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Did I Go Too Far Making a Girl Jealous?

shesabeauty

By shesabeauty
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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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I hung out with a girl (from the 'dancing' thread) on halloween as part of a small group out. She seemed happy to see me but I'm used to women throwing themselves at me and she wasn't acting like that. I just assumed she wasn't interested so I just felt free to explore the club on my own a bit.

 

Four or five women approached me and she noticed. After the first couple, she didn't do anything besides stand with her back to the wall watching me dancing, singing and grinding with other girls. She remained motionless watching for well over an hour. Periodically, she tried to get me back.

 

She was stationed with our group but she was always right behind me at her 12 o'clock. She approached from behind and grabbed me by the shoulders each time:

 

"dave, is everything ok?"

 

"steve from our group left"

 

"dave, I don't want to lose you"

 

"dave, I'm going to leave with this guy (points to him and leaves)"

 

5 minutes later: "hi dave I'm back!"

 

She grabs me by the shoulders again, bit of a massage, but I ignore her. I don't know why I just don't feel like she's showing as much interest as I'd like.

 

Another hot girl approaches and I lose track of her.

 

She texts multiple times in the morning asking me to text back and saying she had a good time watching me enjoy myself. (head scratcher).

 

We had different expectations of who would do the chasing and I think both of us got confused. Did I go too far getting her jealous?

GoreSP Established Member

GoreSP

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Yeah you went way too far.

 

I would have stopped chasing after watching you dance and grind other women for 5 minutes but that's just me.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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These kinds of posts make me so glad that I am in a relationship.

 

OP, if you like this woman - quit with the games. Ask the girl out.

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guest569 Established Member

guest569

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Why do you want her to throw herself at you?

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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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Why do you want her to throw herself at you?

 

Maybe that was worded too strongly. I expected her to show a higher level of interest. When it wasn't as high as I expected initially, I just assumed we were out as friends and treated her as such. Perhaps she had other expectations. If she had shown more interest, I would have reciprocated.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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I guess young women will put up with anything to be with a good looking guy (you're good looking, right?) and to answer your question you went too far. It obviously didn't affect anything between you since she's texted you multiple times since then. Personally, I'd want someone with more self respect.

 

If you liked this girl wouldn't it have been more fun to spend the evening dancing with her? If I were her I wouldn't have seen all the things that happened between you and the other girls because when you first went to explore the club; I would have went in the other direction and done the same.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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Maybe that was worded too strongly. I expected her to show a higher level of interest. When it wasn't as high as I expected initially, I just assumed we were out as friends and treated her as such. Perhaps she had other expectations. If she had shown more interest, I would have reciprocated.

 

What did you do first to show your high level of interest?

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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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I guess young women will put up with anything to be with a good looking guy (you're good looking, right?) and to answer your question you went too far. It obviously didn't affect anything between you since she's texted you multiple times since then. Personally, I'd want someone with more self respect.

 

If you liked this girl wouldn't it have been more fun to spend the evening dancing with her? If I were her I wouldn't have seen all the things that happened between you and the other girls because when you first went to explore the club; I would have went in the other direction and done the same.

 

I think some guy did approach her. They danced briefly in a platonic way. Then, she just stood against the wall and watched me for the rest of the night.

 

I think what ticked me off were a couple of things. I could tell she was deliberately trying to ignore me in favor of talking to other guys. Second, she teased/insulted me a little bit, which I didn't pay much attention to at first, but it probably irritated me. She was introducing me to someone else and she said "dave wasn't doing anything tonight." I just brushed it off but it probably irritated me a little bit.

 

Once several girls started staring at me and then approaching me, I was off to the races. I thought wednesday would be a slow night but the girls were still giving off strong sexual vibes so I explored it a bit, since she was playing hard to get.

 

She finally came around full circle but by then it was too late and I was having too much fun dancing and grinding with other girls, getting more numbers etc.

 

I like to think of myself as good looking. I hope that I am. Women treat me like I am, which is just as important as self image.

Sarah_Smiles Established Member

Sarah_Smiles

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Did you like her? Wanted her to act possessive? I don't know some girls are into that sort of game, so if she contacted you since, then I guess you didn't go too far.

ElKay Established Member

ElKay

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How can you not know if you got irritated. Were you drunk?

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Jealousy in a relationship is often indicative of an unhealthy relationship.

 

In a relationship partner, it tends to be indicative of insecurity.

 

When a person purposefully flaunts himself and/or herself in front of another to intentionally make the other person jealous... Well, this kind of behavior shows that individual to be immature, arrogant, and manipulative.

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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I think it was beyond rude to abandon your friend at the club to go grinding others. The fact that you did it with the intention of making her jealous indicates a great deal of immaturity on your part. A quality approach would be to dance with her on the night and if she wasn't interested in a relationship, then simply not ask her again.

 

If there are as many women throwing themselves at you as you say, one night not collecting a fist full of numbers would not be an issue.

 

Also, the fact a girl doesn't "throw herself" at you does not necessarily indicate a lack of interest. It could simply be that she has a bit of decorum.

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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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Jealousy in a relationship is often indicative of an unhealthy relationship.

 

In a relationship partner, it tends to be indicative of insecurity.

