divegrl Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 Hi! So there’s this guy who lives in my neighborhood. Over the past couple of months we have gotten to know each other. Our dogs and kids play together. He seems like a really nice genuine man. He has bought my girls gifts and always comes over to say hi and talk with us. When we talk he seems nervous and shy. I think he is interested, but he has not asked me out. Every time I talk with him I smile. Ask him questions. I am extremely nice to him. So what do you think? Is he interested and just shy? Or is he just being nice? Thank you so much for your advice. Have a beautiful day!
BaileyB Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 It’s impossible for anyone to know with certainty if he’s interested... But, if you are interested... I think you should invite him and his children over for dinner sometime! Take a chance - let him know that you would like to see him and see what he does from there... 1
CardsFan01 Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Despite what women would like, men aren’t mind readers. If you are interested, let him know and you’ll have your answer. 2
JuneL Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Do you bake things? If yes, you can drop by and give him and his kids some. 3
Author divegrl Posted November 14, 2018 Author Posted November 14, 2018 Thank you!!! I am going to give him a baked item with my name and number. We will see how he responds! Thanks my friends! 1
Garcon1986 Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 If a chap is talking to you that much and not explicitly asking you out, that means he is interested in you. I would keep low expectations on the mind reading side of things, most men fail in that department Get to know him, ask him out at least once, find out if he is dating and looking, single and looking, etc etc. Have a smashing time. 1
Gaeta Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Before asking yourself if he is interested you need to know: 1. Is he divorced? 2. How long he's been divorced? 1
JuneL Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Thank you!!! I am going to give him a baked item with my name and number. We will see how he responds! Thanks my friends! I’m a little confused now. If your kids and your dogs have been playing together (and he even gave them gifts), how can he not know your number and name? 1
PRW Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 I agree with the others that he is interested. He just doesn't have the guts to ask you out. If you want to date him you will have to make you intentions clear. But you have to consider if you want to get into a relationship with a guy who doesn't have enough confidence to ask you out in the first place. The insecurity and lack of confidence can come out later in a lot of negative and frustrating ways. Most women don't want to teach a man how to be a man. You also have to consider how geographically close he is as a neighbor. If you break up, especially if it is a bad breakup (with insecure low-confidence guys it usually is a bad breakup), do you want an Ex living that close by. The choice is yours. 2
PRW Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 I am going to give him a baked item with my name and number. We will see how he responds! That would seem odd to me. Just be direct. Doesn't he already know your name and number anyway? 1
sabaton Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Hi! So there’s this guy who lives in my neighborhood. Over the past couple of months we have gotten to know each other. Our dogs and kids play together. He seems like a really nice genuine man. He has bought my girls gifts and always comes over to say hi and talk with us. When we talk he seems nervous and shy. I think he is interested, but he has not asked me out. Every time I talk with him I smile. Ask him questions. I am extremely nice to him. So what do you think? Is he interested and just shy? Or is he just being nice? Thank you so much for your advice. Have a beautiful day! The guy comes up to you offering you gifts and also bringing gifts to your daughters. He's clearly interested. Ask him out on a date. Doesn't have to be somewhere fancy, just ask him to have a cup of coffee with you at coffee shop. I am going to give him a baked item with my name and number. We will see how he responds! Next time you see him, ask him for his name and for his number, then initiate the texting by asking him how he is. Make small talk, and after some 5 to 10 minutes ask him to have a cup of coffee with you. 1
JuneL Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 That would seem odd to me. Just be direct. Doesn't he already know your name and number anyway? Personally I’d just give him some baked goodies without the name and number to give him an encouraging signal. It’s also natural timing as Thanksgiving is coming up. He’ll have to make the move if he wants to ask you for your number. There’s plenty of opportunity for him, as your kids and dogs are friends. But it’s just me. 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Hi! So there’s this guy who lives in my neighborhood. Over the past couple of months we have gotten to know each other. Our dogs and kids play together. He seems like a really nice genuine man. He has bought my girls gifts and always comes over to say hi and talk with us. When we talk he seems nervous and shy. I think he is interested, but he has not asked me out. Every time I talk with him I smile. Ask him questions. I am extremely nice to him. So what do you think? Is he interested and just shy? Or is he just being nice? Thank you so much for your advice. Have a beautiful day! I was like this with girls when I was younger. I would be soooo shy to ask. I was afraid of rejection. One girl I knew I waited a year to ask her!! By the time I asked her she told me she wasn't interested. I was devasated. You have to ask yourself. Do you like him enough to ask him out? If you do. REMEMBER that if you ask him out and he isn't interested. This will cause the dynamcs of the relationship to change. I wish you best of luck in finding what you want.
