Is she really interested?

November 11, 2018

I met this girl about a month ago. She is 24 yo. I am 27. Went out on 5 dates. I had really good time and like her a lot. But I keep wondering if she is really interested or is there just for the fun of it.

Here are some signs that seem to suggest she is:

She agreed to each and every date I propsed, and the dates are really, really fun and last for hours upon hours.
There's been hand holding, kissing and cuddling.
She writes back every time I message her and does it as soon as she sees the message, without fail. And there are no half-assed responses, it's fun, quick-witted, and dynamic.
She invited me to her place, we drank some wine and cuddled.

And signs she isn't:

She never initiates contact. Literally, every conversation we had was initiated by me. If I didn't write to her, I'm sure there would be no contact between dates, or I suppose no dates whatsoever.
She never initiated dates.
Doesn't initiate or respond to flirting over text or calls.
There was no sex, but from what she said she doesn't seem prudish and isn't shy.
First time I asked her out she thought we were just hanging out. There was no escalation on her part, so next time I asked for a proper date explicitly. She asked me what's the difference? What a weird thing to ask.
She talks about her exes a lot, and also guys she was interested in. I don't mind a good anecdote if there's an ex involved. But these tangents keep coming back. And even I know you shouldn't really bring up these topics when you are with someone you're interested in.
While we were on a date in a club, a random girl approached me and asked me for a dance and my phone number. Obviously I declined and said I'm on a date. She overheard that and later jokingly said I should have "gone for it", which is a joke I would expect from a friend rather than your date.
I initiate 95% of kissing. She went for it maybe once or twice. And those make out sessions last about 10 seconds tops, which is very surprising for me.

Am I on a way to become a "friend with hug benefits"? I don't mind waiting for sex until being exclusive, but the sum total of the points above makes me really confused and wary of slipping into a friend zone, and there is little I can do more in terms of escalation. The worst thing is I feel kinda creepy having to initiate all the kissing, I don't want to be forcing such things :/

What should I do? An honest conversation about our expectations seems to be a good idea, but it's way too early and I feel like actions speak louder than words. So should I withdraw my interest and see if she initiates at least one date? And if she doesn't offer a date opportuniy for say two weeks I would have my answer? But then again there are girls who would literally never do that even if they're interested. Any advice?

November 11, 2018

I am no expert here, but I would keep initiating dates but stop all the texting and stuff in between. Do the Corey wayne approach and use the phone for setting dates.

If she doesnt contact you for a week, call and ask her on a date, if she keeps dating you and you are having fun, cool. Maybe that's all she wants. Date other people, unless you both agree on exclusivity. If she never contacts you on her own and you are chasing its a little needy sounding. wait till she initiates contact and set up a date. Any more and I will just be quoting Corey Wayne over and over.

Maybe she is waiting for you to lead and for you to get frisky?

November 11, 2018

She never initiates contact. Literally, every conversation we had was initiated by me. If I didn't write to her, I'm sure there would be no contact between dates, or I suppose no dates whatsoever.
She never initiated dates.
Doesn't initiate or respond to flirting over text or calls.
There was no sex, but from what she said she doesn't seem prudish and isn't shy.
First time I asked her out she thought we were just hanging out. There was no escalation on her part, so next time I asked for a proper date explicitly. She asked me what's the difference? What a weird thing to ask.
She talks about her exes a lot, and also guys she was interested in. I don't mind a good anecdote if there's an ex involved. But these tangents keep coming back. And even I know you shouldn't really bring up these topics when you are with someone you're interested in.
While we were on a date in a club, a random girl approached me and asked me for a dance and my phone number. Obviously I declined and said I'm on a date. She overheard that and later jokingly said I should have "gone for it", which is a joke I would expect from a friend rather than your date.
I initiate 95% of kissing. She went for it maybe once or twice. And those make out sessions last about 10 seconds tops, which is very surprising for me.

Is she an "old fashioned" kind of girl who doesn't believe in women making the first move? Seriously, there are women out there like this. They've been on this site saying that they think the guys should make the moves, so is she one of them? Have you asked her what her philosophy on texting and communications is? Have you told her what you need from a partner in a developing relationship?

It looks like she thinks that you're a male girlfriend because perhaps you haven't made it clear to her that you want her like a lover, not as a buddy. Try being explicitly clear with her so that she's under no illusions and gauge her response. If she starts backing up, then leave her alone unless you want to be her male girlfriend while she runs back after her exes. There's a reason why they figure so prominently with her...

