LittleLuu Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 I have been talking to this guy on and off for over 2 months. We hadn't talked for a while and he messaged me out of the blue around 2 weeks ago. He said that this time he felt things were different and we will meet and hopefully take things to the next step etc and earlier last week he asked if I wanted to meet up. We agreed on Saturday night for a date. All week he had been texting me daily saying how he’s excited to meet me. I said that I had a feeling he was going to flake on me because of all his disappearances previously but he shut me down saying I should have more faith in him etc. Thursday he mentioned in a text about Saturday but as we didn’t have any plans confirmed yet I asked where we were meeting and he said he hadnt even thought about it but he would and let me know. I felt disappointed at the fact that he hadn’t even thought about it since he was so supposedly so excited! Friday, I waited to hear from him with plans for the date but I didn’t hear from him so I knew he flaked on me like I suspected. On Sunday I decided enough wasting time on this guy and I blocked and deleted his number. Today I get a message on Instagram from him saying how he expected me to make more effort after he had been texting me all the time and he knew I wouldn’t be bothered when I was active on social media but not telling him good morning so he knew where he stood. This sounds so childish writing this (we are both 30) but is he just trying to manipulate me now and make me feel bad even though he was the one that blew me out? It’s not as if I ever ignored him, I just wasn’t about to chase him to make plans when I had I already asked once where we were meeting.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 He’s a flake and was trying to make you feel bad/guilty in order to excuse his bad behavior. Easier to blame you than himself. Based on your post, you note he’s bailed on you many times. I’m not sure why you’ve allowed this guy that many chances to disrespect you. People will treat you poorly if you allow it. It’s concerning that you don’t even trust your own judgment in that you’re questioning if you should have put in more effort when he’s had a pattern of disappearing on you. Block him on all social media. Move on from this guy. He’s not worth it.
RedHead5 Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 Sounds like he is insecure and playing mind games to an extent. If he wanted to say good morning he should have just said good morning. Sounds like he wanted you to chase him a bit. If that's not your style, don't. He was tracking your online status on social media, mad because you didn't say good morning but he didn't say anything either. I mean, you haven't even met yet! My opinion would be to dodge a bullet and leave him blocked and block him anywhere else needed.
hippychick3 Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 Yuck. How childish and insecure. That reminds me of someone I met online about 6 years ago. We were texting for a couple days getting to know each other, and I told him that I preferred to get to know someone in person rather than in text. He was too "talkative" and I didn't want to waste time texting this stranger (I didn't tell him that though). So he finally set up a lunch date and the night before the date he cancelled because I didn't ask enough questions about him leading up to the date. He felt I wasn't interested enough in him as a person. Omg So I told him it was probably best we didn't meet. Fast forward 6 months and he texts me out of the blue apologizing and realizing he made a mistake and could we try again. LOL. I said I lost all interest in meeting him after that and thought he was too needy and insecure for me. Anyway...ignore and block him from IG!! 1
alphamale Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 what a self-righteous *******!! delete and block, later days!
Author LittleLuu Posted November 6, 2018 Author Posted November 6, 2018 Thank you for the above replies. He hasn’t bailed on making plans before this was the first time (once is enough) but he’s disappeared as in stopped texting. And it was the same story with him coming back saying I vanished Zahara, I am questioning because while I don’t expect men to put in 100% of the effort all the time I do expect them to make the most effort in terms of communication at the start, especially before even meeting so I am asking should I have made more effort to tell him good morning etc but yeh seems he maybe did want to be chased but that’s not something that I do. Especially when I had told him to let me know regarding plans for meeting. But apparently I didn’t care cause I had time to be on social media. Anyway, I replied telling him why I blocked him (he’s a flake, I don’t like wasting my time, I don’t chase men, don’t measure someone’s interest in me based on how much they text me but when their actions match their words...) and he just responded with the same old rubbish; No apology of course. Now he’s blocked on IG too.
ExpatInItaly Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 You did the right thing, OP. He's just got his ego bruised that you don't want him anymore. He said he would let you know about plans for Saturday, and he never followed through. Tough luck, dude.
Zahara Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 Good for you! You’re absolutely right - action not words. When you allow them to pop in and out, that’s all you’re going to get. And when you see a red flag so soon into your interaction with them, best to walk away. Sounds like he’s good at gaslighting. The fact that he’s always blaming you and can’t reflect on his own behavior is a red flag. You did the right thing — this much drama and you’ve not even had a date yet. Imagine the angst and tension you’d have to endure if you were actually in a relationship with him.
