Sm12345 Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 We’d been talking on Bumble (a dating app here in North America), and she sent me a few flirty photos, so I sent a couple back. Nothing too crazy. This morning she was working from home, and lives quite close, and I didn’t have to be anywhere, so I went over to her place. We hung out for a bit, then made out. Then had sex. I’m not really the sex on the first date type, and I made it clear that I was interested in getting to know her too, and not just interested in her for sex (which is 100% true.) It’s early days, but she definitely seems fun and interesting. So how do I slow this train down, and get back into dating mode, instead of sex on the first meeting mode? After we slept together, we talked about more serious stuff like work, our childhoods and her three year old daughter. I get the feeling she could be girlfriend material, if I can get things back on track here. Comments, criticism, suggeations.
Noproblem Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 I would ask her out to meet in public from now on until you seem ready to have sex again. 1
Andy_K Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 For about 99% of girls willing to sleep with you on the first date, doing so doesn't prevent you from being seen as LTR material. I've yet to ever meet one who judges their potential partners on this the way many guys do. Just date her normally. No need to overthink this, the most important thing you can do is act normally, and stay calm and confident, not freak out that she might be getting the wrong impression.
sabaton Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 We’d been talking on Bumble (a dating app here in North America), and she sent me a few flirty photos, so I sent a couple back. Nothing too crazy. This morning she was working from home, and lives quite close, and I didn’t have to be anywhere, so I went over to her place. We hung out for a bit, then made out. Then had sex. I’m not really the sex on the first date type, and I made it clear that I was interested in getting to know her too, and not just interested in her for sex (which is 100% true.) It’s early days, but she definitely seems fun and interesting. So how do I slow this train down, and get back into dating mode, instead of sex on the first meeting mode? After we slept together, we talked about more serious stuff like work, our childhoods and her three year old daughter. I get the feeling she could be girlfriend material, if I can get things back on track here. Comments, criticism, suggeations. you having sex with a woman doesn't usually suddenly invalidate you as a potential partner in her eyes, just like it doesn't do the same to a man who is confident and isn't afraid she does it with every other guy. And if she does - what seems to be the problem?
BaileyB Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 Indeed. Ask her on a date and she will learn that you are interested in getting to know her more... Plan something fun. 1
ar1489 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 I would ask her out to meet in public from now on until you seem ready to have sex again. ask her out for dinner or drinks or something. do NOT have sex with her after this date lol. she needs to see that you are actually interested in getting to know her. If you guys keep hooking up, even if you are simultaneously dating, she may end up confused about what your intentions are. go on several more dates before you hook up again. it will be really reassuring for you both. 1
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