November 11, 2018

Most likely she's not interested.

I get the confusion--nice job laying out the pros and cons on this question.

But here's the thing: really you want to date people who STRONGLY want to date you. This woman sounds like she enjoys your company and has a reasonably good time with you ... but she's holding back.

No initiation of communication is a serious problem. I would stop communicating with her altogether ... or ask her out and bring this up on the date. What do you have to lose? Put the question to her?

There's a slight chance she's playing hard to get ... But that comment that you should have "gone for it" when the other woman approached you at the club--that's pretty strong evidence she's just not that into you.

What's confusing is she is somewhat interested, but trust me lukewarm interest NEVER works out. What often happens is the person in your position, bites their tongues, keeps initiating and hoping ... and then the other person at some point finally dumps them officially. Person is your position is surprised and devastated.

So my advice: either ask her if she's really interested in a relationship with you ... or stop all contact ... see if she takes some steps towards you. I would bet she doesn't.

November 11, 2018

She talks about her exes a lot, and also guys she was interested in. I don't mind a good anecdote if there's an ex involved. But these tangents keep coming back. And even I know you shouldn't really bring up these topics when you are with someone you're interested in.

While we were on a date in a club, a random girl approached me and asked me for a dance and my phone number. Obviously I declined and said I'm on a date. She overheard that and later jokingly said I should have "gone for it", which is a joke I would expect from a friend rather than your date.

Ignore her seek out other options, should have given that girl your number too. She could be using you for attention, start showing her less attention...and she if she deos anything that indicates high interest...

If she was into you, there wouldn't talk of her exes and talk about other guys she is interested in....stop wasting time

November 11, 2018

Most likely she's not interested.

I get the confusion--nice job laying out the pros and cons on this question.

But here's the thing: really you want to date people who STRONGLY want to date you. This woman sounds like she enjoys your company and has a reasonably good time with you ... but she's holding back.

No initiation of communication is a serious problem. I would stop communicating with her altogether ... or ask her out and bring this up on the date. What do you have to lose? Put the question to her?

There's a slight chance she's playing hard to get ... But that comment that you should have "gone for it" when the other woman approached you at the club--that's pretty strong evidence she's just not that into you.

What's confusing is she is somewhat interested, but trust me lukewarm interest NEVER works out. What often happens is the person in your position, bites their tongues, keeps initiating and hoping ... and then the other person at some point finally dumps them officially. Person is your position is surprised and devastated.

So my advice: either ask her if she's really interested in a relationship with you ... or stop all contact ... see if she takes some steps towards you. I would bet she doesn't.

Asking someone if they’re interested so soon wouldn’t seem desperate?

November 11, 2018

She talks about her exes a lot, and also guys she was interested in.

This right here is a reason to not contact her again. She's just hanging out with you. Reciprocation is very important...so why are you ignoring this. Stop thinking you should be kool with this...it's not and she doesn't deserve a call back.

As I always say: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated....dude ditch the b&^%$

November 12, 2018

10 second make out session = not interested "that way".

November 12, 2018

This right here is a reason to not contact her again. She's just hanging out with you. Reciprocation is very important...so why are you ignoring this. Stop thinking you should be kool with this...it's not and she doesn't deserve a call back.

As I always say: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated....dude ditch the b&^%$

The above comment is on point

Ditch her and find someone who is actually interested in dating you.

She is not interested, just using you to make her feel good

November 12, 2018

I met this girl about a month ago. She is 24 yo. I am 27. Went out on 5 dates. I had really good time and like her a lot. But I keep wondering if she is really interested or is there just for the fun of it.

Here are some signs that seem to suggest she is:

She agreed to each and every date I propsed, and the dates are really, really fun and last for hours upon hours.
There's been hand holding, kissing and cuddling.
She writes back every time I message her and does it as soon as she sees the message, without fail. And there are no half-assed responses, it's fun, quick-witted, and dynamic.
She invited me to her place, we drank some wine and cuddled.

All looks good except for the "hours and hours" in the length of the date. That will burn her out. Always end the date soon enough that she is done while still wanting more. When she watches you drive off you want her to be thinking she wanted to see you a little bit longer. This way she looks forward to the next time with more enthusiasm.

