Logo Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Have you had a relationship or relationships where you’re seeing each other on a regular basis and the relationship reaches a point where exclusivity is implied without having been discussed? Do you think exclusivity needs to be discussed in every relationship? No exceptions whatsoever?
preraph Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 It needs to be discussed. If someone you've been with for awhile hasn't even brought up commitment, something is wrong there. And if there's no commitment, there's no exclusivity, no matter how well you think it's going. Better put a ring on it.
Mardelis Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 "Implied Exclusivity = "Poor communication" 1
FMW Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 There is no such thing. There are so many posts on this forum that have some component of someone thinking their partner was on the same page as them and then being shocked they weren't. Bring it up and talk about it clearly. 2
alphamale Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Have you had a relationship or relationships where you’re seeing each other on a regular basis and the relationship reaches a point where exclusivity is implied without having been discussed? Yes Do you think exclusivity needs to be discussed in every relationship? No 1
edgygirl Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Do you think exclusivity needs to be discussed in every relationship? Yes -- otherwise one of you will get hurt. I just had a discussion today (post 3rd date) and I am happy we did. We realized we were going too fast and need to slow down, and, despite liking each other, neither of us is yet ready to commit. It might hurt a little to hear the truth, but it's great to know where you and the other person stand. Better than assuming. I usually kinda assumed things, but loveshack taught me otherwise. Better to know and act accordingly. 1
Springsummer Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 I usually kinda assumed things, but loveshack taught me otherwise. Better to know and act accordingly. I am a kind of person who always assume things too....career also...things often turn out not as expected.
Author Logo Posted November 3, 2018 Author Posted November 3, 2018 Yes No alphamale, You seem to be the exception here. In hindsight, would you have done things differently? It seems like you wouldn't. But, I have to ask.
basil67 Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) I'm with alphamale. Perhaps it's cultural or an age thing, but I haven't had a a discussion about being boyfriend/girlfriend since I was in junior high. As far as I'm concerned, once you get to the stage where you usually spend Friday and Saturday nights together - and one would give a reason if they can't make it - it's a done deal. My partner and I have been together for 26 years and have yet to have the discussion Edited November 3, 2018 by basil67 1
preraph Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Once you get burned because you were convinced someone was in love with you by the way they acted and then you see them out somewhere dating, you will not ever assume you're exclusive again -- and you shouldn't stop dating other people if the other person is sidestepping the subject after a reasonable amount of time.
Springsummer Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Perhaps it's cultural or an age thing, I think it's totally a culture and age thing.
alphamale Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 alphamale, You seem to be the exception here. In hindsight, would you have done things differently? It seems like you wouldn't. But, I have to ask. actions speak louder than words in this scenario
Gretchen12 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Well, I think back over the years, and I have never had the exclusivity talk. Never. It never crossed my mind. But also I've never been surprised to find the other person not being on the same page. But I suppose it's not unreasonable to do that if that's what everyone is doing. It's just not me, not the men I've been with, not my experience.
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