Grey40 Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 Interesting thing that I haven’t experienced yet. Great first date with good chemistry and a lot of touching, making out and etc. set up a second date (unfortunately during the day that was the only time we could carve out) and though she enthusiastically agreed when we greeted and when we ended the date she gave me the cheek both times when I went in for the kiss. I assume I should take this as a lack of interest? Pissible freindzoned? Or reading too much into it? Perhaps I should have been slightly more persistent and just tried to go for the kiss more, or escalate some more physical interaction?
lurker74 Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 Option D...not enough information. But it's not looking great. Maybe you said something wrong or had BO during the second date but not even a peck on the lips is not a great sign. De-escalation never is. It also doesn't help having a day-date so early. They are decidedly less romantic. But if you like her, ask her out another time and you will know. 2
carhill Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 Ask her on another date. Accept the answer. IME, when a woman's emotions shift to another male's attention, presuming everything else in their life is OK, that changes their desires and tone. This can occur if she's married/LTR to someone else, or multi-dating, or has met but not dated a BBD. Forex, I recall one MW giving me the cheek when we normally had marked kissing upon greeting but it turned out she was pissed at her H. Any contact with her since the second date?
Author Grey40 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Posted November 2, 2018 Option D...not enough information. But it's not looking great. Maybe you said something wrong or had BO during the second date but not even a peck on the lips is not a great sign. De-escalation never is. It also doesn't help having a day-date so early. They are decidedly less romantic. But if you like her, ask her out another time and you will know. Def no BO. We met at a Starbucks and yeah I know it’s def not romantic or ideal, but I’ve had 2nd and 3rd dates like that before and those ended up in couple month long relationships. She came straight from work (both of us knew that would be the case) and she works at a gym so was like in gym clothes and not really looking her best for a date so maybe she just felt insecure. But yeah I know it’s not good. Hence why I’m posting. Just wondered if anyone else had had this happen and not to overlook it
carhill Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 I'm looking at a MW right now who just came from the gym and her clothes are fine for a casual date. Throw on a casual top cover and it could even be more 'formal'. No biggie. If she want's to see you, she'll work it out. If not, you're toast. I usually continue on and do what I want to do, and dated more than one woman and the most promising rise to the top. Nothing bad about them, just humans.
olivetree Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 Assuming this is online dating, I don't think you should expect there to be a kiss on a first date. It's a first meet. I do not liked to be kissed so soon in such circumstances. Some build up is good. Second, it was a coffee date. A kiss wouldn't feel right, especially given the above.
carhill Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 I would generally agree but the OP mentioned 'making out' on the first date. Making out usually means, to me anyway, deep kissing and sexual touching but not necessarily involving genitals. Perhaps OP can clarify. That usually occurs when the couple is sufficiently attracted to each other sexually. Kissing is part of sexual attraction as well as a general expression of intimacy in non-sexual relationships. My general observation has been that relationships proceed/intensify or end. They don't go backwards but can plateau as intimacy proceeds. I'm working on one right now and will examine how it goes. Let's just say the consummation was decidedly not a kiss on the cheek. 2
alphamale Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 dude, you said you've already "made out" with her. what does this mean. does it mean you've French kissed her? you'll find out more on date #3 1
Logo Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Where did you go on the first date when you made out? Was it a more romantic setting? 1
Andy_K Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 If you already made out on the first date, getting the cheek on date #2 would normally mean either she's lost interest significantly, or she's a little uncomfortable with PDA. The latter would be unlikely if things got pretty heavy on date 1, even if it was in the evening somewhere.
sabaton Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Interesting thing that I haven’t experienced yet. Great first date with good chemistry and a lot of touching, making out and etc. set up a second date (unfortunately during the day that was the only time we could carve out) and though she enthusiastically agreed when we greeted and when we ended the date she gave me the cheek both times when I went in for the kiss. I assume I should take this as a lack of interest? Pissible freindzoned? Or reading too much into it? Perhaps I should have been slightly more persistent and just tried to go for the kiss more, or escalate some more physical interaction? I'm confused. She touches you and makes out with you on the first date, but on the second date she's suddenly pulling back and not even kissing you, only letting you kiss her cheek? Seems to me that she lost interest but she still enjoys going out on dates with you. She's probably either with another guy or has her sights on another dude.
