speedyturtle Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) so, it's been 3 months since the breakup and a week short of 3 months of NC. i haven't heard anything from my ex but i received a message from my ex's "classmate" asking if my ex and i still talk because he's been looking for him. i told him no, we didn't talk anymore and to find him on facebook maybe. he ignored my suggestion and told me how he asked my ex bf 2 weeks ago if he was single and my ex said yes and was miserable but didn't want me back as of now and that i had to be the one to reach out he said sorry for the questioning bye. i tried to emphasize his statement of my ex saying he wanted me to reach out as I was speechless. he told me to just text my ex bf. i didn't respond and he blocked me. um, what just happened...? i tried searching up this guy but he has no social media connections to my ex bf. surely he would think to exchange some sort of contact with my ex for class-related issues and not reach out to me, his ex gf. this sounded like a trap intended for me to break NC but i'm not sure. i mean.. if my ex bf told him this 2 weeks ago, why would he be bringing it up now.. even if he is really looking for my ex, he didn't take my suggestion or continue to ask for ways to getting in contact with him. sounded as if "looking for my ex bf" was just an excuse to get to the main part of the conversation, "you've got to reach out to him" my question is, do dumpers ever make fake accounts to trap the dumpee into breaking NC? my ex is super prideful so i would never in a billion years think that he would do this. my friends that i've told think are equally confused as they wouldn't think my ex to be the type to do this either. however, why would a stranger or even a close friend go to the extent of making a fake account to mess with me or get me to rekindle with my ex? anyone have any thoughts as to whether this could be my ex, his friend, or an actual classmate? Edited November 7, 2018 by speedyturtle
Redhead14 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) I have no idea. But why does it matter? Ex is Ex. His business is his business and if someone wants to find him, that's their problem. Are you thinking he's made some odd "grand" gesture to get you to come back to him and rekindle? Whether, its a classmate or if it's the ex, don't reach out. Stay no contact and keep moving. If you're thinking it's the ex trying to trick you, don't fall for the trick. Do you really want to reconnect with a coward and a sneak. If the guy really wanted you, he knows how to find you and he would do it like a man instead of a 12 year old passing a note through a friend in school to a crush. Edited November 8, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote 1
Author speedyturtle Posted November 8, 2018 Author Posted November 8, 2018 yes i definitely agree with you in sticking to NC. whether it was a trick or not i knew to not fall for it which is why i didn't reply to that guy nor did i reach out to my ex like he told me to. it's definitely cowardly for him to do that if it was him. i think i'm just asking for opinions because i found it so odd. i was doing so well in NC and when i got these messages, it really messed with my head and i know discussing it here won't really do much since it's not him directly reaching out to me but it just got me really confused cause it was definitely out of the blue. but that's also the thing, i don't think it's an actual classmate since he ignored my suggestion and never brought up that topic of how to find my ex again. the context of the conversation just seemed very fishy
Redhead14 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 (edited) it just got me really confused -- You aren't confused, Speedy. A confused person would have reached out to the Ex Edited November 8, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote
Author speedyturtle Posted November 8, 2018 Author Posted November 8, 2018 lol you're right. i'm just stumped i guess. thank you for your reply 1
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 my question is, do dumpers ever make fake accounts to trap the dumpee into breaking NC? Perhaps if they are extremely immature, yes. But if that's the case, it's best to stay broken up anyway.
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 If your EX did all that aren't you glad he's an EX? That is just ludicrous. Somebody who would do that has a crew lose. Be happy he's out of your life. You gave factual & polite responses. Hold you head up high but move on. 1
Gretchen12 Posted November 8, 2018 Posted November 8, 2018 Instead, I would bold this part of what "classmate" said: "but didn't want me back as of now". What kind of a dumper wants to get in touch but not get back together? The kind that wants to use you for more sex. Even threw in an "as of now"? Anyway, I don't think it's the ex, and if it is, the guy is cruel, selfish, conniving, and stupid.
Author speedyturtle Posted November 8, 2018 Author Posted November 8, 2018 gretchen12, lol that's exactly what i thought. why would you tell me to reach out if my "ex" told you he didn't want me back at that moment? i honestly don't think it's my ex either but from what my friends said, they don't understand why it would be a stranger since they have nothing to gain so it seems to be most likely a close friend of my ex. perhaps, my ex had no knowledge of this until after it was done. however, if it were me i wouldn't go to the extent of making a fake account to message a close friend's ex just to get them to reach out, i'd straight up just message them with my real account if i wanted them to speak to each other again
Author speedyturtle Posted November 23, 2018 Author Posted November 23, 2018 just an update. it's been 3 weeks since i received that message from my ex's "classmate". 2 days ago, he unblocked me and messaged me again, apologizing saying he mistook me for HIS ex. That's the most bs excuse ever.. After I called him out on him being wishy washy about his messages and how it all doesn't add up, he claims that he was drunk when he messaged me the first time and then diverts the conversation to asking me why I haven't reached out to my ex yet. Unless this person was my ex or a close friend of his, there's no way he would've known that I haven't reached out (& I definitely don't plan to, I'm sticking to NC). he then asks me who this guy was that I tagged in my last picture (it was a photographer friend of mine) and said he was asking out of curiosity. the more he talked the more sketchy and ridiculous it sounded. he then tried to end the conversation by saying "yeah, sorry, bye i dont think your ex will text you since he's trying to move on" after he got that answer related to my guy friend out of me. he then blocked me again and changed his whole instagram username, picture, bio to an account about "love quotes". i'm so speechless, what is going on
Haru-no-yuki Posted November 23, 2018 Posted November 23, 2018 after he got that answer related to my guy friend out of me. he then blocked me again and changed his whole instagram username, picture, bio to an account about "love quotes". i'm so speechless, what is going on Does your ex have mental problems (serious question)? He's probably watching your social media and getting jealous. Sometimes I think dumpers actually end up have more deep-seated issues that last longer than the dumpee. Best to ignore and just keep doing your own thing.
Author speedyturtle Posted November 24, 2018 Author Posted November 24, 2018 @haru-no-yuki no i'm sure he doesn't? we've dated for 2 years and there's never been signs of anything negative related to his mental health. i've heard that dumpers do feel the breakup a lot later so maybe it's kicking in now but i'm not sure if dumpers ever get so sad/desperate to the point where they do this? i'm just so shocked because all of this fake account thing is not like my ex at all. he was never one to be insecure or the jealous type which is why i'm in such disbelief. a friend of mine thinks it's because he's too embarrassed to reach out since he probably now realizes that he dumped me so hurtfully. but yes i'm going to continue to do my own thing. also, my birthday is coming up in 2 weeks so we'll see if this account (be it my ex or a close friend of his) tries any more funny business.
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