Mermaiden Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Hey guy Ive written about my situation here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t70067/ and here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/show...904#post565904 Quick synopsis: Had BF who was incredibly charming and talented, blah, blah, blah, who morphed into control freak but still held my interest as a friend. For him friendship meant I was his maid/gopher and he still wanted to help him with errands/chores EVEN after he got a girlfriend. I gave into his stressed life and ill health and helped him for several months, finally I put my foot down and he droppe dour friendship almost a month ago. Since then he called me once to ream me royally and say things were over forever. Well out of the blue he sent me a freaky email tonight. Read this and tell me if I should be creeped out and afraid of him ? Thanks guys email from ex: From: *********@****.com Subject: congratulations To: *********@*******.com congratulations.... you succeeded in f***ing up my entire life....my new job, my relationship, everything. You got me back for all the horrible things ive supposedly ever done or said to you, which you must have been planning or what you wanted all along. I'm sure you can move on now, knowing that you were able to so completely destroy me. It must give you a satisfying closure to know that you were able to have that much influence on my life. At least I know for sure that if you were going to build me up, just to take me down again... that theres no way you could have ever truly cared about me... you only cared about me and my life when you thought it affected yours. I admit, I am a true fool that I actually honestly believed you could never do the things you've already done. Just know that what you've done to me, now qualifies as almost surely the worst thing that anyone has done to me in my entire life... at least in terms of its consequence. Truy an epic betrayal. If you can live with yourself knowing that, then my only comfort is that you were never the person I hoped you were, and I am probably better off not knowing you then living the delusion that you actually truly ever gave a sh*t about me.
JerkAlert Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 He is unable to take care of himself and because you stopped helping him, he is unable to do anything for himself. Before he had someone to keep everything in his life in order but after you stopped, everything went to complete sh%& in his life. He doesn't want to take the blame so the best person to put the aim on is you. He wants to make you feel guilty for his lazy as&. It makes him feel better since he obviously doesn't want to see himself as an inept person. I would definitely stay away from this guy. He is a ticking time bob waiting to explode. Stear clear of him and don't even read his emails. He wants you to feel guilty, and in doing so, it is your duty to come back and pick him up again. Time to get some pepper spray.
bluechocolate Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Print the email out & keep it somewhere. Don't answer it. Block his email address & all of his phone numbers from your cell & home phones. Let him know, through a third party if you can, that he is NEVER to contact you again, in any way, shape or form and clearly you need to follow the same advice. Tell all your friends & family about this guy (if you haven't already). And tell them, or at least one person that you trust, every time he contacts or tires to make contact. Keep a record of everything & be prepared to go to the police -that may sound extreme (chances are it will never come to that) but if you're frightened then it's better to be proactive & safe now than sorry later.
Author Mermaiden Posted September 13, 2005 Author Posted September 13, 2005 He is unable to take care of himself and because you stopped helping him, he is unable to do anything for himself. Before he had someone to keep everything in his life in order but after you stopped, everything went to complete sh%& in his life. He doesn't want to take the blame so the best person to put the aim on is you. He wants to make you feel guilty for his lazy as&. It makes him feel better since he obviously doesn't want to see himself as an inept person. I would definitely stay away from this guy. He is a ticking time bob waiting to explode. Stear clear of him and don't even read his emails. He wants you to feel guilty, and in doing so, it is your duty to come back and pick him up again. Time to get some pepper spray. Yes what you say is totally on target. Since I live less than 100 feet away from him and only moved to this town because of him years ago, I've decided to keep a low profile and move away as soon as possible. He just called my voicemail a little while ago and informed me that I'm evil and the worst friend ever and how horrible it was for him to have to figure out how to take care of himself suddenly. And how even if I apologise for my horrible 'abandoning' of him that he will never ask for my help again. Because Im so heartless and selfish. Chilling.
Author Mermaiden Posted September 14, 2005 Author Posted September 14, 2005 I feel so worn out. My ex BF is still harassing me. Last night he texted that Im EVIL and he hopes I get fat and am barren and that he's sorry he ever knew me. I ignored the message. Then tonight he emailed me that I don;t care about him and for me to ''MOVE OUT OF HIS TOWN'' My family and my closest friends think contacting the police about him would make him worse and totally explode. I actually want to move away from this nut, but can't until feb/march 06 earliest. Does anyone think he'll give up and leave me alone if I ignore him ? Thanks guys.