sabaton Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 I would generally agree but the OP mentioned 'making out' on the first date. Making out usually means, to me anyway, deep kissing and sexual touching but not necessarily involving genitals. Perhaps OP can clarify. That usually occurs when the couple is sufficiently attracted to each other sexually. Kissing is part of sexual attraction as well as a general expression of intimacy in non-sexual relationships. My general observation has been that relationships proceed/intensify or end. They don't go backwards but can plateau as intimacy proceeds. I'm working on one right now and will examine how it goes. Let's just say the consummation was decidedly not a kiss on the cheek. Or she could just be playing hard to get to increase his interest in her. Like some strange, mentally insane belief that by pulling away after giving the guy a taste of the good stuff, he's going to want it more, and by making it harder for him to get it - he's going to want it even more and put more work into her/emotional investement. I had a second date that was like that. First date we made out hard. Groping, shoulder bitting etc. But on the second date she was playfully getting away from me everytime I'd go for a kiss. So I got up, left her at where we were and I went home, and I never contacted her again. Life is too short to play games. OP, dump this tease and move on to someone who is really into you. 1
Malin889 Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Or she could just be playing hard to get to increase his interest in her. Like some strange, mentally insane belief that by pulling away after giving the guy a taste of the good stuff, he's going to want it more, and by making it harder for him to get it - he's going to want it even more and put more work into her/emotional investement. I had a second date that was like that. First date we made out hard. Groping, shoulder bitting etc. But on the second date she was playfully getting away from me everytime I'd go for a kiss. So I got up, left her at where we were and I went home, and I never contacted her again. Life is too short to play games. OP, dump this tease and move on to someone who is really into you. Maybe she decided she wants to take it slow after the first date. Is that ok if she takes it slow?? They’ve only met twice!
sabaton Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Maybe she decided she wants to take it slow after the first date. Is that ok if she takes it slow?? They’ve only met twice! haha, my parents had sex on the first date and they're still married to each other 40 years after that day. If she ain't at the very least kissing him on the lips on the second date -after they were making out on the first date - to me that smells like she's either playing mind games, playing hard to get, or she isn't all that attracted to him, or she's met someone else that she really wants instead, but she still enjoys going on dates with OP. If I was OP I'd just dump her and move on.
smackie9 Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Let me guess...alcohol was involved on the first date?
sabaton Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Let me guess...alcohol was involved on the first date? hahaha, probably. Alcohol consumption increases subjective sexual desire, arousal, and pleasure for many women, although it lowers physiological arousal. Despite the general belief that alcohol disinhibits female sexual behaviors, alcohol leads to changes in sexual behavior only for a minority of women. Expectancies about the effects of alcohol on sexual behavior may be important mediators of the alcohol-sexual behavior linkage. There also is a relationship between overall alcohol consumption and risky sexual behavior for women, https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7624547 On her second date, she was probably sober, and remembered that she was supposed to act demure to make the guy want her more
alphamale Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 haha, my parents had sex on the first date is that when you were conceived??
PRW Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 It also doesn't help having a day-date so early. They are decidedly less romantic. Yes, that is a big one. 1
PRW Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 Or she could just be playing hard to get to increase his interest in her. Like some strange, mentally insane belief that by pulling away after giving the guy a taste of the good stuff, he's going to want it more That could very well be. There's a lot of "dating Coaches for Women" that push that crap. I did a rant thread on that a while back. It is a bunch of manipulation BS. The real purpose of pulling back is when one of the two over-persues and has to pull back a bit to get things back in balance. But it works on the weak needy clingy guys,...and those "coaches" use that "success" to validate what they are pushing rather than tell the women to avoid the weak needy clingy guys in the first place.
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