DId i just close the door on reconciliation?

[awnoway]

so my gf of 5 months (we were friendly acquaintances for 2 years before that) & i broke up a few weeks ago. i saw her a few days after with i guess a friend i thought she was dating then freaked out on her roommate about it (which i apologized to her for later) but that was the only time i lost my cool.

 

after i apologized for my behavior we started talking again but then when we finally had a phone call she was MEAN as hell & i couldn’t get her to meet me to talk face-to-face. in hindsight, i probably tried to make her laugh too much on the phone, but yeah she got super mean. so we kinda stopped talking after that

 

UNTIL she started sending me breadcrumbs (pics of her work, herself, etc) but would not engage me in conversation when i replied to her. this went on for a few days until finally today i messaged her & asked her to stop messaging me unless her intention was actually talking to me & having a conversation. she said “Okay” & i haven’t heard from her since.

 

i want us to reconcile, we had so much fun & got along really well. we broke-up because i was not honest about my needs or feelings & she started drifting away. by the time i did put my feelings on the table she was pretty much like “no thankssss”

 

was it good that i told her to not contact me unless she wants to actually talk or were her breadcrumbs her own attempt at slowly reestablishing Contact?

 

at the end of the day i’m looking for a reconciliation between us. she’s a good person that i care a lot about

[d0nnivain]

You didn't close the door to reconciliation. It has never been open. Especially if she wanted out, no matter how much you want to get back together, break ups always default to who wants out. If you broke up with her, her present behavior indicates that she no longer trusts you not to hurt her again so she's not interested.

 

Either way you need to implement NC & start your only healing after recognize that it's over for good.

[ExpatInItaly]

I agree with d0nnivain. She hadn't opened the door to reconciliation anyway, OP.

 

The texts and selfies were simply her looking for attention. Given her response when you wisely asked her to stop unless she wanted to talk about getting back together, it is clear she wasn't looking for anything more than an ego-boost from you.

[awnoway]

thanks for the insight. so this is really a ball’s totally in her court situation, yes? since i made it clear i am not interested in hearing from her unless she wants to talk to me

 

i myself am in the process of letting go but am open to a reconciliation & more open communication

[d0nnivain]

What you actually did was exercise some self respect. You explained that she can't trifle with you. That is a good thing.

[awnoway]

i’m kind of second guessing whether i went about things the right way. what if she never reaches out because of the conditions i laid down??

 

she’s very subtle in her communication sometimes, so i’m not so sure i executed what i wanted to happen in the right way

[basil67]

Yes, you did things the right way. From what I'm seeing, she's got no desire to reconcile so your rule simply showed that you're strong and have boundaries.