I've never dated a girl I was attracted to

[Weskeast]

Hello

 

This is a long thread, so grab some chips or something

 

I'm 20, and all the girls l've been dating so far weren't my type, and I did dating them by lack of affection.

 

The last girl l've been with, I thought she was ugly, but somehow she did makes me feel so good, and I was really happy to have somebody in my life.

 

Except that, ultimately, dating someone you're not attracted to isn't fair, either to the person or to you.

 

Plus I can only imagine how great it must be to dating someone you're actually attracted to, both physically and emotionnaly. And it seems to happens to everyone but me.

 

The point is, I need to be wanted. I need the girl to show interest in my person, even if it's just a little.

 

I wouldn't make a move with a girl who doesn't even see me when I pass by.

 

If a girl do look at me, explicitely, even just for half a second, I go straight to her. Even if it's down the street or in the Subway.

 

The point is, the girls who actually did look at me are all 2/10-4/10.

I'm an average, decent looking men and I think I'm from 6 to 7, dependings on the days. But I might be wrong, more on that later.

 

L've been massively careful regarding my choice of pics, cause I know how bad it's important to have nice pics on Tinder.

Different places, different outfits, doing different things, different everything.

 

The girls I'm attracted to, 5/10-6/10, don't even sees me, or when they do actually know me they seems unable to see me in any romantic light.

 

L've been trying dozens of dating apps, but without any success.

I'm currently on Tinder, and since l've paid Tinder Gold I can see WHO did liked my profile.

 

And you guessed it, only 2/10-4/10 girls, and a MASSIVE load of guys.

 

Depressing

 

As I said earlier, I frequently go talks to girls on the street, which look like :

 

Me -Hey !

Her -Hey ?

Me -L've just seen you in the subway, and I really like your style, Maybe we could switch ours numbers and go for a coffee another day? I'm Daniel, 20 **Massive smile**

 

Her -No, sorry /or/ I have a boyfriend /or/ **Doesn't answer and run away**

 

So far I did get 2 numbers for 13 girls I talked to, The 1st girl was actually a lesbian and the second one can't figure when to date me because she's too busy and don't have time.

 

The point is, when you're actually attracted to someone you do make time, even when you don't have any.

 

SO, and that's why I'm here, I need to understand. Cause I'm really starting to think that I'm cursed.

 

[Picture links redacted]

 

I really, deeply think that there's something pretty obvious that I don't know, like that I'm actually ugly, or that I'm cursed, or that there's some magic formula that everyone does know but me.

 

I hope that it's not any of the above, but I want you to tell me, and to be sincere, that's why I'm here.

Edited November 11, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Personal pictures/image discussion in threads are/is prohibited

[d0nnivain]

You're fine. You have a nice smile & kind face.

 

Chasing women on the street can be creepy. Stop doing that.

 

Spend more time analyzing women you already see or interact with routinely -- in class, around work (but not at your company), at your favorite coffee shop. Take more time. Build a rapport. Let someone get comfortable. Stopping hitting on random strangers. You don't have to stop all together but not as your primary source.

 

As much as you need / want a woman to express interest in you before you approach don't you think some women would need you to seem interested before she reciprocates. You are going to have to learn to break the ice first. If after you smile, make eye contact & say hi she doesn't seem interested, then don't press the issue but stop waiting for women to engage with you 1st If you think she's attractive speak up.

 

Simply because somebody paid attention to you, if you aren't interested, don't pursue. Be friendly & cordial because there is no need to be mean, but you aren't obligated to date a woman who finds you attractive if the sentiment isn't returned.

[Weskeast]

Thanks for the report on my facial situation

 

Then I guess Tinder is broken

 

I know that it does sound creepy, but I'm really think that I'm out of options here

 

There's a lot of nice girls at my college, but if they do reject me I will keep seing them everyday, and that would be quite Awkward.

 

But with a girl I meet on the street, even if the rejects me I will never see her again, and that's a big plus to me.

 

When I'm doing it I'm always polite, and a keep a lot of physical distance between me and the girl. But I got your point.

 

I know that some girls don't show you interest unless you do it first for them

Actually it might be for most of them

 

You're right, next time I'm gonna try to break the ice with the girls who don't see me.

 

Yeah, that's probably way batter to take your time and to analyse every detail.

 

But god that's way WAY more complicated than I thought it would be.

 

It seems to be so simple for everyone, like theses things happens naturally to most people but for me I need to run a complete study of the girl before any attempt

[d0nnivain]

College is the easiest place in the world to meet people. Talk to women in class. Just talk. Don't initially hit on them. Ask about the lecture. Offer to study. Scope out the local events. After a few weeks of this you can ask her out.

 

You can also meet women at parties & campus clubs. Again be someone she knows before you ask for the date.

[Weskeast]

I know, but I don't clarify my intention at first, she might think that I don't want anything more than a friendship.

 

And then she might Laugh at my face if i Ask her out.

 

That's a huge risk.

 

How to show interest in a women without hit on her at first, but also without ending up in the "Kind friend" box, AKA friendzone ?

