CarbonCopy Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 So I met a guy on Bumble about 2-2.5 weeks ago. He's 34, I'm 33. Our first date was last Tuesday at a local restaurant/bar. We had some apps, a drink and spent the evening talking. It went really well. Since then I have seen him three more times -- dinner last Saturday, dinner last Sunday, and dinner last night (he's been working literally every day on a work projects so no day dates for now). Yes, we have had sex. Last night when we met for dinner, he drove me to see his grandma's old house afterwards, which was in the area. Then we went back to his place and literally just watched tv and talked for several hours -- no sexual activity at all (he had worked a 12 hour day). He asked me if I wanted to hang out over the weekend and we decided we'd go to the movies on Saturday. I have not actually dated a guy in so long that I don't even know what I'm doing. Is this progressing well? I will be honest in saying I have a second date set up with a guy tonight, but my heart just isn't in, despite him being a great guy. I really really like the Bumble guy and it seemingly looks like he likes me as well. Should I keep dating other guys? Should I ask the Bumble guy if he's dating other people? I'd rather not date multiple people but I'm just so paranoid this is going to blow up in my face, even though it's been going really well so far. Please help!!!
RedHead5 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Keep the date tonight but if you aren't feeling him after this one, don't make another. Sounds like things are going well with the Bumble guy but I wouldn't delete my dating apps or ask about exclusivity yet. If you are still dating others, possibility he is too. I'd give him a chance to stop talking to anyone else too. If things are still going at the same pace around a month, I would ask if he was seeing anyone else. And that is assuming that both of you are looking for a LTR as a goal.
Gretchen12 Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 When I was dating online I would remove my profile pretty early on so that there're no complications. I'd definitely only see one man at a time if I'm having sex. Even if I'm not having sex with the other guy, what if he tries to kiss me? There shall be no exchange of bodily fluids between 3 people. At some point you have to choose one guy. But if bumble guy doesn't work out, the other guy may not take you back. Whereas if you hadn't multidated and instead meet the other guy later on, it might work out. You see why it's important to remove yourself from the dating site. You can always get back on the site later. Should you ask him to stop seeing other women? I don't think people end up doing what you ask just because you asked it. They do what they do.
Lotsgoingon Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 Well congrats on meeting someone you like. I'll be honest though: I don't think you guys can sustain that pace, and I think you're really pushing things to spend this many nights with someone you've just really met. I know (or I assume) you guys are having a blast ... But OMG, back-to-back nights together ... Be careful ... sounds like too much time too soon. The danger of spending so much time so early on--before you really know each other is that you both will likely edit yourselves to avoid problems, avoid conflict ... to keep things smooth. You don't know each other well enough to relax into being individuals ... So you present your best side ... which is fine ... but with dates and movies and walks ... we gradually show more of ourselves. So you're acting like a couple madly in love ... but likely you can't sustain this level of intensity. What's wrong with a few nights out a week ... and conversations in between? There's literally no rush here. Just me three cents.
Dis Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 I think things are going well with the Bumble guy so don't get nervous yet The only thing I'm worried about with him is the fact you guys had sex early on. People will tell you that won't matter but IMO, it can be a fatal mistake. There's countless threads on LS about the guy ghosting the girl after sex early on. For whatever reason, it happens a lot. If you're comfortable enough to share bodily fluids with someone, you should be comfortable enough to ask him if he's dating other people. Me personally? I think it's yucky to have sex with a person who could be possibly doing the same with others. If you wanted casual sex, fine. But if you want something more, up your standards and self worth and don't have sex too early. Guys like the build up, they like knowing the girl they're with doesn't sleep around. So if it doesn't work with this guy, next time, wait. I've rarely heard of a relationship not working out when waiting to have sex, but I've heard countless stories about guys ghosting women after early sex. Go on the date with the second guy. I know what you mean though, I was never a multidater myself. Once I caught feelings, that was it. But in reality, it's not too smart to put all your eggs in one basket so keep your options open. And with the premature sex followed by ghosting curse here on LS, keep your net wide Wishing you the best of luck
alphamale Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 you have known this guy for 14 days and you're already naming the children? wtf!! 2
Author CarbonCopy Posted November 9, 2018 Author Posted November 9, 2018 Well congrats on meeting someone you like. I'll be honest though: I don't think you guys can sustain that pace, and I think you're really pushing things to spend this many nights with someone you've just really met. I know (or I assume) you guys are having a blast ... But OMG, back-to-back nights together ... Be careful ... sounds like too much time too soon. The danger of spending so much time so early on--before you really know each other is that you both will likely edit yourselves to avoid problems, avoid conflict ... to keep things smooth. You don't know each other well enough to relax into being individuals ... So you present your best side ... which is fine ... but with dates and movies and walks ... we gradually show more of ourselves. So you're acting like a couple madly in love ... but likely you can't sustain this level of intensity. What's wrong with a few nights out a week ... and conversations in between? There's literally no rush here. Just me three cents. Well, I agree, I've seen a lot already in such a short time! But it sort of just happened? I wasn't planning on seeing him back-to-back. But he randomly invited me to dinner Sunday night so I figured why not? I had a lovely time and don't regret it. So far this week I've seen him Wednesday and I'm seeing him Saturday. We talk every day in between dates. I agree, there's no rush, but we're just going with the flow and so far this is how it's shaping out. 1
Recommended Posts