friend with daddy-issues

[dani1982]

I have this friend (female 26/ I am 36), with daddy issues (i am sure she has them)

 

i dated her 2 times (sex on the first, slept over, the whole thing), on the 2nd date she told me; don't fall in love with me, i am not looking for anything serious, i was like ok; let's just see how this goes from here (i was ok with fwb, but off course i was hoping for something serious).

after a week after the 2nd date i texted her when we could meet, she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

I told her i was disappointed, but i wasnt in love with her, only was hoping to get something serious out of it.

 

now i am a great guy and was thinking sure let's be friends, i don't have much female friends, and maybe she changes her mind in a few years, but now she is occupied the whole time.

 

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

[Juha]

Why would you want to bother?

 

She is not interested, best you find a lady who is interested in you.

 

Don't waste time and energy on someone trying to convince them they should like you.

[ExpatInItaly]

When you have to convince someone to like you, you are barking up the wrong tree.

 

Don't waste your time on her. It's not going to happen.

[carhill]

Typical sex to gather furniture movers

[PRW]

First, I echo the others. I agree with their statements.

 

I have this friend (female 26/ I am 36), with daddy issues (i am sure she has them)

 

You don't really know if she has daddy issues. There is nothing about her behavor that says that. She is just typical of some chick who is easy, sleeps around, and doesn't know what she wants. There everywhere, particularly in their early to mid 20's

 

(i was ok with fwb, but off course i was hoping for something serious).

Never agree to something you don't really want. It makes you look like a push-over, "easy", weak.

 

after a week after the 2nd date i texted her when we could meet, she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

She went for the "bad boy" who isn't putting any expectations on her.

 

but i wasnt in love with her, only was hoping to get something serious out of it.

That is a contradiction.

 

now i am a great guy and was thinking sure let's be friends, i don't have much female friends, and maybe she changes her mind in a few years, but now she is occupied the whole time.

Every guy is a great guy,...just ask their mom. This is the typical Beta Male Orbiter move. Stay in orbit as a "friend" hoping she will change her mind at some point. Never be the weak "nice guy" that tosses his feelings up on her when he thinks it's the "right time" and she'll fall madly in love with him. It just isn't gonna happen.

 

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

There is nothing to move forward FROM. You did not have anything in the first place. No she wasn't into you. No she wasn't going faster,...she just felt like getting laid, and you were there. You found an easy lay and got two dates out of her before she gave you the boot. She was most likely doing the same thing with that other guy at the same time. But she could see in you that you were starting to become attached, while the other guy was not,...so you opted for the other guy,...she doesn't want attachment.

 

Check out this list of videos. They are short and easy.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6Iaz96RkYE-MOjnq5NPgqw/search?query=nice+guy

[Malin889]

You don’t want someone who told you straight out that she has feelings for someone else... even if the person likes someone in another country which may or may not be realistic. The point is, she said she has feelings for someone else, so let her, save yourself, and move away from this girl.

[bathtub-row]

What does any of this have to do with daddy issues? She’s hung up on someone else. I’m sure she’ll be sorry she wasted her time on whoever the guy is but it is what it is. Just bow out.

[HumanMachine]

Be grateful for her honesty. Don’t be her emotional tampon.

[Redhead14]

i dated her 2 times - After two dates you know what kind of "issues" she has?

 

2nd date she told me; don't fall in love with me, i am not looking for anything serious, -- This is what you KNOW about her.

 

This . . .

 

she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

Plus this . . .

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

 

. . . says one of two things: She doesn't have daddy issues and has a long established relationship with this man that seems promising to her

 

OR

 

She does have daddy issues and sees this man as someone who is older and more well established and if they have a "real" relationship, it's going to be a parent-child relationship essentially.

 

If she does have daddy issues, why would you want that to be your "issue" as well? Why all the self-mind-f'ing after only two dates?

 

i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates - She liked you enough and somehow trusted you enough to be intimate with you but sex does not mean someone is "totally into" another person. And how could she be going faster than you? You BOTH had sex on the first date.

 

she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

i am not looking for anything serious -- the rest of that sentence would be . . . WITH YOU.

 

This girl was straight up honest with you. Keep moving. Find some who is on the same page with you in terms of dating goals and "availability".

