pedens001 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Ok i have a question for everyone out there for why when ppl get into relationships they pretty much abandon their friends it seems very immature... A girl i've been talking to on the net as friends back and forth for a few months now all of a sudden doesn't IM me and when I do its always "I'm busy" or "not now"....Thats a real nice way to talk to someone who gave u advice on whether or not she should pursue this guy and whatnot...I'm about ready to just go ahead and write her a message saying that I don't take kindly to the way she messages me and she can IM me when she's ready to admit she's wrong... I think this is why we have people(guys) on here whining and carrying on about being a nice guy and not getting anywhere, does anyone agree with me that if I don't say anything thats classic pushover, nice guyness..I dont' want anything to do with her but casual conversation but when I'm blown off like that I don't like it and am goin to say something...I'm a nice person by all means but I sure know where to draw the line and when I step up and say something I make sure I'm understood..Thats being assertive I'm standing up for myself and letting ppl know I don't like that crap.. So what do u guys think, am I right to just IM her and say u know what we're done here u blow me off like this and I'm finished with u your wasting my time goodbye and end it at that.. How would u feel if your friends just all of a sudden blow u off for some girl or guy, I mean it would make them feel bad if the relationship went south and they've got no one to turn to for support..karma i guess..what do u guys think?..thanks in advance
Link-80 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 She sounds like a real wench. Prove to her you're not gonna take any crap. Burn her house down.
mixwell Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Sorry to burst your bubble but thats how it is when you start dating. You have to devote time to your friends and your new partner.. You are always going to have to sacrifice time with your friends. Unless you can find a really cool girl that you can take out with the boys all the time, but I doubt they will be down for that and im sure it will get old quick.. There are times to be with your partner and times to be with just your friends. Its nothing personal against you but thats just how it goes. Seems like with me my friends complained that I didn't hang out with them enough and my (now ex) gf would complain that I didn't spend enough time with her.. Its a lose lose situation. Peace
littlekitty Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 We alll blow off our friends to a point when we start a new relationship. The fact is that the ones that really matter will still get made time for, but will also understand that you want some time with your new partner, and will be ok with that, and love and support you as always. My friends and I have always treated each other with that love and respect. We still spoke as frequently, just understood that in the initial few weeks/months, we might have a little less contact. I think the thing is here, that often people don't treat their 'internet only' buddies like they do the 'real life' mates. You're not actively in thier life, therefore, I'm afraid you are more likely to get pushed aside than people who they normally divide their time between. Almost like you're a bandaid, just filling time when they are bored and alone. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I know people that think this way.
bluechocolate Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 Put yourself in her place, better yet, her b/friends place. There's your girlfriend, online, chatting with some guy you've never met. My guess is you wouldn't like it. Besides, if she's just a net buddie I don't see why you should feel so betrayed by her. As littlekitty says: often people don't treat their 'internet only' buddies like they do the 'real life' mates
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