And signs she isn't:

She never initiates contact. Literally, every conversation we had was initiated by me. If I didn't write to her, I'm sure there would be no contact between dates, or I suppose no dates whatsoever.
She never initiated dates.
Doesn't initiate or respond to flirting over text or calls.
There was no sex, but from what she said she doesn't seem prudish and isn't shy.
First time I asked her out she thought we were just hanging out. There was no escalation on her part, so next time I asked for a proper date explicitly. She asked me what's the difference? What a weird thing to ask.
She talks about her exes a lot, and also guys she was interested in. I don't mind a good anecdote if there's an ex involved. But these tangents keep coming back. And even I know you shouldn't really bring up these topics when you are with someone you're interested in.
While we were on a date in a club, a random girl approached me and asked me for a dance and my phone number. Obviously I declined and said I'm on a date. She overheard that and later jokingly said I should have "gone for it", which is a joke I would expect from a friend rather than your date.
I initiate 95% of kissing. She went for it maybe once or twice. And those make out sessions last about 10 seconds tops, which is very surprising for me.

She isn't supposed to for about the first month. If she isn't after a month then you are pursuing too hard,...contacting her too much
Not her job. That's your job. She may later suggest things to do, but it is your job to make it happen. Be a leader, not a follower.
She is smart. Emulate her.
Women who are well balanced and have self respect don't initiate sex. They wait for you to "be the man".
Too much reasoning, too much "logic". She thought you were just "hanging out" because that is the vibe you gave her in how you approached. You don't make a date and then have to "tell her" it is an official date. Her job is to show up, look hot, and have fun. Don't put any other burden on her. Your job is to make the date, plan it out, make it happen,...and set the tone (with action, without talking about it)
Don't let her make you her therapist. Change the subject when she gets talking about "Exes". Do it gently and smoothly without drawing attention to the fact that you changed the subject.
It was a test. If you made a point about rejecting the other woman with the attitude "I'm only here for you babe" then that makes you too interested in her, too clingy. On the other hand if you agreed with her and said, "Yea, I should have got her number", then you are a dick. The right response is to kind of just move on past it as if you only barely heard what she said/meant and didn't really give it that much attention.
You kiss based on her indications of wanting to be kissed and you match her intensity.

Am I on a way to become a "friend with hug benefits"?

Yes. That was why she hit you with the test about the other woman flirting with you. The worse job you do the more tests you will get. It isn't conscious to them, it is instinctual to make sure you are the "man" you are supposed to be. If you asked her if she was testing she isn't going to know what the heck your talking about and may feel insulted.

An honest conversation about our expectations seems to be a good idea,

NO!! It is not. Dating is not a negotiation or a business meeting.

So should I withdraw my interest and see if she initiates at least one date? And if she doesn't offer a date opportuniy for say two weeks I would have my answer?

That would be outright stupid. The only thing manipulation does is piss people off, both men and women.

Keep making dates once a week consistently. Minimal contact between date (the phone is for setting dates,...not "visiting"). Your job is to make the date and the plans (be the Leader, not a whiney follower). Her job is to hang out, look hot, and have fun. Shorten the dates to only a couple hour,...leave her always wanting a little more.

When she starts to reach out to you in one of those meaningless "what's up" or "how's your day going?" messages,...use that as your que to make the next date,...then gracefully and politely get off the phone.

Stay away from labels (boyfriend, girlfriend, relationship, love, marriage). Labels are the woman's job,...stay away from it. When she is ready to escalate to exclusivity, she will bring it up. This is NOT for you to bring up.

What should I do?

Get Corey Wayne's book "How to be a 3% Man". Then memorize it. Edited November 12, 2018 by PRW

November 12, 2018

I've manned up and asked her in person, and told her that I feel there's some disproportion of interest. She was surprised but admitted that she doesn't feel 100% comfortable right now, which is kind of true.

I said that it's probably because of lack of reciprocal interest, and that the way my mind works is that I need at least SOME level of initiation to come from the other person. She admitted that she didn't want to seem to eager, but what I am saying sounds reasonable.

Then right after she wrote that we should go out next week. Because I was really confused at that point, I asked if that is an invitation for a date and that I am really not interested in being a friend and ideally I am dating people for a LTR. Did I come on too strong? Or was that me being honest, I am really confused here.

She wrote that she can't say what she wants at this point. Cannot decide.

So I said ok, there's some level of incompatibility but I had great time, if she ever feels differently she should give me a call, but otherwise I'm out, because I am looking for no less than "**** yeah" when it comes to dating.