[lurker74]

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

 

Have you ever seen the movies Cars? There's a scene where Doc Hudson tells McQueen that in order to turn right, you must go left. It's called drifting if you don't like the Disney reference. But the point is, the only way to convince a girl like that to be interested is to not be interested in her. Showing interest reduces your status in her eyes since if you want her, she MUST be better than you. And often times, these women look for dudes that treat them like crap because if they treat them poorly, those guys must have higher status.

 

Pick up artists use this all the time and call it negging (from negative). PUAs are a-holes but in this aspect, with certain women, they tend to be right. But please don't treat her like crap...just don't care about her in the sense that there are plenty of people that you could be with and she's just one.

 

And if you do that right and she notices, she will very likely chase you. But here's the thing, once she gets you, she will no longer be interested. So you have to ask yourself what you want because until she figures out her life, she won't ever want what you have to give.

[SunnyWeather]

I have this friend (female 26/ I am 36), with daddy issues (i am sure she has them)

 

i dated her 2 times (sex on the first, slept over, the whole thing), on the 2nd date she told me; don't fall in love with me, i am not looking for anything serious, i was like ok; let's just see how this goes from here (i was ok with fwb, but off course i was hoping for something serious).

after a week after the 2nd date i texted her when we could meet, she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

I told her i was disappointed, but i wasnt in love with her, only was hoping to get something serious out of it.

 

now i am a great guy and was thinking sure let's be friends, i don't have much female friends, and maybe she changes her mind in a few years, but now she is occupied the whole time.

 

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

 

with all due respect, it sounds more like YOU have the daddy issues.

 

she's made it clear where she stands. you are playing games trying to engage her in a type of relationship she doen't want any part of.

[kendahke]

I have this friend (female 26/ I am 36), with daddy issues (i am sure she has them)

 

i dated her 2 times (sex on the first, slept over, the whole thing), on the 2nd date she told me; don't fall in love with me, i am not looking for anything serious, i was like ok; let's just see how this goes from here (i was ok with fwb, but off course i was hoping for something serious).

after a week after the 2nd date i texted her when we could meet, she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

I told her i was disappointed, but i wasnt in love with her, only was hoping to get something serious out of it.

 

now i am a great guy and was thinking sure let's be friends, i don't have much female friends, and maybe she changes her mind in a few years, but now she is occupied the whole time.

 

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

 

I"m trying to figure out how you shoe-horned "daddy issues" into her just not being interested in you? If she's got someone else on her mind, she's not into you and you can't make her be interested in you through manipulation tactics you're trying to get from people here. Oh, because you two had sex? Sex was just something for her to do to pass the time, not any indication that she wants a future with you.

Edited November 12, 2018 by kendahke

[smackie9]

So that's your reasoning that she doesn't want to date you...she has daddy issues?...if she was really into you she wouldn't be interested in someone else.....the reality...she's not into you...it is what it is. Just because someone sleeps with you, doesn't always mean they want a relationship. It was a one/two time thing..she's over it, why aren't you?

[Redhead14]

This is kind of like when a girl has been dating a guy and he tells her he's not looking for a relationship. Female OPs often come here asking if he's a commitment-phobe -- labeling the guy with an "issue" softens the blow of the reality of the situation.

[brigit87]

I have this friend (female 26/ I am 36), with daddy issues (i am sure she has them)

 

i dated her 2 times (sex on the first, slept over, the whole thing), on the 2nd date she told me; don't fall in love with me, i am not looking for anything serious, i was like ok; let's just see how this goes from here (i was ok with fwb, but off course i was hoping for something serious).

after a week after the 2nd date i texted her when we could meet, she told me she has feelings for someone else, who lives in a different country who already has a kid, ?!? & we could meet, only as friends only.

 

I told her i was disappointed, but i wasnt in love with her, only was hoping to get something serious out of it.

 

now i am a great guy and was thinking sure let's be friends, i don't have much female friends, and maybe she changes her mind in a few years, but now she is occupied the whole time.

 

I understand i have to move forward, but any change; i could "convince" this person over the long term?, i am sure she was totally in to me on the first 2 dates, she was even going faster then me

 

I just don't understand why girls with daddy issues want an impossible relationship

 

She might have daddy issues. I'm not sure why a 26 year old woman would sleep with a 36 year old guy. The age gap is too big. But then again it sort of sounds like she just felt like having sex and didn't put too much thought into having sex with you.

 

So basically she might have daddy issues but that has nothing to do with the fact that she's just not that into you.

 

Sorry.

[smackie9]

10 years is nothing....daddy issues is if the gap is 20 years+....hence being old enough to be her dad.