grays Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 (edited) I’m not sure there’s any good answer to this, but here goes... I met this guy a year and a half ago. I’m an Uber driver and he and his friend got into my car, drunk, said they’d been drinking all day. I drove them around for three hours. During the ride, his friend, Joe, decides we should play this game — each taking turns telling sex stories. Well, sex is about my fave thing ever, so telling mine and hearing theirs seemed like a great way to pass the time. Joe and I told a bunch of stories. But Tony, the one I’ve been seeing, told none or almost none, just laughed at us. Soooo... first date (uber ride turned date, lol) and I had given a pretty good rundown of all of my interesting sexual exploits. I thought this guy had all the dirt on me and was fine with it. On our second date I kinda quizzed him about whether he wanted a girlfriend,and why not. At that point I firmly fwb-zoned him. He’s rarely in town, once or twice a month tops. So he would always, religiously it seemed, text me when his plane touched down here and for the most part I would drop everything to hang out with him. We didn’t talk about being exclusive except that he volunteered on several occasions that he wasn’t seeing anyone else or interested in seeing anyone else. I never said I would be exclusive and I don’t think he would ask me to because he’s here so infrequently. But now I’m actually a little concerned that he doesn’t get it because... I asked him the last time he was here about something that was said that first night in the car with his friend and it was a very memorable moment but he didn’t remember. So now I’m worried that he doesn’t remember *anything* from that night or maybe it was so fuzzy that he doesn’t remember the gist of it. All this time I’ve been under the impression that he knew all about my sexual history, but now I’m unsure. I thought it was pretty awesome that it didn’t bother him. So now I’m worried that he doesn’t know. I wouldn’t worry about it if it was still just a fwb-type thing, but it’s really more now. And I’m scared he’s gonna mention me to Joe at some point and Joe is gonna be like wtf, really, even after all that stuff she told us? What should I do, if anything? I think it would be fine for me to not tell a new guy in my life (I’ve been tested and am clean) or to tell (I’d rather whoever I was with to be fine with my history) but I’m scared that if I don’t tell him it’ll come up one day with Joe and he’ll be shocked. I don’t really want to tell him now because I don’t wanna rock the boat because I’m crazy over him. Edited November 10, 2018 by grays
mortensorchid Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 Well then ... Life certainly is strange isn't it? How you meet others, even if you are/were an Uber/Lyft driver (which I was once myself). But with that being said, rereading this story doesn't sound very ... Promising. If you are looking for a relationship, this is not going to be a very deep and meaningful one. Based on the circumstances he sounds like he wants a hook up when he's in town. If that's all you are looking for, then that's fine, but that doesn't seem like what you are looking for. And you will end up disappointed at some point when you want more than just a weekend here and there.
preraph Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 Your sexual history isn't anybody's business, really. And with guys, they get upset about even one if that one was better in bed than them. They get obsessed and can't stop thinking about it, so my advice is not to give them numbers or details. 1
Author grays Posted November 10, 2018 Author Posted November 10, 2018 Well then ... Life certainly is strange isn't it? How you meet others, even if you are/were an Uber/Lyft driver (which I was once myself). But with that being said, rereading this story doesn't sound very ... Promising. If you are looking for a relationship, this is not going to be a very deep and meaningful one. Based on the circumstances he sounds like he wants a hook up when he's in town. If that's all you are looking for, then that's fine, but that doesn't seem like what you are looking for. And you will end up disappointed at some point when you want more than just a weekend here and there. That’s not what I was trying to get at. But, it is actually pretty promising. I’ve been seeing him for a year and a half and the last 4 or 5 months things have felt really different. Awesome sex, but way heavier on the kissing and cuddling, and a lot more talking deeply, not just small talk. I’ve been just having a great time with him and feel it building. So a few weeks ago after spending the night with him and waking up to realize he’d been holding my hand all night long (I know it’s sappy to even notice that, but must admit it melted me) I texted him and told him that I used to think of him as a fwb but I’m not anymore and finding myself thinking about him a lot and I needed to know how he was feeling and that I could turn that off if needed. He said no, don’t stop, I feel it, too, and I want to see where it goes. Then a week later he came back to town just to see me, which I think he’s actually done a few times in recent months but this time was explicit about it. I’m not worried about what his feelings for me are right now. I’m only concerned that he might have forgotten the conversation in the car but that his friend probably remembers it.
LoverOfDance Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 If you're so worried about this, i think you should just talk to him. You are talking to the wrong person/ppl. You should be talking to him. If he is right for you, he won't care about your past. You'll have a new slate with him. If he is bothered by your past then he is not right for you. 2
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 I'm pretty sure Joe and him discussed what went down that night a few times. I think a year and a half later, he would have asked you about your past if he didn't remember. When we fall for someone our imaginations go wild with negative things about losing them. Relax you are worrying for nothing. Amp up the passion and the communication.... it will be a slam dunk. 1
Author grays Posted November 10, 2018 Author Posted November 10, 2018 I'm pretty sure Joe and him discussed what went down that night a few times. I think a year and a half later, he would have asked you about your past if he didn't remember. When we fall for someone our imaginations go wild with negative things about losing them. Relax you are worrying for nothing. Amp up the passion and the communication.... it will be a slam dunk. Yes! Yes! Yes! You’re totally right! Nerves were getting in the way of thinking clearly. If this had been me and my best friend with some Uber driver guy, there’s no chance we wouldn’t have been talking about it after. I’m sure they’re the same. Problem solved! 2
Ruby Slippers Posted November 10, 2018 Posted November 10, 2018 You're overthinking it. And overthinking is my specialty, so I know it when I see it I agree you're getting anxious because you're getting attached and more fearful of losing him. Just relax and allow the good stuff to unfold. 2
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