Need help on what to do after a breakup of 5 years relationship

[calworld]

I dated this girl 5 years ago since I was 18. We didn't hit right off the bat but we keep trying. We lived together for 4 years in college and everything seemed fine except some fights in between. However, we still loved each other to death. 9 months ago, she decide to do an internship in other place. So we were long distance for 4 months. There was a girl who has a crush on me. I hanged out with her but nothing serious going on. The 5th month I graduated and I took a little vacation before I go work. I went on vacation with that girl and she is crazy enough to offer me a sexual favor. I was sexually aroused and I did it. I felt guilty afterward and I told my gf about it. After that, she was still fine and will forgive me. I was like I need to make up for what I did. Then, I hear she was going out with this guy I hated the most. They started dating and when I come back she admitted it. She told me she want to date around and see if I am the right guy. I was like okay. I know I cannot hold her back since she's really stubborn and I am already graduated and got a job some place else so I can't physically be with her anyway. But it's easier to say than done, so I tried to not let her go out with that guy. l send her flowers, chocolate, romantic dinner trying to sway her to not date that guy...However, the more I did seems like she even more eager to date that guy. I told her I know what I did wrong before and I am willing to change for her in the future. However 2 weeks ago, she officially broke up with me. I was so sad and devastated. I didn't know how much I loved her until I lose her. I know I am better than that guy financially, lookswise, and jobwise but I know I am not a sweettalker like him. She now will not pickup my phone, return my msg and my email. And I don't seem to have anything that I can do to win her back. But I truly think we can be a great couple. I know I can take care of her for the future. Is there anything I can do to win her back? Her birthday is next month and I am wondering if I should buy her anything as well? Or should I just call it over?

[sunaddict1]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! you are chasing her away!!!!!!!!!!!! if i were her...you would be too easy for me to walk on. you did mess up and that is done and over with. she is making you crazy! dont let her get to you liek that! I am a girl so i know how it is. when i was 18 i broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half....he did the same things. sent me flowers, cards, called me and to tell you the truth...it made it easier for me to move on. make her sweat and wonder what you are doing. there is nothing more sexy to me than a guy who can give me a challenge and make me wonder. when it is too easy...girls dont want it. leave her alone and concentrate on your work. i just got my heart beaten by my ex of 5 years and it has been a month now. i am leaving that jerk to wonder what i am doing. he broke my heart...im not letting break my self-confidence too. please....dont call or do ANYTHING for her birthday...she doesnt deserve your money right now. i know it is hard....trust me...i am the weakest of weak....but you WILL turn her off. i am older now and i know what the relationship game is about. you dont know me...but TRUST ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[calworld]

I know what u mean that I let her walk over me. But the thing is I was at fault first therefore I thought it's okay. I totally regret doing that. The only thing that scares me is what if she really think I moved on and she don't turn her head no more. I feel I am taking a risk of putting this relationship into grave. Anything I can do to make her turn head. And what should I say if she call me

[sunaddict1]

i know you are scared of that b/c i am too. what i am doing in that exact situation is i am going to call him once a week. then go to every other week. that way they see you calling occasionally and then they see you start to back off. so you arent being too forward at all. they get to see that you still care and like to talk to them, but you are busy too. when i talk to him i dont mention "us". i just how he has been, how is the family, work, and i will be the first one to hang up. the thing that sucks about that is when he doesnt answer and i leave a message. then it is on him to call me back. if he calls back then i know he cares...if he doesnt then i leave him alone. he eventually will call. if he stops calling, then i cant change that. you cant make someone give you their time. you just have to test your ex out. if she calls you DO NOT talk about your relationship....that will turn her off and she wont call you anymore if that is what you are going to talk about. my ex told me he was sick of talking about it...so i have to stop if i want him back. you always want what yjou dont have....they will get worried as to why youa rent concerned with what they are doing anymore.

[calworld]

Do you think she will get mad if I don't give her a present on her birthday?

[calworld]

Do you think she will get mad if I don't give her a present on her birthday? How about just a text msg?

Noone has any other response?

[pippen_2k]

Man dont you dare get her a Birthday present!

 

Dont reward someone who broke your heart and made you feel pathetic!

 

Spend the money on yourself, you owe her NOTHING!..and quite frankly who cares if she gets mad... she didnt care that she hurt you did she..

[nosybear819]

I had a boyfriend whom I dated for 6 years when I broke up with him He started off doing the things that you're doing calling, texting, sending flowers when I didn't respond it escalated he started calling me at work instead of on my cell (so that I would have to answer) leaving things on my notes/presents on my car at night basically the guy started stalking me and it scared me!

 

So I suggest you slow down with you "nice gestures" 'cuz she prob sees it as something different than that. Maybe you scaring when you mean to be charming her. Just move on go back to the girl with the sexual favors. And hell no don't get that girl a gift she's prob talking all kinds of sh*t about you to her new man laughing and joking about your crazy messages and gifts - I know that's what I used to do when my ex was stalking me. Good luck!

[calworld]

Man dont you dare get her a Birthday present!

 

Dont reward someone who broke your heart and made you feel pathetic!

 

Spend the money on yourself, you owe her NOTHING!..and quite frankly who cares if she gets mad... she didnt care that she hurt you did she..

You are right about that...I wonder if she care if I die. SIGH~

[sunaddict1]

she cares about you...but if you are up he ass she will grow more and more sick of you. DO NOT GIVE HER A GIFT!!!!!!!!! If you feel like you need to JUST say happy birthday in a text and you havent tried contacting her for awhile...then do that. but that is it!!!!!!!!! i wouldnt even do that if i were you. but it is up to you. just stay busy on her birthday. be withyour friends b/c they wont let you call her!!!!!!!! of course she would care if you died...but dont think that way...that is stupid to think that way! Be strong...

[Super89Rex]

Man the more nice things you do for her to try and convince her how much you love her, the more she will pull away. I know it makes no sense, but I have learned it the hard way. Try and move on with your own life, if anything she will realize her mistake in the future when she sees how much of a sucessful, happy person you have become. You have to do the NO CONTACT thing, dont bother her; if she misses you she will contact you. Remember she is the one who left, thus she is the one who has to come back if she wants to; if not then she truly isnt worth your time. But I feel you man, I'm going through the same thing..

[Super89Rex]

As for the gift, forget it man; youve already invested enough into this girl.

[calworld]

Got it. I will send her text since it's been a month since I haven't contact her in a month. Thanks people. Hopefully, one day she will come back to me