sabaton Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Personally I’d just give him some baked goodies without the name and number to give him an encouraging signal. It’s also natural timing as Thanksgiving is coming up. He’ll have to make the move if he wants to ask you for your number. There’s plenty of opportunity for him, as your kids and dogs are friends. But it’s just me. I don't get it. Why would the guy feel that she is interested in him because she baked goodies for him? Years ago I moved in into a new apt. and the young women there baked me some goodies. Did I assume they were interested in me, and that they wanted me to ask them out? Of course not. Because friendly neighbors want to give the new person a warm welcome. They want to make the new guy/gal feel like, this is a good place to live in, and there's women out there who are terrific cooks and bakers and want people to know about it lol. Don't wait for this guy to make a move, OP. Instead of handing him your name and your cellphone on a basket of goodies, ask for his name. Then ask for his number, as I've said before, and after you initiate a conversation and things seem to be going well - ask him out. There's nothing to it!
Gaeta Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 I am sure there is a kid movie out there they're all dying to see. Tell him you're thinking of taking your kids to that movie and if he'd like to take his kids along. That should break the ice. 1
snowcones Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 (edited) My mind is blown that a few people seem to think that they should have each others number already. Don't you know that kids sometimes play outside? And yes, give him your number with the baked good and tell him you like him and really hope to hear from him. Or if you can manage it, invite him somewhere where you can talk more and you will have to tell him you like him in person. Edited November 14, 2018 by snowcones 1
snowcones Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 I agree with the others that he is interested. He just doesn't have the guts to ask you out. If you want to date him you will have to make you intentions clear. But you have to consider if you want to get into a relationship with a guy who doesn't have enough confidence to ask you out in the first place. The insecurity and lack of confidence can come out later in a lot of negative and frustrating ways. Most women don't want to teach a man how to be a man. You also have to consider how geographically close he is as a neighbor. If you break up, especially if it is a bad breakup (with insecure low-confidence guys it usually is a bad breakup), do you want an Ex living that close by. The choice is yours. This IS true. You have to be ready to take this on if you're going this route.
Gaeta Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 She doesn't need to jump on the 'dating wagon'. How about just getting closer to get to know him better first? Invite him in for a coffee when the kids play, invite him to tag along to activities with the kids, then see if you are connecting on other levels. 1
sabaton Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 My mind is blown that a few people seem to think that they should have each others number already. Don't you know that kids sometimes play outside? And yes, give him your number with the baked good and tell him you like him and really hope to hear from him. Or if you can manage it, invite him somewhere where you can talk more and you will have to tell him you like him in person. Eh, I don't know about that. If I was the guy, and I got a basket of baked goodies with a phone number and a name inside, I'd feel that the person who gave it to me doesn't have the self-confidence necessary to make me feel hot and desireable by approaching me, or by at the very least ask me for my name in person. It's okay to be shy. She could ask the guy if he doesn't want to bring his kid to watch a movie with her own kids. There you go. That's a date. 1
JuneL Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 The body language will be different from when your neighbor granny gives you her baked goods. It’s okay you don’t get it , as this is a screening mechanism too (PRW explained well). I remember a couple of OP’s earlier threads, and I don’t think she’s the kind of women who enjoy chasing after men. I don't get it. Why would the guy feel that she is interested in him because she baked goodies for him? Years ago I moved in into a new apt. and the young women there baked me some goodies. Did I assume they were interested in me, and that they wanted me to ask them out? Of course not. Because friendly neighbors want to give the new person a warm welcome. They want to make the new guy/gal feel like, this is a good place to live in, and there's women out there who are terrific cooks and bakers and want people to know about it lol. Don't wait for this guy to make a move, OP. Instead of handing him your name and your cellphone on a basket of goodies, ask for his name. Then ask for his number, as I've said before, and after you initiate a conversation and things seem to be going well - ask him out. There's nothing to it!