Then as I was ready to cut it off after say 30 minutes, she wrote me a text (something she literally never did) and said how she is surprised I already decided it was over even if she hasn't yet decided if she want's to go on a date or not. What kind of game-playing is that?

And now she is messaging me some feel-good stuff about how it's all understandable, etc. But still not a firm yes.

Is she doing damage control in the light of the fact that she realized I really don't want to be her friend and there would be no one to stroke her ego. Or did I really come on too strong and she is genuinely lost? But then again I always thought that anything less than a firm yes is a no.

Am I being strung along? Should I remove all forms of contact with her, and leave a door open if she ever tells me: "oh yeah, I want to go on a date with you". Or is it a lost cause?

November 12, 2018

Originally Posted by smackie9
This right here is a reason to not contact her again. She's just hanging out with you. Reciprocation is very important...so why are you ignoring this. Stop thinking you should be kool with this...it's not and she doesn't deserve a call back.

As I always say: date those who treat you the way you want to be treated....dude ditch the b&^%$

The above comment is on point

Ditch her and find someone who is actually interested in dating you.
She is not interested, just using you to make her feel good

The above comment is on point

Ditch her and find someone who is actually interested in dating you.
She is not interested, just using you to make her feel good

Guys, guys! A little less negativity

:bunny:

The answer to everything can't always be "Dump 'em!, Dump 'em!"

Let the process work! There is no perfect human being, no one is ever going to do things perfectly correct all the time every day on every date. Everyone is going to do stupid stuff at different points along the way. If we dumped everyone at the drop of a hat as soon as they made their first mistake,...there would be no more babies and the human race would go extinct.

My approach is to analyze the situation that is described to me, sometimes analyze it to death,...give some recommendations to the OP to improve their methods. But then I leave the final decision to them. I rarely (sometimes, yes), but rarely tell them to either break it off or keep going. I let them make up their own mind on that.

November 12, 2018

I am no expert here, but I would keep initiating dates but stop all the texting and stuff in between. Do the Corey wayne approach and use the phone for setting dates.

If she doesnt contact you for a week, call and ask her on a date, if she keeps dating you and you are having fun, cool. Maybe that's all she wants. Date other people, unless you both agree on exclusivity. If she never contacts you on her own and you are chasing its a little needy sounding. wait till she initiates contact and set up a date. Any more and I will just be quoting Corey Wayne over and over.

Maybe she is waiting for you to lead and for you to get frisky?

The student becomes the teacher.

See how investing in your own self improvement due to your own problems eventually gets reciprocated out to others when you see them where you used to be? That is how it happened with me.

November 12, 2018

Hey I speak from experience here...when it's lukewarm it doesn't get any hotter than that. I tried the, maybe I will warm up to the guy....no all I did was break his heart. She's undecided so that means she's waiting for a better option, or she likes the company and figures she might warm up to the idea of dating him or at least have a nice friend. The OP has an agenda and that is to find a GF...she ain't it. My advice is to stop putting in effort, leave the door open a crack and find other women to date. TBH 5 dates would be enough to know whether things are going to progress or not...they haven't...time to move on.

November 12, 2018

Hey I speak from experience here...when it's lukewarm it doesn't get any hotter than that. I tried the, maybe I will warm up to the guy....no all I did was break his heart. She's undecided so that means she's waiting for a better option, or she likes the company and figures she might warm up to the idea of dating him or at least have a nice friend.

If she is in that state then I agree. But I'm not completely sure that is where she is. If he follows the pattern of approach that I lined out it will reveal it one way or the other without totally giving up till it is known for sure. If he just offers one date a week without all the "chit-chating" between the dates,...she will either draw closer or will drift off. He needs to rein-in the tendency to get invested before it is justified. If she keeps accepting the dates and has the right demeanor on the date that is good,...or she will start declining the dates.

November 12, 2018

If she is in that state then I agree. But I'm not completely sure that is where she is. If he follows the pattern of approach that I lined out it will reveal it one way or the other without totally giving up till it is known for sure. If he just offers one date a week without all the "chit-chating" between the dates,...she will either draw closer or will drift off. He needs to rein-in the tendency to get invested before it is justified. If she keeps accepting the dates and has the right demeanor on the date that is good,...or she will start declining the dates.

Could you read the comment I made 4 post ago. What do you think? Did i blow it? What would you do now?

I mean guessing from what I saw of that Corey Wayne guy I should do what I did: say that if she wants a date, she should give me a call. Leave it at that. If she does, have fun and hook up. But it seems so disingenuous to me, especially if I like someone a lot.