[d0nnivain]

In college you still need a base of comfort so that is a few weeks of friendliness.

 

Yes it is a risk to ask somebody out but if you are already friendly, & she's a nice person (which you should ascertain before you ask) she will say no politely & not humiliate you.

[MaleIntuition]

The bottom line is that you are only 20.

 

Your tinder experience sounds “normal” for what the average man will experience. Guys are, in general, much less picky while girls tend to be too picky which creates an imbalance...

 

The obvious advice would be to stop asking out women you aren’t attracted too?

[smackie9]

All I can say is, get more confidence and interact with women you are attracted to...you will be surprised at the better results you will get. Who cares if they are not checking you out...this is where the confidence part comes in...you go for it anyway.

[Weskeast]

Yes, I understand that a friendship is the base of any upper relationship.

 

But I still believe that I also need to never be explicitely "Her friend" if I want to keep "progressing".

 

Sure, I won't risk to ask out a girl who could potentially be mean.

 

Yeah I heard about this...5/10-7/10 girls only pick 9/10 10/10 males and so on.

I don't know why. Still it's been a whole week and I still stuck with loads of guys and only a few girls, all of them within 2/10 to 4/10.

 

I know that I shouldn't ask out girls that I find unattractive, But so far theses girls seems to be the only ones within my league.

 

To the question "Would you rather be alone or with someone you don't like that much" I don't know what to answer.

 

I mean, obviously being with a girl I'm not attracted to isn't nice, but Being alone is quite worse, in my opinion.

 

As I said earlier, my last relationship was with a girl I didn't find any attractive physically, but we had a thing, really.

 

I was glad to be with her, quite happy actually. But I couldn't avoid to wonder how it could be with a physically attractive girl.

 

We broke up for other reasons but I'm pretty sure this would have ruined our relationship at some point.

 

I don't know how others people are doing, others dudes seems to master some witchcraft I've never heard of

 

 

But it's okay, next monday I'm gonna start to think that I'm a god, 100/10 confidence and self esteem trough the roof, All of this while still being humble.

Thanks for the tips.

Edited November 11, 2018 by Weskeast
Something's missing

[smackie9]

It's not witchcraft...it's call confidence.

[d0nnivain]

I am not advocating that you be her friend. I am advocating that you be friendly. You are not going to have long deep platonic conversations. No spending large amounts of time together. Maybe a 45 minute study session at most. You are going to say hi & kind be there. A little flirting. A little teasing. Get her used to your presence in her life casually. Then ask her out.

[Weskeast]

Yeah, nice and subtle

 

That the kind of advice I needed, thanks

 

This and the confidence

[Lotsgoingon]

Sounds like you go from 0 to 60 mph without appreciating the speeds in between.

 

There is no reason to avoid approaching women at your school. You don't go up to people and tell them you want to date. First, you talk to them to see if they are worth dating, if they are at all your type.

 

Lots of attraction develops based on conversations that aren't immediately romantic. You spend time hanging out with someone or talking to someone and you feel the energy and chemistry and then you ask them out.

 

Do this well and you will mostly ask out people who you know are interested in you.

 

These cold approaches off the street--I mean I credit your with courage, but you want to interact with women at your school. You'll never be so surrounded again by people your own age.

 

Talk to women around you ... some might be friends ... someone won't be friends ... some will generate a special energy with you ... and if you have that energy for them, you ask them out ... or just hang out with them alone sometime.

[Weskeast]

Thanks all for your replies, it did helps me to understand a quite a few things.

 

Nice community that you have here guys.

[Larry56]

Women before the age of 25. girls are only interested in a few things.

 

Tall, Handsome, Nice face and some social status. If you're anything like average height, average face and everything else, you're basically at the bottom of the barrel in their eyes. Girls in this period are very judgy and very concerned about how they appear to their peers. They don't want to look like they are dating a square, even if they like you a little bit.

 

I have two friends who were both good friends growing up. One is darker/mixed race, 6ft, deep voice, calm personality. The hot chicks just came to him - he didn't even have to try much. He even dated one girl who ended up becoming a porn star.

 

My second friend. He's 5'8, pale, pretty nice personality, little bit insecure and he sounds a bit needy when he talks. He dated the fat chicks, the single mothers, he never got any further with a woman who was just decent.

 

Both hung out in the same social circle. One was hot, the other was average. So the women they ended up getting with matched their SMV. It's not really rocket science.

 

 

 

The only thing I'll say is if you want to get with women who are on your level of attractiveness or hotter is to play games. Playing games is the only thing that works with women who think they can do better then you (even if their destiny is to live in a trailer with an alpha male).

 

Or, get ripped, grow some facial hair, get an interesting life and just try to bed as women as possible (ugly/average/hot whoever).

[Highndry]

Women before the age of 25. girls are only interested in a few things.

 

Tall, Handsome, Nice face and some social status. If you're anything like average height, average face and everything else, you're basically at the bottom of the barrel in their eyes. Girls in this period are very judgy and very concerned about how they appear to their peers. They don't want to look like they are dating a square, even if they like you a little bit.

