lindya Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Excellent insight Thanks Outcast I just never really understand people who say they hate to be alone. The only time I ever feel really bored is when I'm in the company of people I don't particularly want to spend time with. It stands to reason that I'd rather spend the rest of my life as Spinster Lindya than face the prospect of endless evenings watching a husband I never really clicked with picking at his toenails and swearing at the television.
tanbark813 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Like some of the other women who've posted on this thread, I belong to the first category. I'd much rather be on my own than with someone I only felt 50% about. Always have felt that way, and can't really imagine it changing - however old and decrepit I might get. Well not to split hairs but doesn't that mean exactly what ALPHA posted in the first place: When they say this to you it really means "I'm not looking for a relationship right now WITH YOU" In either case the person giving the "I'm not looking for a relationship" line just means not with the person to which the statement is said. You're arguing with ALPHA but coming to the same conclusion.
clynn Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Yes, I've said this. 1) Sometimes, because it is true. I am not ready for a relationship. I might want to date the person casually, but not seriously. having said that, I may decide somewhere along the way that I AM interested in something more serious. I also might decide that I don't. 2) I've also said it as a polite let-down. in that case, however, I won't offer up any physical affection or behave at all girlfriend or date like. Just friends. I'm usually pretty clear about that.
Kitteney Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Nope. I have never said those words. I've always said something along the lines of, "Sorry, this just isn't going to go anywhere." No sense in beating around the bush because time's a wastin' and I ain't getting any younger.
hoppy28 Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 kittney.................finally!!!!! someone who can atliest be honest. ive never understood why women especially just cant be honest about not wanting to be with someone. just tell them "it aint going to work".
fundamental Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 Nobody wants to let the perfect person go, if she's smart she'll take it really slow. If she's truly not ready and he is Mr. Right she'll be smart enough to know that she'll only end up screwing up the relationship if she tries for it when she's dealing with too many other issues. I agree with this.
RainyDayWoman Posted September 13, 2005 Posted September 13, 2005 maybe JS17....but isn't it funny that soon as MR. RIGHT comes along all of a sudden the female in question is ready for a relationship i don't think it's funny, i think it makes sense. if a woman was just looking for a relationship, she wouldn't have to wait for "mr. right." i wasn't looking for a relationship while i was dating almost 2 year ago. i had just gotten out of an 8 yr relationship and wanted my time and space, no string attatched. then i met someone i wanted to be with, about a year later. now we're together. so essentially, finding him changed my outlook on the subject, and then i was ready for a relationship with him. so actually, it found me when i wasn't looking for it. which seems to be the way it goes sometimes. also, BigB, this could be hope for you...because i didn't jump into a relationship with this guy, but i knew it was worth a shot to see what was going to happen. i did tell him "i'm not looking for a relationship right now" but he was the only one i dated with any intention of getting serious with. he was patient with me, and it worked.
shamen Posted September 14, 2005 Posted September 14, 2005 Hi BigB, I've said this when I've meant it. Usually it's about timing. Just got out of a long relationship, and I just wasn't ready. I know that this is reiterating what some other people have said, but I just wanted to remind you that sometimes it really just is about timing and it can be the truth. I've even said this to guys that I WAS into, but I knew that I wouldn't be a good match for them at the time because I was messed up. When I'm not into the guy, I tend to tell him the truth. Not interested. However, I would imagine that some women do indeed use this line to state that they aren't into the relationship with you (whomever that is), as ALPHA put it.
Author BigB Posted September 14, 2005 Author Posted September 14, 2005 Thanks everyone, I'll try to post an update if/when I know more.
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