Edited November 12, 2018 by barneydin

November 12, 2018

I get that men like formulas, but it really depends on the woman he is dealing with whether an "approach" will work or not. He needs to suss that out, not apply a formula and hope it works.

Its far more complicated than A+B = C

Though I can see why there are so many dating coaches on line.

Try this ->

It worked, I am so happy...

Well done. It always works... Buy my new book.

It didn't work...

She just wasn't interested, nothing would have worked with her... and BTW, you need to buy my new book.

November 12, 2018

Could you read the comment I made 4 post ago. What do you think? Did i blow it? What would you do now?
I mean guessing from what I saw of that Corey Wayne guy I should do what I did: say that if she wants a date, she should give me a call.

No, you are cherry picking his material and misapplying it.

Let's look at you earlier post...

I've manned up and asked her in person, and told her that I feel there's some disproportion of interest. She was surprised but admitted that she doesn't feel 100% comfortable right now, which is kind of true.

"There's some disproportion of interest"? It was over right there. There is no manning up here. You don't tell a woman that. This is NOT "hang out & have fun". This is not light hearted and fun. This is soap opera "relationship" drama. Of course she was surprised,...and made to feel uncomfortable if she wasn't already.

She admitted that she didn't want to seem to eager, but what I am saying sounds reasonable.

Of course she didn't want to seem too eager,...which is what you should have been doing too.

Then right after she wrote that we should go out next week. Because I was really confused at that point, I asked if that is an invitation for a date and that I am really not interested in being a friend and ideally I am dating people for a LTR.

You came across as a woman being asked out on a date by a man and not knowing for sure if it is really a date and had to ask him. Gender role reversal there. You never tell a woman that you are not interested in just being friends unless she is actively and specifically giving you the "I just want to be friends" speech (which she wasn't). You then showed that you are zeroed in on the LTR idea instead of just "hang out & have fun" and let it grow into something.

She wrote that she can't say what she wants at this point. Cannot decide.

She is telling you to "go away" at this point. If a woman is really into the man she isn't going to be dithering on what she wants and be indecisive. She will know just what she wants and will go for it.

She ever feels differently she should give me a call, but otherwise I'm out, because I am looking for no less than "**** yeah" when it comes to dating.

Completely misapplied. It comes across as just being butt-hurt over being rejected. She isn't going to give you a call and you were already out before you said it.

she wrote me a text (something she literally never did) and said how she is surprised I already decided it was over even if she hasn't yet decided if she want's to go on a date or not. What kind of game-playing is that?

There is no game playing here. The translation from woman-speak to man-speak would be this: "I'm surprised you got so butt-hurt so fast and ran away. I'm going to go on dates, but just not with you."

And now she is messaging me some feel-good stuff about how it's all understandable, etc. But still not a firm yes.

Women are peace makers by nature. She knows you got butt-hurt and is trying to soften the tone and make you feel better.

Should I remove all forms of contact with her

Why? Is she stalking you? Peeking in your windows at night? Blowing up you phone with calls and text? Deleting her or blocking her is just you feeling like that is some kind of personal vengeance for getting rejected.

Or is it a lost cause?

Lost cause.

Stop cherry picking CW's material and misapplying it. Get the actual book and learn it correctly.

Edited November 12, 2018 by PRW

November 12, 2018

I've manned up and asked her in person, and told her that I feel there's some disproportion of interest. She was surprised but admitted that she doesn't feel 100% comfortable right now, which is kind of true.

I said that it's probably because of lack of reciprocal interest, and that the way my mind works is that I need at least SOME level of initiation to come from the other person. She admitted that she didn't want to seem to eager, but what I am saying sounds reasonable.

Then right after she wrote that we should go out next week. Because I was really confused at that point, I asked if that is an invitation for a date and that I am really not interested in being a friend and ideally I am dating people for a LTR. Did I come on too strong? Or was that me being honest, I am really confused here.She wrote that she can't say what she wants at this point. Cannot decide.

I think what you did was right on the money. You owned your voice and spoke up for what you needed and stood sentry to your boundaries. She showed you that she's BS-ing and not interested in being on the same page with you right now.

So I said ok, there's some level of incompatibility but I had great time, if she ever feels differently she should give me a call, but otherwise I'm out, because I am looking for no less than "**** yeah" when it comes to dating.