Art_Critic Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 You need to start laying the groundwork to get rid of him legally.. You need to call the police and file a report of harrasment. This way you are starting to build the facts so that if you have to you can easily go get a RO Filing a report just makes it part of the record. The police may even call him and talk with him as well. Do It..Otherwise this will escalate and and you don't want to have to deal with his drama Oh.. Also save the voicemails and text messages to show the detective. This should get rid of this pest forever
Maria46 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I agree with Art. This should all be on record with the police department. If the police step in, which I believe they should, do you think the ex is stupid enough to continue. And if he is that stupid, the police will deal with him the way he needs to be dealt with Good luck
sundrop Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I would also check with your land lord and see if they will let you out of your lease early, expalin to them what is going on, but you don't want them to say anything to your ex because of your fear he may come after you. But if you are affraid of breaking your lease, I would check with your land lord to see if you can ge out of it early without penalty.. I would also file a complaint with the police department, to at least have it on file. He sounds like a complete idiot and I would be fearful.
lost_in_chgo Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 I agree with Art. This should all be on record with the police department. If the police step in, which I believe they should, do you think the ex is stupid enough to continue. And if he is that stupid, the police will deal with him the way he needs to be dealt with Good luck of course assuming that she's alive to appreciate it.. If you're going to report him to the police, Not tsaying you shouldn't), have somewhere else to stay for a couple nights, just in case he goes nuts. The move out of town thing could be construed as a threat. You haven't said that you told him to stop contacting you. Make sure you make this clear, as it factors into stalking complaints. Just going quiet is not the same as telling him not to contact you.
Gottabestrong Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 This guy is crazy. He hurls abuse at you and tells you you have ruined his entire life because you refuse to be his maid any longer? I agree with the others saying that you should file a complaint with the police. Also ask them what they suggest you do as they have experience with crazy stalker-exes. I think Chicago is right and you should tell him to stop contacting you. Tell him by email that you dont want him to contact you anymore in any shape or form. Keep the email and the record that shows when you sent it to him, in case you need proof later on. I am afraid he is not going to disappear just because you ignore him. I ignored my ex and his contacts only got more intense with every day I did not reply. In the end I was scared he might develop into a stalker and so I broke NC to tell him that I am good (he kept insisting to hear how I was) and that he should not worry about me and have a good life. Luckily he gave up after that and did not turn into a stalker. I am afraid your ex is a different case. I also recommend you sleep for a few days at a friend's or relative's place, after you told him to leave you alone. Preferably one he does not know about. I am sure these messages are driving you crazy, so please change your phonenumber and email address. Once you dont hear from him anymore, you will feel better. I wish I had better advice. Please take care of yourself and talk to the police.
Author Mermaiden Posted September 15, 2005 Author Posted September 15, 2005 Yeah it looks like Ill have to protect myself and put something on record. I suppose I have little faith in a restraining order containing him, Because the diabolic ex called me at 1 AM and said if I accuse him of anything that he'll 'make my life a living hell' since he knows everything about me and will 'twist it' to make everyone hate me and lose my job. He also mumbled something about telling people I was abusing my beloved pomeranians and get them taken away. Yes, he knows how much they mean to me and he is PURE EVIL INCARNATE. I have to start carrying a tape recorder with me. And pepper spray. My life has officially turned into a bad Lifetime movie.
Maria46 Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 make sure you keep a log of phone calls with time and what he says. Document everything!!
bluechocolate Posted September 15, 2005 Posted September 15, 2005 ...diabolic ex called me at 1 AM and said if I accuse him of anything that he'll 'make my life a living hell' since he knows everything about me and will 'twist it' to make everyone hate me and lose my job. Mermaiden, maybe he will just fizzle out of his own accord, but right now he's threatening you. He may already be breaking the law.
Author Mermaiden Posted September 20, 2005 Author Posted September 20, 2005 Well I turned the tables on my ex bf using a perverse form of reverse psychology. I spent an entire day calling him several days ago and told him that I wanted him to break up with his new girlfriend and for us to get married very soon and start having kids as soon as possible. I forced myself to sound very frantic and frenetic. It worked very well. He said he was so sorry but that he is going to concentrate on his new girlfriend and he does not want to even think about having kids for a long while. He said I should go look for someone else and that he'll give me a call but he was very busy with many things going on. :laugh: ROFL. FREE AT LAST.
Gottabestrong Posted September 20, 2005 Posted September 20, 2005 Wow, that sounds great. I am very happy for you. Congratulations....
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