 

When a person purposefully flaunts himself and/or herself in front of another to intentionally make the other person jealous... Well, this kind of behavior shows that individual to be immature, arrogant, and manipulative.

 

Every single attractive young woman I've met recently behaves in this way. Yet, no one criticizes them. Double standard, clearly.

 

I think it was beyond rude to abandon your friend at the club to go grinding others. The fact that you did it with the intention of making her jealous indicates a great deal of immaturity on your part. A quality approach would be to dance with her on the night and if she wasn't interested in a relationship, then simply not ask her again.

 

If there are as many women throwing themselves at you as you say, one night not collecting a fist full of numbers would not be an issue.

 

Also, the fact a girl doesn't "throw herself" at you does not necessarily indicate a lack of interest. It could simply be that she has a bit of decorum.

 

She became jealous yes but that was not my intent. She showed that she wanted to talk and dance with other guys and so I talked and danced with other girls. Why the double standard? It's hypocritical.

Edited by shesabeauty
basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Every single attractive young woman I've met recently behaves in this way. Yet, no one criticizes them. Double standard, clearly.

 

No double standard here - I wouldn't hesitate to criticise them in exactly the same manner. Male or female - it's immature, self serving and harmful behaviour.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Also, the fact a girl doesn't "throw herself" at you does not necessarily indicate a lack of interest. It could simply be that she has a bit of decorum.

 

Decorum and/or good judgment.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Every single attractive young woman I've met recently behaves in this way. Yet, no one criticizes them. Double standard, clearly.

 

No double standard here. I would say the same to any woman who behaved the same way.

 

If this is consistent with the behavior of every single attractive young woman you've met, I would tell you to get out of the clubs and meet some different young women.

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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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No double standard here - I wouldn't hesitate to criticise them in exactly the same manner. Male or female - it's immature, self serving and harmful behaviour.

 

Well then just about every single attractive young female I've met must be immature, self serving and harmful to self and others. Or, maybe it's just normal to explore your options/play the field if you're not in a committed relationship.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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She became jealous yes but that was not my intent. She showed that she wanted to talk and dance with other guys and so I talked and danced with other girls. Why the double standard? It's hypocritical.

 

You titled your post "Did I Go Too Far Making a Girl Jealous?" The wording shows absolute intent on your part.

 

In your first post you wrote

 

>>She seemed happy to see me but I'm used to women throwing themselves at me and she wasn't acting like that. I just assumed she wasn't interested so I just felt free to explore the club on my own a bit.<<

 

Nothing there about her wanting to talk and dance with other guys. You stated that she wasn't "throwing herself" at you so you chose to go grinding with other women....and continued to do so even when she tried to get you back. After you abandoned her, she did dance with some other guys...but short of going home, what other choice did you leave her?

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basil67 Established Member

basil67

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Well then just about every single attractive young female I've met must be immature, self serving and harmful to self and others. Or, maybe it's just normal to explore your options/play the field if you're not in a committed relationship.

 

The original comment we are discussing is about intentionally making people jealous. We're not talking about exploring options and playing the field.

 

One can certainly explore options and play the field if it's done without deliberate manipulation in terms of inducing jealousy. And with good manners.

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shesabeauty Member

shesabeauty

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You titled your post "Did I Go Too Far Making a Girl Jealous?" The wording shows absolute intent on your part.

 

In your first post you wrote

 

>>She seemed happy to see me but I'm used to women throwing themselves at me and she wasn't acting like that. I just assumed she wasn't interested so I just felt free to explore the club on my own a bit.<<

 

Nothing there about her wanting to talk and dance with other guys. You stated that she wasn't "throwing herself" at you so you chose to go grinding with other women....and continued to do so even when she tried to get you back. After you abandoned her, she did dance with some other guys...but short of going home, what other choice did you leave her?

 

lol, no that is not what I said. Five women approached me at the club and I did grind with one of them and danced with several others. But I did not approach any of them, all of the women approached me.

 

I did not abandon her. We were dancing briefly as a group but she wandered off just far enough to indicate she wanted her own space. So I gave it to her.

 

What was I to do? Reject all of these women left and right to stick around with a female friend who is showing lukewarm interest at best?

HiCrunchy Established Member

HiCrunchy

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lol, no that is not what I said. Five women approached me at the club and I did grind with one of them and danced with several others. But I did not approach any of them, all of the women approached me.

 

I did not abandon her. We were dancing briefly as a group but she wandered off just far enough to indicate she wanted her own space. So I gave it to her.

 

What was I to do? Reject all of these women left and right to stick around with a female friend who is showing lukewarm interest at best?

 

Yikes.

 

No. You should have shown interest in her. Maybe she is shy.

Not go off and play games by trying to make her jealous.

Just thinking about being in her shoes pisses me off.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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How old are you and this young lady?

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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At any rate, you weren't interested enough in her to pursue so the whole thread is really a moot point.

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hippychick3 Established Member

hippychick3

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I sure hope she has moved on. She deserves way better.

Tristian Established Member

Tristian

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Since some folks are having a tough time keeping the conversation civil I'm going to shut this one down.

 

 

 

Thanks to those that tried to reply within guidelines.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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