Author Malin889 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Posted November 2, 2018 Some people think that texting is counted as dating and I believe this is the case. it's possible he's had a few online relationships and this is all normal for him. And yes he is getting way too ahead of himself....it would be best to mention this. That makes sense Smackie... I’ve had a couple people just text and text and it never went anywhere. One guy a couple years ago kept texting me good morning everyday for like 2 weeks, but never took it past that. I finally just blocked his number.
Author Malin889 Posted November 2, 2018 Author Posted November 2, 2018 To add: Some guys are stupid that way to start in with the pet names and crap, thinking this is the way to show interest, when the best way to show interest is to have to gonads to ask for a bloody date. Yes exactly! 1
some_username1 Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 But I’m on a dating site so I would assume if he’s texting me there’s no need to distinguish between friendship or more... there’s no need to say buddy, mate, or beautiful because I assume he’s looking to date me if we’re on a “dating” site, Right? How many thteads do you think there are on here from people who met on a dating site where the woman is saying words to the effect of "I don't think he fancies me" ? 1
ElKay Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 One guy from OLD once kept bringing compliments pretty heavily, including saying I'm a beautiful flower and whatnot... I had to tell him to stop since it didn't sound sincere when it was in every other paragraph in our convos. This was also even before the first date. I would just ignore that awkward text phrasing for now and bring it up only if he keeps being too pushy with the compliments.
Sarah_Smiles Posted November 2, 2018 Posted November 2, 2018 The morning beautiful could just be his friendly banter he uses with women he likes, one of my exes used to call everyone beautiful, no matter age, or if he was into them and I felt like it wasn't anything special when he then would tell me it too, I thought but everyone gets that birdcall, lol. If you do not like it, you are allowed to tell him, so and why.
Author Malin889 Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 I agree with a lot that’s already been said. It feels stunting sometimes when there’s a disconnect between the level or type of communication, and the true level of emotional intimacy. Why waste all that banter on texting when you could have a rousing first date? What will there be left to talk about if you already know everything about each other over text? I agree! He texted me yesterday, "Hi". So I said Hi back, and he just asked how I was doing, and I said I was getting ready for work. And that was the end of the conversation. There is still no asking me out. I don't get it. How much texting can someone do with someone they don't know? I've found this is very common with online dating. (or maybe we should call it online texting.) 1
smackie9 Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 I think texting over a long period of time, makes them think of who you are from their imagination which manifests itself in you being not what they thought if you manage to get to a first date.
Simple Logic Posted November 4, 2018 Posted November 4, 2018 Kinda empty compliment, but not offensive.
Author Malin889 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 I think texting over a long period of time, makes them think of who you are from their imagination which manifests itself in you being not what they thought if you manage to get to a first date. That's very true, like for now during the "texting" phase, it's all a fantasy and everything is all good.
Mrs._December Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Thanks for your replies, you’re all correct! I never understand the long texting back and forth before asking someone out on a date... and it seems to be very common these days, lol! I just texted back and said good morning, I was busy at work on a project, don’t want you think I’m ignoring you, and he wrote back — “OMG I'm sorry. I'll leave you alone. Text me when you can. I'm sorry.“ Let me guess - you two have YET to actually talk on the phone like human beings. This texting nonsense is so cowardly. Only 15 or 20 years ago, guys actually had to pick up the phone and call a woman and interact with her on a personal level. If he doesn't have the guts to call you like a real human being, then I wouldn't waste my time typing generic messages to this new pen pal of yours. How about you two actually TALK to see if you're compatible? 1
Zippy2000 Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 I am continuing on down the road of online dating: I was talking to a new guy the last two days, we were getting along great, and then he asked for my number, so I gave it to him and he texted me, we were getting along fine. Then we were talking about our houses and how stuff always gets broken, etc. Then he makes a joke about inviting himself over to fix something, which I felt uncomfortable with, so I didn't say anything back. Then he said a bit later, "I was only joking", so then I responded, "no problem, you're ok". Then he continues to text, he's asking me how my day was, but I was getting really busy at work, so I was just telling him how I was in the middle of a project. I'm new at my job, and I don't want to sit there texting all day, you know? So then he says,"ok, I won't bug you". I didn't think he was bugging me, but I just really needed to get my work done. Anyway, he texts me this morning "good morning beautiful" -- I knew he would text me this, I don't know why. I like when people text me good morning, but I get uncomfortable being called beautiful by someone I don't know. I know, the guys on here may say I'm being picky... But I do want to continue to talk to this guy, so how can I say in a nice way that I'm just not comfortable being called beautiful? I would like to be called beautiful, but maybe like down the road after we've been dating awhile. Does that make sense? He`s a little forward but maybe you should communicate what you like and what you don't like. People will just carry on the way they are until its communicated. Hopefully he will respect your boundaries and realise you weren't into his flirty jokes about coming over to fix thing and about be called beautiful.