Author divegrl Posted November 14, 2018 Author Posted November 14, 2018 Before asking yourself if he is interested you need to know: 1. Is he divorced? 2. How long he's been divorced? Hi Gaeta!! To my knowledge he has never been married. So no divorce. Thanks my friend! 1
Author divegrl Posted November 14, 2018 Author Posted November 14, 2018 I’m a little confused now. If your kids and your dogs have been playing together (and he even gave them gifts), how can he not know your number and name? Hi JuneL So yes it is a bit confusing. We see each other when we are outside hanging out. I just thought he was a nice neighbor until he gave my girls a small simple gift. Then I thought that was his way of showing he wanted to get to know me better? We know where each other live. But we have not exchanged numbers. Thanks my friend!!!
JuneL Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Eh, I don't know about that. If I was the guy, and I got a basket of baked goodies with a phone number and a name inside, I'd feel that the person who gave it to me doesn't have the self-confidence necessary to make me feel hot and desireable by approaching me, or by at the very least ask me for my name in person. It's okay to be shy. She could ask the guy if he doesn't want to bring his kid to watch a movie with her own kids. There you go. That's a date. My bf found my being a little shy to him cute and endearing But to each his own. I have no problem with some guys liking women who are very forward. It all boils down to what type of relationship the OP is looking for. 1
sabaton Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 (edited) My bf found my being a little shy to him cute and endearing But to each his own. I have no problem with some guys liking women who are very forward. It all boils down to what type of relationship the OP is looking for. That's because guys aren't a monolith what one guy likes, the next one probably doesn't. Shy women to me are boring. I had one girl in college who had lunch with me in a group-setting and then as things turned out, the rest of our classmates left us to be somewhere, and when I was trying to make conversation with her, all she would do was to stare at my lips, my eyes and my shoulders, giving short replies to my questions. I had to make most of the conversation, lead it, and I ended feeling that the girl was not interested in talking to me, and then months later she got drunk enough to approach me If it wasn't for that whiskey at our friends house, she never would have had the courage to approach me in a sexual context and she would have never had sex with me. Because she was shy. Who knows if OP won't have a great relationship with this guy??? The chances of that happening increase if she asks him out The body language will be different from when your neighbor granny gives you her baked goods. It’s okay you don’t get it , as this is a screening mechanism too (PRW explained well). I remember a couple of OP’s earlier threads, and I don’t think she’s the kind of women who enjoy chasing after men.I don't really take body language seriously. A girl is giving me signals that she's interested, but if she doesn't make an actual move and start a conversation/ask for my name, I'm just going to assume the interest she has in me isn't all that high. What do you mean by a screening method, by the way? Edited November 14, 2018 by sabaton
PRW Posted November 14, 2018 Posted November 14, 2018 Personally I’d just give him some baked goodies without the name and number to give him an encouraging signal. It’s also natural timing as Thanksgiving is coming up. He’ll have to make the move if he wants to ask you for your number. There’s plenty of opportunity for him, as your kids and dogs are friends. But it’s just me. Yea, although answering the door naked the next time he comes over is pretty effective sometimes.
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