it 15 days out if I wanted to but I think 5-10 days is enough time to allow her to plan accordingly and if she has to reschedule no big deal. As long as she proposes an alternate day and time then it is not a red flag.

[d0nnivain]

Notice & planning are good things. Just make that initial phone call a bit sooner.

[ExpatInItaly]

All these bizarre rules you have been posting are going to keep you single. They're going to "weed out," well, everyone.

[guest569]

I schedule the date 5-10 days out at the earliest mainly out of courtesy. I think it is rude to not give advance notice. I could set it 15 days out if I wanted to but I think 5-10 days is enough time to allow her to plan accordingly and if she has to reschedule no big deal. As long as she proposes an alternate day and time then it is not a red flag.

 

That is something we agree on! I don’t think I would mind if a guy waited a week to call but if it was longer than that I would assume he was seeing someone else and... low interest. But if he knew he was deliberately waiting 7-10 days i would not be impressed and assume he is a game player. I hate games. Just be real and call when you’re ready.

[Veronica73]

You mention not wanting to call a woman who hesitates to give you her number because it seems like low interest.

 

That's exactly how I'd feel if a man waited 7-10 days to call me.

That he's low interest.

So I'd feel less interested too.

 

This is exactly how I’d feel too.

[BaileyB]

I get a better idea of her interest level in me.

 

It will also give her a pretty good idea of your interest level as well...

[basil67]

He waits 10 days? NEXT!

[Larry88]

It will also give her a pretty good idea of your interest level as well...

 

Possibly but her interest level is slightly more important than mine for various reasons. Women are going to do what they want when they want to and with whom they want to. Ultimately women do the choosing. If she does not dig me then my interest level is irrelevant. I know what my interest level is already otherwise I wouldn't have asked for her number.

[BaileyB]

Possibly but her interest level is slightly more important than mine for various reasons. Women are going to do what they want when they want to and with whom they want to. Ultimately women do the choosing. If she does not dig me then my interest level is irrelevant. I know what my interest level is already otherwise I wouldn't have asked for her number.

 

You may have asked for my number, but you are not going to get a date if you wait 10 days to call... I don't play those kind of games.

 

A mature man will be direct and confident in making his intentions known.

[hippychick3]

Possibly but her interest level is slightly more important than mine for various reasons. Women are going to do what they want when they want to and with whom they want to. Ultimately women do the choosing. If she does not dig me then my interest level is irrelevant. I know what my interest level is already otherwise I wouldn't have asked for her number.

 

The problem is that if she DOES dig you, she will no longer dig you when you wait too long to call. There's no attachment this early on, only attraction/interest. A confident and secure woman will not maintain that attraction/interest towards a man who seems disinterested.

 

So essentially you're weeding out everyone.

[guest569]

Possibly but her interest level is slightly more important than mine for various reasons. Women are going to do what they want when they want to and with whom they want to. Ultimately women do the choosing. If she does not dig me then my interest level is irrelevant. I know what my interest level is already otherwise I wouldn't have asked for her number.

 

Does she have your number? She can’t choose you as the ball is in your court. You’re choosing her. She has no ability to show her interest because she can’t contact you. You ask her out, she says yes, interest is mutual. She says no, it’s not mutual. Waiting a week won’t make a difference unless she has lost interest by then as she assumed you’re a player who asks tonnes of women for numbers.

[Larry88]

Does she have your number? She can’t choose you as the ball is in your court. You’re choosing her. She has no ability to show her interest because she can’t contact you. You ask her out, she says yes, interest is mutual. She says no, it’s not mutual. Waiting a week won’t make a difference unless she has lost interest by then as she assumed you’re a player who asks tonnes of women for numbers.

 

 

 

Ok she might be dating multiple guys at once. We don't know. That won't make a difference in when I call. She's not my girlfriend so she can go out with as many guys as she wants and I can gather phone numbers too. I'm not expecter to put all my eggs in one basket until she asks me to be her boyfriend.

[guest569]

Ok she might be dating multiple guys at once. We don't know. That won't make a difference in when I call. She's not my girlfriend so she can go out with as many guys as she wants and I can gather phone numbers too. I'm not expecter to put all my eggs in one basket until she asks me to be her boyfriend.

 

Yeah. But if you’re actually interested then you should pursue her. Does next day, 7 or 10 says really increase the odds that much that she has gone and got hitched? No. But it will make her wonder why you took so long and get bored.

[basil67]

Ok she might be dating multiple guys at once. We don't know. That won't make a difference in when I call. She's not my girlfriend so she can go out with as many guys as she wants and I can gather phone numbers too. I'm not expecter to put all my eggs in one basket until she asks me to be her boyfriend.

 

Why is this a discussion? If it's a great idea and is working for you then run with it.

[Larry88]

The problem is that if she DOES dig you, she will no longer dig you when you wait too long to call. There's no attachment this early on, only attraction/interest. A confident and secure woman will not maintain that attraction/interest towards a man who seems disinterested.

 

So essentially you're weeding out everyone.

 

I think what ultimately matters is how I treat her during the date. Quality of the date is important. As long as I open the door for her and wait for her to take the first bite of her food before I dig in to my food and I don't bring up heavy subjects and ask her questions on what she is talking about and letting her talk 70% of the time then that's what matters. If we don't have chemistry then we didn't waste much time. If we do have chemistry then I can always ask for a 2nd date.