kendahke Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 (edited) I agree! He texted me yesterday, "Hi". So I said Hi back, and he just asked how I was doing, and I said I was getting ready for work. And that was the end of the conversation. There is still no asking me out. I don't get it. How much texting can someone do with someone they don't know? I've found this is very common with online dating. (or maybe we should call it online texting.) Unless you're only going to date on the computer and never meet, meet in person after one week of communication. That way, you will not spend weeks/months constructing someone in your imagination who does not exist and cannot ever meet your expectations. You two have let this texting before meeting mess go on for far too long. Now, you're both invested in what you've imagined of the other. This is all in each of your heads with each of you having your own version to it instead of it being an actual, in person, face to face interaction where you would see the intent of the words in each other's mannerisms, as opposed to texting where one tends to apply their own projection to what is said. Since texting is as far as you two have agreed to take this, he thinks he's way further along in his head than he really is because of what you've both been saying to each other in your conversations up to this point--he's charting his course based upon what you're saying. So he says "good morning, beautiful" because perhaps the "you" he's built in his mind over all this time texting has a lovely demeanor and he thinks she is friendly and welcoming and to him, that's beautiful, hence the pet name. No, he doesn't know you to say that--but what he knows *OF* you because you two haven't met (and you've both spent weeks building what you've built of the other) is what he used to build that comment on. I think you need to dial the "high dudgeon" back and little and cut him some slack---and make a date to meet him even if it's you who broaches the subject first. Clearly, he isn't old fashioned and if you can't stand the glacial pace, own your voice and speak up for yourself. Edited November 5, 2018 by kendahke
Author Malin889 Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 Unless you're only going to date on the computer and never meet, meet in person after one week of communication. That way, you will not spend weeks/months constructing someone in your imagination who does not exist and cannot ever meet your expectations. You two have let this texting before meeting mess go on for far too long. Now, you're both invested in what you've imagined of the other. This is all in each of your heads with each of you having your own version to it instead of it being an actual, in person, face to face interaction where you would see the intent of the words in each other's mannerisms, as opposed to texting where one tends to apply their own projection to what is said. Since texting is as far as you two have agreed to take this, he thinks he's way further along in his head than he really is because of what you've both been saying to each other in your conversations up to this point--he's charting his course based upon what you're saying. So he says "good morning, beautiful" because perhaps the "you" he's built in his mind over all this time texting has a lovely demeanor and he thinks she is friendly and welcoming and to him, that's beautiful, hence the pet name. No, he doesn't know you to say that--but what he knows *OF* you because you two haven't met (and you've both spent weeks building what you've built of the other) is what he used to build that comment on. I think you need to dial the "high dudgeon" back and little and cut him some slack---and make a date to meet him even if it's you who broaches the subject first. Clearly, he isn't old fashioned and if you can't stand the glacial pace, own your voice and speak up for yourself. It's actually been only a few days, less than a week in fact, not weeks. :-) (Maybe you're confusing mine with a different post?) I would never let texting and not meeting go on for that long! To be honest, his not-being-aggressive/texting-not-taking-action completely turned me off. I'm not planning on replying to him anymore. I've done the online thing on and off for awhile, and it works for some people, but for me, it doesn't work and I find it unnatural. (But that doesn't mean other people should stop it!) I'm starting a movement to meet people at bars again, lol!
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