Zippy2000 Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 All week he had been texting me daily saying how he’s excited to meet me. I said that I had a feeling he was going to flake on me because of all his disappearances previously but he shut me down saying I should have more faith in him etc. Thursday he mentioned in a text about Saturday but as we didn’t have any plans confirmed yet I asked where we were meeting and he said he hadnt even thought about it but he would and let me know. I felt disappointed at the fact that he hadn’t even thought about it since he was so supposedly so excited! Friday, I waited to hear from him with plans for the date but I didn’t hear from him so I knew he flaked on me like I suspected. On Sunday I decided enough wasting time on this guy and I blocked and deleted his number. Today I get a message on Instagram from him saying how he expected me to make more effort after he had been texting me all the time and he knew I wouldn’t be bothered when I was active on social media but not telling him good morning so he knew where he stood. This sounds so childish writing this (we are both 30) but is he just trying to manipulate me now and make me feel bad even though he was the one that blew me out? It’s not as if I ever ignored him, I just wasn’t about to chase him to make plans when I had I already asked once where we were meeting. Your post sounds like any other post from here where a guy or girl suggests something and they hear NOTHING to the before before or on the day. In my recollection out of all the threads I ve read with scenarios like yours. None have survived. If a man or woman is interested in you they will make plans to see you and not leave it till the VERY last minute. Let you hang on. Most of the threads on here because they haven't heard have made plans already and when they clash. They fall out. Don't waste anymore time on this guy. He SAID all the right things but his ACTIONS don't back this up. YOUR TIME IS VALUABLE. Don't let a man waste it if he`s not into you.
Redhead14 Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 I have been talking to this guy on and off for over 2 months. We hadn't talked for a while and he messaged me out of the blue around 2 weeks ago. He said that this time he felt things were different and we will meet and hopefully take things to the next step etc and earlier last week he asked if I wanted to meet up. We agreed on Saturday night for a date. All week he had been texting me daily saying how he’s excited to meet me. I said that I had a feeling he was going to flake on me because of all his disappearances previously but he shut me down saying I should have more faith in him etc. Thursday he mentioned in a text about Saturday but as we didn’t have any plans confirmed yet I asked where we were meeting and he said he hadnt even thought about it but he would and let me know. I felt disappointed at the fact that he hadn’t even thought about it since he was so supposedly so excited! Friday, I waited to hear from him with plans for the date but I didn’t hear from him so I knew he flaked on me like I suspected. On Sunday I decided enough wasting time on this guy and I blocked and deleted his number. Today I get a message on Instagram from him saying how he expected me to make more effort after he had been texting me all the time and he knew I wouldn’t be bothered when I was active on social media but not telling him good morning so he knew where he stood. This sounds so childish writing this (we are both 30) but is he just trying to manipulate me now and make me feel bad even though he was the one that blew me out? It’s not as if I ever ignored him, I just wasn’t about to chase him to make plans when I had I already asked once where we were meeting. I should have more faith in him -- You did have faith . . . faith that he would flake again as usual He wanted you to be his back burner girl. You took the pot off the stove. Good for you.
d0nnivain Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 What else were you supposed to do? You gave him a chance to step up & he blew it. You trusted your instincts & you were right. Let this go. It's not worth being annoyed by
Author LittleLuu Posted November 6, 2018 Author Posted November 6, 2018 Feels good when you take the trash out lol
NuevoYorko Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 No, you shouldn't have made more effort. I do have advice for you: Stop getting so invested in a person and their actions when you have not even met them and they are not really in your life. You chatted online, he disappeared, he reappeared and he revealed to you that he's a douche. moveon.org 1
preraph Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 You are well rid of this guy. What a little jerk. Truth is he's too insecure to date and he's throwing the fault on you. He's rude and not nice and you should block him forever now.
Malin889 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Yuck. How childish and insecure. That reminds me of someone I met online about 6 years ago. We were texting for a couple days getting to know each other, and I told him that I preferred to get to know someone in person rather than in text. He was too "talkative" and I didn't want to waste time texting this stranger (I didn't tell him that though). So he finally set up a lunch date and the night before the date he cancelled because I didn't ask enough questions about him leading up to the date. He felt I wasn't interested enough in him as a person. Omg So I told him it was probably best we didn't meet. Fast forward 6 months and he texts me out of the blue apologizing and realizing he made a mistake and could we try again. LOL. I said I lost all interest in meeting him after that and thought he was too needy and insecure for me. Anyway...ignore and block him from IG!! Ugh, this is what just happened to me! This guy kept texting me but wouldn’t make plans, so I gave up. I only gave him less than a week but I felt that was a good enough amount of time. He kept texting “good morning” and “have a nice day” but wouldn’t ask me out. Weirdos! I can’t believe your guy cancelled because of that. Like you don’t even know him! Drives me mad.
Malin889 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 He’s a flake and was trying to make you feel bad/guilty in order to excuse his bad behavior. Easier to blame you than himself. This exactly!
stillafool Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 No, you shouldn't have made more effort. I do have advice for you: Stop getting so invested in a person and their actions when you have not even met them and they are not really in your life. You chatted online, he disappeared, he reappeared and he revealed to you that he's a douche. moveon.org I couldn't agree more. Don't get invested in people you have never met, only gone on 1 or 2 dates or have cancelled a date. Don't give them another thought. Just move on to the next and not give them your mind space.
Malin889 Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 HeÂ’s a flake and was trying to make you feel bad/guilty in order to excuse his bad behavior. Easier to blame you than himself. This exactly!
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