Travel87 Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) I feel im being a bit mardy here but its bothering me how my partner never texts me anything sweet. To me a good morning or 'thinking of you' text keeps the spark alive and before anyone says about having no phones back in the day that to me is irrelevant now its 2018. The only issue is when we first started dating we had a conversation about things we love in a relationship and i mentioned these texts. Fast forward 3 months and i actually bought it up in a conversation how it never happens and she said 'i think about you all day and everytime i wake up i miss you' so i said how thats lovely and it would be nice to also hear that randomly on a text if its on your mind as it would make my day. Fast forward another 3 months and had 0 texts like that. Its really grinding on me as this morning for example we are meant to be meeting for dinner, i log into whatsapp to say how i cant wait for later and... she was online 5 mins ago, it just deflated me to the point where i didnt text her either as just felt it now pointless. Does anyone have any advice? Should i iust let this go? I know i could keep textint first but it feels horrible after a while when its not reciprocated. It feels like she logs in to text mates or whatever 1st thing every morning but im not on her mind. What worries me more is ive recently been thinking about my ex because of this. She used to text me before work, soon as she finished, at bedtime, when she woke up, and im really starting to miss that. I also lived with the ex so there was less reason to text me nice things. I dont live with my current gf and see her twice a week so would expect we'd text more. Edited November 3, 2018 by Travel87
Author Travel87 Posted November 6, 2018 Author Posted November 6, 2018 I have before but it was a few months back. Together we are amazing but apart we're awful. I feel both are just as important to keep the spark alive but im reluctant to tell her how i feel AGAIN because it'll just mean she sends me msgs out of pity. Ive asked her before 'do you think about us a lot when we're apart' and she said 'yes all the time' but then i hate that she never actually says that without me asking her first. Today for example ive decided not to text her 1st at all... its now 5pm where i live and ive had nothing off her all day. People might think its not a big deal but when i have to question whether i should text or not, or whether i should send this funny picture of something ive just seen, it becomes a drag. Ive never actually been in a relationship where i feel uncomfortable making contact
kendahke Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 You've done all you can do. You've brought it to her twice and she doesn't think it's important enough for her to remember. So you have to figure out if this is the hill to die on for you. If it is, then dump her and find a woman who texts the way you like. No sense in being with someone who grates on your nerves like this---especially when you've directly mentioned it twice and she's still playing you off. If not, then learn to self soothe and be grateful for the other things she brings to your relationship.
kendahke Posted November 6, 2018 Posted November 6, 2018 I have before but it was a few months back. Together we are amazing but apart we're awful. I feel both are just as important to keep the spark alive but im reluctant to tell her how i feel AGAIN because it'll just mean she sends me msgs out of pity. Ive asked her before 'do you think about us a lot when we're apart' and she said 'yes all the time' but then i hate that she never actually says that without me asking her first. Today for example ive decided not to text her 1st at all... its now 5pm where i live and ive had nothing off her all day. People might think its not a big deal but when i have to question whether i should text or not, or whether i should send this funny picture of something ive just seen, it becomes a drag. Ive never actually been in a relationship where i feel uncomfortable making contact You've also got to get past this "give to get" mentality. If you're spending all your time keeping score, then this is going to dissolve fast. If you want to send texts because that's who you are, then do it. She's not the same way as you are and she's showing you with consistent behavior that she isn't you and she doesn't proceed like you do. Stop expecting for her to be a female version of you---she's not. Texting out of her own prompting clearly isn't her thing and to be with her means you have to be down with that and quit complaining.
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