thebiglimp Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 i know it's already a closed chapter at the moment, but i'd like to send her one last request for a date, and would like to know what you guys think the best approach would be. backstory is that we had a wonderful first date, kiss at the end, and then i lost my cool and scared her off with my neediness on text. here's the last text exchange. me: i know youre not interested in me but i just wanna believe that its cuz you dont wanna get hurt. im just wanting to prove to you im someone who would never do that, and that's why my messges are coming across confusing. me: im sorry if im being bothersome. it's just that i've never met anyone quite like you. her : That’s very sweet. Thank you her : I talk too much (indifferent) her (4hrs after she opened my last message): Sorry I just have a lot on my mind me : Me too me : Um, do you want me to call you tonite? me : Plz disregard that question (embarrassed) her : I have a lot going on. Please understand me : Ill let you be me : Sorry so... i know it's pretty much over, but i'm thinking of sending a casual 'hey how about a coffee?' out of the blue next week. or do you guys know of a better approach? it's more for my piece of mind than anything...
ChatroomHero Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 i know youre not interested in me but i just wanna believe that its cuz you dont wanna get hurt. Plz disregard that question (embarrassed) Ill let you be Sorry That is so weak and cringeworthy, I am embarrassed to just read it. Anything else you send to her will reflect poorly on all men worldwide. If she doesn't actually hate you now, send her one more text and she will.
Larry56 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 There is no better approach unfortunately. There is nothing you can say at all (apart from going no-contact) that would get her to react any differently. You're looking for the right words or mindset that would make her change her mind about you. Unfortuantely there is nothing you can do if you've only met once and she's already decided. If a woman isn't interested after one date...99.9% of the time she isn't going to become attracted to you further. I suspect you've taken her ramblings about not wanting to be in a relationship as her needing 'time' to get over her ex or something like that. Alot of women instead of owning up to the fact that they don't like a guy and just telling him the cold hard truth...is to give a 'soft-truth' that she's 'going through 'alot' right now' and so you manage to interpret that as 'she just needs time to warm up to me'. Women think you'll just get it and give up...That's what she's expecting you to do. Best to let this go and focus on another.
Jamess1 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Men lack mentors, or even role models that can show them what it mens to be a man...there is an unspoken war against men and masculinity-many forums directly reject advice that is 'male' oriented-they want 'female' oriented advice-and you wonder why there is an increase a male suicides.. im just wanting to prove to you im someone who would never do that, and that's why my messges are coming across confusing. The "I am different from other guys" mindset doesn't work, stop trying to be different, just be you and go for what you want. im sorry if im being bothersome Stop apologizing, your perception doesn't say anything about the situation or her, it says something about you and the 'stories in you' : why do you think you are bothering people by talking to them ? Why do you feel the need to apologize ? You hv a Mr Nice guy syndrome. me : Um, do you want me to call you tonite? me : Plz disregard that question (embarrassed) You are asking for something that you have already denied yourself, your mindset is that 'she is doing me a favor, she is special, I am not'...an attractive mindset is, 'I am doing her a favor, I am fun to talk to, I am enjoying her because I deserve to enjoy women' The problem here is self love. . . I already know your childhood from these messages of yours... The problem is not internal, it's not even about getting the girl - all I have to don is work on you, and girls will just an obvious thing, an easy thing..
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 You can't have what you want. She wants you out of her life while you want to see her one more time. The more you chase & beg, the farther & faster she will run. Leave her alone before you end up on the wrong side of a restraining order.
rightondude Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 "hey how bout a coffee?" SEND THAT AND EXACTLY THAT. QUIT APOLOGIZING AND ACTING LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT SHE'S THINKING. Quit stammering and trying to "do what's best" for her. Just put you out there and then back off. I doubt she will reply but this is your best and only shot here.
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