ericw899 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 So I've begun talking to this new girl on Instagram. She is amazing. Sweet, smart, beautiful, same hobbies and interests as me, really everything I could ask for. Now here is the thing. She never initiates conversation with me and sometimes she will ignore or "ghost" me when I send a message. However when we do talk, she is super sweet, very engaging and uses a lot of emojis and seems to like talking to me. We even talked about something we both enjoyed and agreed to go out on Saturday but I feel like it'll not happen. What's everyone's opinion on this situation as I really like her & hope she wants me as much as I want her!
carhill Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 Briefly, resist being a negative Nelly about the date and go out and have a good time. Focus on the personal, physical interactions, not electrons. One MW an hour earlier was going 'Fck you' like she's mad than an hour later my dick is in her mouth. The key? Keeping my mouth shut. Not dealing with her with logic. Women aren't a math problem. Go enjoy yourself. Dating is fun.
Simple Logic Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 She is not interested and likes the attention of chatting with guys on Instagram.
Garcon1986 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 This is probably a mild degree of game playing; women are sometimes told by their girlfriends to be less chatty if you want to "snag the man". I recommend playing a cool customer here, and offer the date like you ordinarily would, and specify clearly that it is a date. Wait for her reply and see what happens, in the meantime, go about your life and be your cheery self. She will eventually put up extra effort in the relationship when she feels comfortable doing it, you just can't push her faster than she wants to do it. It is the role of men to drive the relationship forward, and the role of women (in initial dating) to set the pace. Be her Dr Watson. An excellent gentleman with fine qualities available in limited editions.
carhill Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 Tip: If you hit it off, try to set up a weeknight meet sooner rather than later. Saturday is a hot date night reserved for the cream of the crop. Back in the day I'd never set up a weekend as a first meet, always a weekday, either for lunch or after work. This one may fall through, don't know, don't care, if it does billions more out there just like her. She's not special until she is and earns it.
Author ericw899 Posted November 13, 2018 Author Posted November 13, 2018 Tip: If you hit it off, try to set up a weeknight meet sooner rather than later. Saturday is a hot date night reserved for the cream of the crop. Back in the day I'd never set up a weekend as a first meet, always a weekday, either for lunch or after work. This one may fall through, don't know, don't care, if it does billions more out there just like her. She's not special until she is and earns it. I like the idea. But the date we planned has to be done during the day which is why I made it Saturday since it will be too late for me on a weekday after work.
carhill Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 Another tip: Keep first meets simple. You don't know if you find her attractive in person or she you. I'd usually do lunch or a quick bite after work. I met my exW for lunch at a Mex place I'd been to for years. Ordered two maragaritas. Drank both because she was a half hour late And, yeah, when she showed up at the table I told her that 'You're a half hour late and I told Louie the next round's on you!'. Hey we got married so.... Don't get bound up in logistics. Switch up. Text/call her tonight, flirt whatever, then suggest something brief after you get off work, presuming her work can match up. Then *do* it. I've done that a lot. Of course that's after the first meet and things go OK. Oh baby was thinking of you how about a quickie? Not sex. Keep it fun and keep her thinking about you. It works.
preraph Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 You're just one of a million people she's talking to. And it's not really ghosting since Instagram isn't a dating app.
Author ericw899 Posted November 13, 2018 Author Posted November 13, 2018 I feel so lost because my ex would be so excited to talk to me every second of the day. I just got this girls number finally but she's kind of a spotty texter. Which I know is fine and I can't have such high expectations but I really don't want to lose her before I even get a chance
Garcon1986 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 You can never guarantee to lock down a girl period in dating. However, you can do things to increase your chances. Showing her this degree of worrying will definitely make her block you or friendzone you once she sees it. You have to be a cool customer here. Multiple women here have told you, that they respect confidence and a go get em attitude. Take it from the source.
Malin889 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 So I've begun talking to this new girl on Instagram. She is amazing. Sweet, smart, beautiful, same hobbies and interests as me, really everything I could ask for. Now here is the thing. She never initiates conversation with me and sometimes she will ignore or "ghost" me when I send a message. However when we do talk, she is super sweet, very engaging and uses a lot of emojis and seems to like talking to me. We even talked about something we both enjoyed and agreed to go out on Saturday but I feel like it'll not happen. What's everyone's opinion on this situation as I really like her & hope she wants me as much as I want her! She’s probably just busy, and she barely knows you. She doesn’t have to reply back to every message. Don’t text/message as much and you won’t be disappointed. Aim high but keep low/no expectations. 1
Author ericw899 Posted November 13, 2018 Author Posted November 13, 2018 You can never guarantee to lock down a girl period in dating. However, you can do things to increase your chances. Showing her this degree of worrying will definitely make her block you or friendzone you once she sees it. You have to be a cool customer here. Multiple women here have told you, that they respect confidence and a go get em attitude. Take it from the source. But how do I remain cool and confident when I know she won't message back?
Garcon1986 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 That's not certain anyway. You hope for a message back, and since there is no commitment, you seek out one of the other 1.5 billion ladies who might be seeking out a relationship in the meantime with no strings attached. You aren't exclusive, so you can't be at the point of pondering exclusivity. Here you use the abundance mindset. I bet you cash money that there will be more women who fit your bill of attractive who are out there searching.
Author ericw899 Posted November 13, 2018 Author Posted November 13, 2018 That's not certain anyway. You hope for a message back, and since there is no commitment, you seek out one of the other 1.5 billion ladies who might be seeking out a relationship in the meantime with no strings attached. You aren't exclusive, so you can't be at the point of pondering exclusivity. Here you use the abundance mindset. I bet you cash money that there will be more women who fit your bill of attractive who are out there searching. Don't get me wrong I'm not putting my life on hold for her, in fact I am talking to someone else as well. I just can't stop thinking about this girl. I get such a great vibe from her & she is so sweet and beautiful it kills me thinking about blowing a chance with her.
Garcon1986 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 The way you don't blow a chance is that you've obviously put the ball in her court. You wait for her to respond, and when she does, you showcase your finest qualities as a man. Confidence all around. If she doesn't, you seek out another. Women get to pick men on the front end, men get to pick women on the back end (put a ring on it). These desirable women have literally hundreds of options, and they are out gossiping with their girlfriends about who makes them feel better, imagining who is the best in bed, imagining who has the best abs, endless stuff. If she comes back to you, superb. If she doesn't, she's just another star in the Milky Way, plenty more to check out.
Sunlight72 Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 But how do I remain cool and confident when I know she won't message back?If you know she won't text back, the you don't text her. That's how. You do something fun in your life that does not involve her - that way you are building your life and not just thinking endlessly about her, and when she texts you, you have something to chat about if it comes up.
olivetree Posted November 13, 2018 Posted November 13, 2018 You haven't even met and what you think of each other until then is just fantasy. Don't expect her to text as much as an exgf. That's not the same thing at all. You need to think about this differently because you're too invested for the situation.
Recommended Posts