Meltdown Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 The man I’ve been dating for several months tells me during sex that he is addicted to me. Last night I told him “you know I have fallen in love with you” he replied....No... we are both addicted. Should I take this as he only want friends with benefits and is addicted to the sex. I have never met any of his friends in this time... we go on dates and have each other over for dinners... but something is off.
Garcon1986 Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Welcome to LS! If you have been dating for several months, it's fair to ask him his views on where the relationship is going long term. It sounds like your gut is probably right though - you've picked a guy who you thought was awesome in the beginning, but he's in it for the physical parts and not the relationship. I would be prepared for packing this one up if he's not on the same page as you are. In the meantime, you could look back on the past months - has he done stuff for you that is the mark of a caring boyfriend? What is his past track record with you? 1
d0nnivain Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 If his response to a declaration of love is to tell you that you are not in love & to start talking about addiction, you have to conclude you two are not on the same page. Since addictions are generally bad, he thinks you are not good for him. I'd start looking for the door. 1
Lotsgoingon Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Wow, what an awkward response to hear someone say, No We're Addicted. Wow! So what's great about your response is you're asking what it means but also concluding that something is off in the relationship ... that you've never met his friends and so on ... So ... pay attention to that feeling. Something is off ... time to hit the pause button with this guy ... and probably time to hit the stop button ...
FMW Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 At the very least it means he doesn't WANT to be in love with you and will not go willingly and happily into commitment. Maybe he'll come to terms with it and things will work out over time, but for now I wouldn't have any expectations.
kendahke Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 The man I’ve been dating for several months tells me during sex that he is addicted to me. Last night I told him “you know I have fallen in love with you” he replied....No... we are both addicted. Should I take this as he only want friends with benefits and is addicted to the sex. I have never met any of his friends in this time... we go on dates and have each other over for dinners... but something is off. He is only there for the sex. Are you? If not, then he's telling you just how far he's willing to take this ride. So far, it doesn't include meeting anyone important to him. Not only that, but he is attempting to tell you how you feel because he knows he's only there for the sex. If that is how you feel, then that is genuine and him telling you "no, this is what you feel" is insulting to your intelligence. Dial back the sex for now to see if he really and truly is addicted to you or is he addicted to your sex. You'll know soon enough what he's there for.
smackie9 Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Toss him.....you just wasted several month for him to come around. You know something has been off for awhile...especially when you haven't met anyone in his life...girl you should have ran the other way ages ago.
Lotsgoingon Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Definitely strange and destabilizing ... Hit the pause button immediately ... and even stop until you get clarity ... or trust that you have clarity and something weird is up with him ... You sense that something is "off." Trust that! Pause!!!!
Author Meltdown Posted November 6, 2018 Author Posted November 6, 2018 Mixed messages... he has helped me catch a bat in the house, take my boat cover awning off, check my basement for a water leak etc...told me we are ina relationship he is not seeing anybody... but made other comments that make it seem mor Deb. He talks about doing things together in the future... but I guess I need to have the “ I deserve more convo with him. Tired of not really progressing... thanks everyone for your feedback... I know in my heart what it meant, but need the reaffirmation.
Logo Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 Mixed messages... he has helped me catch a bat in the house, take my boat cover awning off, check my basement for a water leak etc...told me we are ina relationship he is not seeing anybody... but made other comments that make it seem mor Deb. He talks about doing things together in the future... but I guess I need to have the “ I deserve more convo with him. Tired of not really progressing... thanks everyone for your feedback... I know in my heart what it meant, but need the reaffirmation. Always take such statements with a grain of salt.
FMW Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 Sounds like a married guy to me. Yep. That's exactly what I was thinking.
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