 

I have two friends who were both good friends growing up. One is darker/mixed race, 6ft, deep voice, calm personality. The hot chicks just came to him - he didn't even have to try much. He even dated one girl who ended up becoming a porn star.

 

My second friend. He's 5'8, pale, pretty nice personality, little bit insecure and he sounds a bit needy when he talks. He dated the fat chicks, the single mothers, he never got any further with a woman who was just decent.

 

Both hung out in the same social circle. One was hot, the other was average. So the women they ended up getting with matched their SMV. It's not really rocket science.

 

 

 

The only thing I'll say is if you want to get with women who are on your level of attractiveness or hotter is to play games. Playing games is the only thing that works with women who think they can do better then you (even if their destiny is to live in a trailer with an alpha male).

 

Or, get ripped, grow some facial hair, get an interesting life and just try to bed as women as possible (ugly/average/hot whoever).

 

 

I was afraid that video was going to be another nauseating Corey Wayne link and was happily surprised it was Adam Carolla. He makes me laugh, but he's only partially right. The tatted up/bad boy/guy-with-a-schtick isn't pulling the hot women. Those pics are of the barfly/club type women - hot bodies, decent looking but little else. They are some of the shallowest, lowest quality out there.

 

He is correct that a lot of these guys in dockers and an ugly short sleeve button up, with crappy hair, are doing themselves no favors. What they need to do is get some fashion sense and proper grooming. Dressing in style ALONG with self-confidence and an interesting life (some money certainly doesn't hurt), is how you get the best women. I'm talking quality - great looking, smart women who have their crap together, not some club girl.

[lurker74]

If a girl do look at me, explicitely, even just for half a second, I go straight to her. Even if it's down the street or in the Subway.

 

 

Stop doing this. If a woman looks at you, it may be an indication of interest but it is rarely a fricking invite. Talk to her...make her laugh...say goodbye and ask for the digits the second time you see her. Tinder is great for short-term hook ups but remember...Tinder is easy and the woman on Tinder are using it for that purpose too, which means it has a tendency to attract people looking for easy things. The very attractive to above average women on Tinder get to choose from the 9s and 10s on the male side (although I abhor rating people like this). The less attractive are there because it's easier than the real world.

 

Slow down...try to be friends first. And dude, you're in college. It is SO easy to meet people and find people to date there that you should just uninstall the apps for a while.

[SunnyWeather]

Hello

 

This is a long thread, so grab some chips or something

 

I'm 20, and all the girls l've been dating so far weren't my type, and I did dating them by lack of affection.

 

The last girl l've been with, I thought she was ugly, but somehow she did makes me feel so good, and I was really happy to have somebody in my life.

 

Except that, ultimately, dating someone you're not attracted to isn't fair, either to the person or to you.

 

Plus I can only imagine how great it must be to dating someone you're actually attracted to, both physically and emotionnaly. And it seems to happens to everyone but me.

 

The point is, I need to be wanted. I need the girl to show interest in my person, even if it's just a little.

 

I wouldn't make a move with a girl who doesn't even see me when I pass by.

 

If a girl do look at me, explicitely, even just for half a second, I go straight to her. Even if it's down the street or in the Subway.

 

The point is, the girls who actually did look at me are all 2/10-4/10.

I'm an average, decent looking men and I think I'm from 6 to 7, dependings on the days. But I might be wrong, more on that later.

 

L've been massively careful regarding my choice of pics, cause I know how bad it's important to have nice pics on Tinder.

Different places, different outfits, doing different things, different everything.

 

The girls I'm attracted to, 5/10-6/10, don't even sees me, or when they do actually know me they seems unable to see me in any romantic light.

 

L've been trying dozens of dating apps, but without any success.

I'm currently on Tinder, and since l've paid Tinder Gold I can see WHO did liked my profile.

 

And you guessed it, only 2/10-4/10 girls, and a MASSIVE load of guys.

 

Depressing

 

As I said earlier, I frequently go talks to girls on the street, which look like :

 

Me -Hey !

Her -Hey ?

Me -L've just seen you in the subway, and I really like your style, Maybe we could switch ours numbers and go for a coffee another day? I'm Daniel, 20 **Massive smile**

 

Her -No, sorry /or/ I have a boyfriend /or/ **Doesn't answer and run away**

 

So far I did get 2 numbers for 13 girls I talked to, The 1st girl was actually a lesbian and the second one can't figure when to date me because she's too busy and don't have time.

 

The point is, when you're actually attracted to someone you do make time, even when you don't have any.

 

SO, and that's why I'm here, I need to understand. Cause I'm really starting to think that I'm cursed.

 

[Picture links redacted]

 

I really, deeply think that there's something pretty obvious that I don't know, like that I'm actually ugly, or that I'm cursed, or that there's some magic formula that everyone does know but me.

 

I hope that it's not any of the above, but I want you to tell me, and to be sincere, that's why I'm here.

 

 

Perhaps if you didn't reduce people to numbers based solely on their looks you would be able to find someone mutually attracted to you.