Opinions on call back

[Andrew312]

Well I posted a message last Thursday and just wanted a little more advice.

 

In short I got a girls number, we went out twice over a few weeks and by all accounts had a great time, went out for dinner both times, spent the day together, chatted for hours etc, kissed. Said I would call her with my new number during the week. Called and left a couple of messages and a couple of texts over a few days but nothing. That ended on Thursday. I havent called her since and have heard nothing. I am just finding it all very strange as it has never really happened before. I dont think the two messages I left were particulary scary, just what my new number was, that I had a great time on Sunday and give me a call when you get the chance as Id love to see you again. On Sunday she even said she would like to see me again etc.

 

My question to girls I guess is it common place if after a couple of dates with a guy that treats you really well, that if you just arent into him, would you not even let him know youre not interested if he has been calling. I guess if you dont return calls it shows that, but I still think it would be kind of respectful if a guy has been nothing but a gentleman to at least let him know through your own mouth whats happening. I am really torn right now. Its taking all my efforts not to call her as it has been three days since I last tried to initiate contact but it is so hard. I feel like leaving a message (not a nasty one) but one saying I think considering the way I treated her I at least deserve to know whats going. The sad thing is even if we hadn't worked out I would have loved to have remained friends as we have the same interests and enjoy playing the same sports etc. I guess I am just new to dating though I have had a lot of GFs, most of them however have evolved from friendships in the workplace or through contacts with friends. For the record I am 25 and she is 20.

 

Any advice is appreciated as always.

 

Andrew

[Outcast]

I've seen a ton of posts from women who have been asked by guys to call back (and who would, out of common courtesy, usually return someone's call) refuse to call a man even despite the man's request.

 

So maybe she's one of those women who won't call someone she's dated. It wouldn't hurt to try again, but don't leave any messages. Just wait until she actually answers.

[mixwell]

I would suggest whatever you do don't call and leave a message asking why she hasn't called you back.. You will seem very desperate and needy.. I wouldn't call anymore. If she wanted to talk to you, she has your number.. All you are doing when you keep calling her is seeming needy..

 

Just let her call you when she does.. If she doesn't call you then that should tell you something right there... You know actions do speak louder than words. Something to think about also is that you might have seemed a little needy when you went out with her which could have turned her off.

 

I think what you should do is get out there and start looking for other girls. Don't waste all your time and energy on just one girl. Trust me I have finally caught on to how this whole dating thing works and there were a lot of mistakes I myself made. take care,

 

Peace

[kitkat826]

I agree with Mixwell: get out and keep your options open. Don't call any more, two messages is enough. Unfortunately I would guess that she lost interest and this is her way of showing it.

[Andrew312]

I got ya. Well it's Monday now and I havent called her since Thursday. My roommates think I should just waive my pride and call her again but even if she answers I am not sure what I can really say without sounding angry and or desperate. I have no problem with her not being into me, hey it happens in this game, but I thought over the course of spending two long dates with her and treating her very well I would at least have gained enough respect for a phone call or something letting me know the situation.

[Nyasa]

Hey Andrew, she's 20 right, well that says enough! Not that all 20 yr old girls are inconsiderate and immature, but they are on a completley different level than say a 25 yr old woman. Speaking from experience when you are that age you don't really think seriuosly about a few dates and she might think she has no reason to call you back, that the not replying is pretty much making it VERY CLEAR that she is not that interested. I must say with honesty, that sometimes calling and texting that often can be a BIG turn off, even if she was interested, that might of made her second guess that. We like to be called etc., but if you don't give us a chance to get back to you and you keep contacting us, she is going to think BIG RED FLAG, he is going to be too much for me right now! Sad thing is when us gals our in a relationship we want you to call a lot, be a gentleman, pay us a lot of attention, but during the intial courtship, I think we like to sort of have the mystery and the waiting, the holding of our breath etc. Not to say you should ever be a cocky a**h*** and wait days and days, but you know after like the second time that she has not replyed I would of left it alone. If she felt the same I think she would of called you back, so that sucks, but chalk it up to experiece and leave her be, you might be surprised she might then miss the attention adn start calling, but do you want someone who plays games?

Trust that there are LOTS of girls out there who LOVE a gentleman and even if there is not a chemistry for her, she will call you back and let you know what's up and if she doesn't do not take it personally, just means SHE has bad manners and you are better off.

Good luck!

[kat217]

the ball is in her court -- she has your digits & WILL call back IF she's interested....wouldn't you, if you're interested in someone?