Sky222 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Does sex on the first date kill the chances Of having a relationship?
basil67 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Does sex on the first date kill the chances Of having a relationship? I had sex with my partner of over 25 years on the day we met. Thing is, it doesn't kill chances, but don't expect anything to come from it either. If a person is likely to get upset that it didn't lead to anything, they are better off not risking it. 4
snowboy91 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 For the most part, no. But nor does it guarantee a relationship. I'll put it to you this way though: If someone judges you negatively for having sex on the first date and decides not to have a relationship with you, is that really the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with? 3
basil67 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Depends how good the sex is! Oh yeaaah. That may have had something to do with it 1
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Depends on the people involved. Some people are very judgy & even though they had sex too they view you hypocritically & decide you are too "easy" & therefore not relationship material. I think that is rubbish but it does happen. Other people just think, this is a great. Like some posters also pointed out if the sex was bad that could be a factor. 2
thefooloftheyear Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 All other posters correct...Yes, it can have no real bearing on the direction moving forward.. But its a question that is pretty common around here, so there must be something potentially to be concerned over.. Thing is this... Its highly unlikely anything negative will come from waiting....How long is just dependent on how long it takes for two people to feel comfortable enough with that person to do it...One night usually isn't enough for most people...If a person is a decent person, they wont mind waiting, even if they didn't really expect to.... Heck, I have even known guys that would ghost out on women that put out on first dates...The assumption being that they have no self control, therefore aren't considered "good girls"...Yeah, I know about the double standard here, again just reporting what I have heard over the years.. On the other hand, stories abound of things that crashed and burned from first night sex.. For a variety of reasons...You will read plenty of them if you hang around here enough...I don't think I have ever read a single post that said something bad occurred from people that delayed sex for a predetermined time...unless it was unreasonable, of course.. At the end of the day, its your life and your choice..... If you feel its right, then you should go with your gut... TFY 3
Mrs._December Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 I've heard many, many, MANY guys over the years talk about how they got lucky on a first date or had a one-night-stand with a girl they met in a bar, etc. And every single one of them - regardless of their age - said the same exact thing when asked if they were going to see that woman again: "if she was that easy with me, then she's that easy with anyone." Quite honestly, it seems to be pretty common in message board land for guys to claim they're totally fine being with a woman they had sex with 4 hours after meeting for the first time, so it's happening somewhere. But I really don't know any guys who are happy to do this (or at least, will ADMIT to having done it). LOL. 4
Happy Lemming Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 For the most part, no. If I may "second" this post... I had one rather long term relationship with a woman that I slept with on the first date. And YES, the sex was GREAT!! A couple of years down the road, I asked her why she slept with me on the first date. She told me she liked me a lot and wanted a second date with me. She had confidence in her skillz in the bedroom, so she knew I would be back for more. She was correct. 2
smackie9 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Most of the time it does. There are threads on here seem to say so. Of course there are those who are open to it so you take your chances. 1
5x5 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) Does sex on the first date kill the chances Of having a relationship? Yes and no, it depends upon the people involved and how the sex was etc. I had sex with my first wife circa a couple of hours after meeting her, at the party I met her at. The next day we just kept going together, it helped that we really liked each other, enjoyed the sex and both of us thought the other was beautiful. I had sex with my current (2nd) wife on our third date. That said we had our first two dates on the same day. With us sleeping together at the end of the second date. Which included, plenty of petting and talking, then followed it with sex on our third date. While my third longest and third most significant sexual relationship, was with a woman I had sex with at the end of our second date. Most of the women I have been with, I had sex with them just after meeting them. With the quickest being within minutes. That said for most of them it didn't lead to ongoing relationships, although I did continue dating some of them for a short while. Edited November 8, 2018 by 5x5 1
RecentChange Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 My husband and I had sex on the first date. That was a little over 18 years ago. I have also had one night stands. I know couples who had sex on the first date, and went on to date for months, years, or even marriage. Like others said, it depends on the people involved. Their attitudes etc.
kendahke Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Does sex on the first date kill the chances Of having a relationship? It can-it all depends on the people involved and what their intentions are. By and large, yes, sex on the first date will kill future interest because they found out what they came to find out because they had no intention on taking things any further than an orgasm. 1
SmartDude Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Does sex on the first date kill the chances Of having a relationship? No, but having a relationship will definitely kill your chances for first time sex while out on a date. 2
5x5 Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 No, but having a relationship will definitely kill your chances for first time sex while out on a date. That hasn't been my experience, your mileage may vary of course.
Highndry Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 You can't possibly know the first thing about a person on the first date. A woman who sleeps with a guy on the first date is a huge risk-taker. Definitely not my cup of tea. I like a woman who is more selective.
Lorenza Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 I think that if you're having sex on a first date, you must automatically assume it's just a one time thing. It might evolve into fwb or similar arrangement. And in rare exceptions it might turn into something serious. Personally, I don't take that risk, but then again, I'm never attracted enough after just one date. Maybe some people meet and just know everything's there and there's no point in waiting. It's a personal thing 1
Andy_K Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 And every single one of them - regardless of their age - said the same exact thing when asked if they were going to see that woman again: "if she was that easy with me, then she's that easy with anyone." A lot of guys have that attitude... but it's pretty naive to be honest. Almost every girl out there has had a fling or ONS and some point, or at least gone through a phase of having more casual relationships. Assuming a girl who sleeps with you on the first date does the same thing all the time with others is as foolish as assuming a girl who doesn't sleep with you on the first date has never done it with anyone else either. Personally, if I have a choice between knowing she did sleep with me early and might have done the same with others, and knowing she didn't sleep with me early but might have with others, I prefer the first option. At least that way I know there's genuine two-way sexual attraction. That's something to build on. Assuming someone acts the same way around you as they do everyone else they've met is a sure way to end up dating someone who doesn't think you're anything special.
thefooloftheyear Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 To use an analogy.... As a guy, you wouldn't want to go on a first date with a woman to TGI Friday's with a 2 for 1 coupon, no? You wouldn't because you would look like a cheap ass, and she'll lose respect for you in no time.. But, if you were with that same woman for a year or two, then the 2 for 1 date night at Friday's would be great...Save a few bucks, have a good time and head home.. The early process of getting to know someone is generally not the same as what people do when they are established...Generally, different rules may apply...Smart women know that most men want to believe that they are very selective with who they sleep with...Even if they aren't...So they play that hand... At the end of the day, its up to the individual...But I think there's sound logic in adhering to some of these 'rules"...Like I said, its unlikely you would ever be judged negatively for it, whereas the other way, its entirely possible that you might, be it fair or not... .02 TFY 1
central Posted November 9, 2018 Posted November 9, 2018 No. However, I think that having sex on a first date is usually a poor choice. As much as I like sex, I dated a lot of women - once. Some were fine with sex on the first date and pushed for it, some weren't, but I thought it tacky - as well as risky! - to have sex with someone I had no wish to see again. If they are worth seeing again, and the second date is going well, too, then sex is an option. 1
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