Then as I was ready to cut it off after say 30 minutes, she wrote me a text (something she literally never did) and said how she is surprised I already decided it was over even if she hasn't yet decided if she want's to go on a date or not. What kind of game-playing is that?

the kind where you end your involvement with her

And now she is messaging me some feel-good stuff about how it's all understandable, etc. But still not a firm yes.

Is she doing damage control in the light of the fact that she realized I really don't want to be her friend and there would be no one to stroke her ego. Or did I really come on too strong and she is genuinely lost? But then again I always thought that anything less than a firm yes is a no.

Am I being strung along? Should I remove all forms of contact with her, and leave a door open if she ever tells me: "oh yeah, I want to go on a date with you". Or is it a lost cause?

You were right on target in what you said and how you said it. She wasn't expecting you to peep her game, so that's why she's going through all of this. You've upset her apple cart and she's trying to get things to normal so she won't be alone during the holidays, not because she really, really wants to be your woman.

She is, I'm assuming, an emotionally healthy 24 year old grown woman with no severe mental or emotional issues who's been seeing a man who is very interested in her for one month. She should have a good idea by now if she wants to continue further with you.

If she's hemming and hawing, then that means that whoever she's actually interested in isn't available yet, but she doesn't want to be alone and without a boyfriend, especially with the holidays coming, so she's going to string you along for as long as you let her and she will make it seem you're being unreasonable when you're well within your rights to end this if it's not moving in the direction you want your life to go in. There is nothing wrong with that.

If she can't decide after one month of seeing you, then she doesn't know her own mind well enough to trust her own judgment and probably runs her relationships past a committee of her friends to accept/reject

November 12, 2018

"There's some disproportion of interest"? It was over right there. There is no manning up here. You don't tell a woman that. This is NOT "hang out & have fun".

So you are suggesting that two adults can never discuss feelings, needs, goals and boundaries before a relationships?

So what do you suggest? Spending possibly months of "hanging out and having fun" to learn the same thing later? I mean I get that it could work if you are dating several people, but...

In Europe, where I am from, multi-dating is seen as a really ****ty thing to do, so you can't just go and date other people after 2-3 dates. I personally would never do that.

November 12, 2018

If she can't decide after one month of seeing you, then she doesn't know her own mind well enough to trust her own judgment and probably runs her relationships past a committee of her friends to accept/reject

You know what! I thought that was a joke, but when we met, she said that "they" decided it was a good idea to start dating me: as in her friends. I thought that was a weird joke. You know, when you tell your mates about a date with a new girl. But now that you mentioned it, it could have been literally the truth, something much worse - and a small red flag. How insightful of you

Thanks

Edited November 12, 2018 by barneydin

November 13, 2018

Guys, guys! A little less negativity :bunny:

The answer to everything can't always be "Dump 'em!, Dump 'em!"

Let the process work! There is no perfect human being, no one is ever going to do things perfectly correct all the time every day on every date. Everyone is going to do stupid stuff at different points along the way. If we dumped everyone at the drop of a hat as soon as they made their first mistake,...there would be no more babies and the human race would go extinct.

My approach is to analyze the situation that is described to me, sometimes analyze it to death,...give some recommendations to the OP to improve their methods. But then I leave the final decision to them. I rarely (sometimes, yes), but rarely tell them to either break it off or keep going. I let them make up their own mind on that.

I don't say dump all the time and I agree with you to let things play out.

I can see this women is not really interested in him, she is using him and his attention to make herself feel good. She is not interested in him romantically at all.

It is pretty obvious to see, she is throwing him scraps, just enough to keep his interest in her keen. I am trying to save him from wasting his time as he is looking for a gf and serious relationship.

This is not the woman for that, at least not with him.

November 13, 2018

So you are suggesting that two adults can never discuss feelings, needs, goals and boundaries before a relationships?

That is an exaggeration of my point

In Europe, where I am from, multi-dating is seen as a really ****ty thing to do, so you can't just go and date other people after 2-3 dates. I personally would never do that.

Europe has no problem doing that. One of the biggest and most famous dating coach is a woman from the UK, and she will tell you the same thing I am. Your "date" is not your girlfriend after only 2-3 dates, nor are you her boyfriend. She does not owe it to you to turn away other opportunities after only 2-3 dates. It is your personal choice to not do multi-date. Until you reach exclusivity the girl you meet will probably be doing that. If you can't handle knowing that then you will have a lot of frustration.

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