thebiglimp Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 took a girl out on a first date, it went great. flirting, blowing kisses across the table, actual kiss at the end, future date plans, and we got drunk and even cried a little bit on eachother. i was a bit aggressive on text- i like you lets go out again. her response- im not ready for a relationship, lets meet again but only as friends. most likely its from lack of attraction, but what she showed me in person was A LOT of attraction. could it be because she's afraid of her feelings? her last relationship was abusive.
carhill Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 IMO, avoid the trap of trying to figure out a woman's thoughts and emotions like a math problem to be solved. Fruitless venture. She had fun on the date then later decided she felt no interest when you asked her out again. Discrete moments. Relationships, even during dating, proceed or end. Don't let them go backwards. Consider it a fun first date, learn from it and move on. Examine your own feelings if she contacts you out of the blue. If this hot and cold bugs you, decline. Your prerogative.
Author thebiglimp Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 i drilled her about this today. she seemed like she wasn't interested in me in general. says im not ready for a relationship, nor is she. but she keeps saying she still wants to meet again, as friends. i said next time we meet in my mind i'm treating it as a date. she says thats fine. i've never had to deal with such a mixed response. not that i get friendzoned often. its usually hard yes or no, mostly no. what is going on here? the flirt was so strong last night- 'youre cute, nice eyes, ect' from her part with fake kisses and an actual kiss at the end, planning of future dates, and then the next day over text, this.
Jamess1 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 took a girl out on a first date, it went great. flirting, blowing kisses across the table, actual kiss at the end, future date plans, and we got drunk and even cried a little bit on eachother. ....don't cry with her her i was a bit aggressive on text- i like you lets go out again. Give her time to miss you, don't want it more than she does - she feels like she is the real deal, she is the prize.. her response- im not ready for a relationship, lets meet again but only as friends. most likely its from lack of attraction, but what she showed me in person was A LOT of attraction. It's not what she did..it's what you deed.. could it be because she's afraid of her feelings? her last relationship was abusive. No Don't appear needy
Author thebiglimp Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 i cried first, actually. then her. that's what gets me. like, we had that level of connection and she doesn't want more dates...
Jamess1 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 i drilled her about this today. she seemed like she wasn't interested in me in general. says im not ready for a relationship, nor is she. Wrong move, the fact that you had ask her for the reason confirms to her that she made the right choice, seems needy, let go of the outcome but she keeps saying she still wants to meet again, as friends. It's a test, you are man of many otpions who knows what he wants : be decisive,it's either u get what you want, or you take nothing at all. That's not needy and is attractive. i said next time we meet in my mind i'm treating it as a date. Needy and desperate, you are accepting less than what u want and hoping that if you persevere hard enough she will then reward you with a date... she says thats fine. ...you are now an orbiter, 1 of the guys who likes her, a friend-zoned dude,she will use for attention while she looks for another guy.. i've never had to deal with such a mixed response. not that i get friendzoned often. its usually hard yes or no, mostly no. what is going on here? the flirt was so strong last night- 'youre cute, nice eyes, ect' from her part with fake kisses and an actual kiss at the end, planning of future dates, and then the next day over text, this. Respond to the NOW, never make what happened last night, or last week the basis of your interaction...this is the essence of the test-a needy & unattractive man will hold on to what happened yesterday, the kisses ect -a confident man responses to now Text her this : ..I really had a great time last night, and I think you are a great and fun person to be around. At this point in my life I am not looking for anymore female friends (I have enough female friends already), I am looking forward to meeting someone to share a special bond with. I understand we are both not looking for the same thing right now, and I respect that. Because of this I won't be meeting you today...
snowboy91 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Even so, but for reasons that are either simple or complicated and personal to her, she doesn't want a relationship right now. Or perhaps not with you. Either way, if you're treating your next meet up as a date (she won't be), you're only setting yourself up for misery. Unless you can hold your feelings down and turn this into a friendship, I'd suggest not seeing her.
Jamess1 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 i cried first, actually. then her. that's what gets me. like, we had that level of connection and she doesn't want more dates... Women are not looking for men to cry with, they are looking for a strong man they can cry in-front of; masculinity is a grounding force, a riverbed, the frame - femininity is the expression, the river flowing, the artwork in the frame- her attraction comes from you creating the environment where she can express her femininity for you, where she can laugh, dance and cry for you...where she is free to be feminine. But you remain grounded, you remain stable - you acted as if she was talking with her female friends, you cried with her ---it's myth that by showing your emotions with women you attract them, you don't - seeing a men crying is not attractive for women.
GTR King Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Once friend zoned move on... No point meeting up as friends there will be someone you go on a date with that will like you
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 i cried first, actually. then her. that's what gets me. like, we had that level of connection and she doesn't want more dates... That's not connection....you turned into her best GF, her teddy bear. One time this guy got emotional on me about his childhood during what would have been a hot ONS.....like a switch, I got turned off. I sent him off on his way. So I suspect this is what happened. 1
Malin889 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 took a girl out on a first date, it went great. flirting, blowing kisses across the table, actual kiss at the end, future date plans, and we got drunk and even cried a little bit on eachother. That seems pretty intense for a first date, blowing kisses, really? Crying on each other? Did you know each other beforehand or did you meet online?
carhill Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Yup, OP, gotta co-sign on the crying thing. It's OK to cry when your mother or father or spouse, etc dies but a man must be pretty stoic to successfully reproduce. Show weakness and they'll toss you in the abyss without a care. Plenty of other guys to choose from. After divorce I dabbled with that, showing natural emotion, as an experiment and it helped me to decide to move on from relationships with women. Not worth the grief. You're young though. It'll work out. 1
Simple Logic Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 You are wasting your effort and money. Call off your next beet up.
Author thebiglimp Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 That seems pretty intense for a first date, blowing kisses, really? Crying on each other? Did you know each other beforehand or did you meet online? We met online. Talked for a week. Yes! Exactly! Too intense! The most intense date i had actually. Even my ex's werent this passionate! Thats why im so confused
Author thebiglimp Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 I thought crying was a plus..... What?!
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 I thought crying was a plus..... What?! Oh hell no! What you should have been doing was try to get her in the sac and nothing more. 1
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 I wish you better luck next time with all the advice others have put forward....
Larry56 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Alot of guys co-sign on to a woman's signalling that she's not looking for anything (even though she actually goes and makes out with a guy) by trying to analyze her actions and words. Just because her boyfriend was abusive...that doesn't mean she doesn't like him. She may have the tingles and feels for him and most likely based on their longer history. She will still be connected to him. Sorry to bum you out. Don't send any serious follow up messages about commitment. Just roll with it by saying "Okay, cool." Ask her out again maybe a day before the thing you're doing and just try escalate the sexual tension/making out.
Recommended Posts