How to move on from ex gf after 2 months?

October 5, 2018

I am 25, my ex gf dumped me 35 days ago and gave me some bs reason of her having family problems and her feeling the realtionship was not gonna workout coz of the religion but like everything was fine and i am sure that i made no mistake or something. Now maybe i think she lined up someone, lost attraction coz i was too good for her or she got bored with me.

i started dating her around january and it moved to a serious relationship and then 3 months before she went abroad for 6 months internship and i moved to another city for my Post Grad studies and we planned after her coming back we would stay together in my city.It was my first serious relationship i had but i gave my best to it and followed the work of Corey Wayne so the quality of the relationship was quite deep and wonderful.

Before her dumping me she went pulled away and got distant but i stayed and let have have space coz she asked for it and was always with this attitude that we would this out together as we are a team. Unfortunately after 1 week of space she started taking me for granted, for which i first tried to empathize with her but then i reached my limits and i expressed the way she was treating me and i would like to tackle this problem but she asked that we should have a long talk. And i knew it for the next morning getting prepared for the breakup video skype session. Long story short, i followed corey wayne's advice and expressed that i wanted to work things out but if she wanted the end and i respected her feelings. She offered friendship but i replied that i don't wanted that coz i love you and give me a call if you change your mind and ended things without a lot of drama.

First i thought it was some magic thing that would make my miss me and come back but now i am feeling the change in mindset. My core remains intact but its fighting to the thought of losing her, panicking, fear, need for closure and what not.After the breakup i had my exams which i failed pretty badly and still have a chance to comeback in the final exam but with low grades and i also joined krav maga(btw its awesome coz they put me though hell of an exercise and i love it).

I have my birthday coming on 27th October and before we met in person physically she gave me a sealed gift card and took a promise that i open it on my birthday. Now i think thats the only shot i've left for her to contact me coz its around the 60 day mark of NC.I was thinking of breaking NC with the 30 day rule thing and was gonna contact my ex but my core and a chat with a friend for suggestion before doing this stopped me.

I still love her unconditionally but i don't wan't to be treated as she treated me before. What should i do???

Edited November 2, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraphs and merge threads

October 5, 2018

You handled the break up well, establishing what is acceptable to you & refusing to accept friendship when you want more.

NC is forever. It's a healing tool, a way for you to get over the other person because you are not constantly picking at the scab & debasing yourself chasing after somebody who already rejected you. It is not a manipulation tool designed to make them miss you so they come back.

Once she broke things off you were no longer obligated to honor any promises. I would not torture yourself by waiting until your birthday to open her gift or thinking she's going to reach out. She's not. Send the gift back or throw it out. You can open 1st to see if it's worth keeping but don't pin your hopes of reconciliation on it. That particular birthday wish is not coming through.

You have only known her since January. You immediately had logistical problems -- her internship & you moving. The distance aspects are only part of your problems. Religion is usually an insurmountable thing to overcome. If she's not on-board (& she's not) don't even bother trying. Her faith is important to her & if you don't share it that is a deal breaker for her. If you are willing to convert you can try telling her that but given that you have only known her for a short time that seems unwise.

Let this go. Find a local girl to date. Be happy

October 5, 2018

i would like to have more answers to this pls......... I am dying from the inside

October 5, 2018

You may be asking her to give what's not within her. Not everyone loves the same way.

As for NC, I always lose interest if an ex goes NC for a long time. Just speaking personally, this is how it goes for me: First 2 weeks I want him to contact me and reconcile, 4 weeks into NC I still wouldn't mind hearing from him but more out of curiosity. If NC goes on over a month, past 6 weeks, I dread having contact, because by that time I understand why we're not right for each other and I dread getting a message from him because I don't want to have to tell him no and hurt him.

At least in my case, if an ex goes NC, it only makes me miss him for a week or two and after that it helps me forget him. I think this process happens for everyone it's just that the timeline for transition from missing to forgetting is different for each person (and situation). Corey Wayne can't know the number of weeks for each person out there.

October 5, 2018

You may be asking her to give what's not within her. Not everyone loves the same way.
As for NC, I always lose interest if an ex goes NC for a long time. Just speaking personally, this is how it goes for me: First 2 weeks I want him to contact me and reconcile, 4 weeks into NC I still wouldn't mind hearing from him but more out of curiosity. If NC goes on over a month, past 6 weeks, I dread having contact, because by that time I understand why we're not right for each other and I dread getting a message from him because I don't want to have to tell him no and hurt him.
At least in my case, if an ex goes NC, it only makes me miss him for a week or two and after that it helps me forget him. I think this process happens for everyone it's just that the timeline for transition from missing to forgetting is different for each person (and situation). Corey Wayne can't know the number of weeks for each person out there.

Corey Wayne does not teach a number of weeks to break no contact.

His advice is “Lay out your terms (reconciliation and nothing less), then walk away and never look back.... FOREVER.

Your pursuit of this woman is over for the rest of your life.

If she contacts you, setup a date for her to come to your place. Hang out, have fun, and hook up. It’s her job (as the dumper) to win you back and the only effort you will make is that to go from wherever you are in your house to the front door to let her in”

OP - You come across as arrogant by saying you might have been too good for her and you did nothing wrong. You may not have done anything wrong but you’re not better than anyone and if you felt that it surely came out in your behavior.

If she wants to get back she will get back in touch with you. If she does, invite her over to your place.

October 5, 2018

Thankyou donnivain for showing me the healing path.

Gretchen12 i want to ask you, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

I only wanted to be treated well by my partner as i loved her unconditionally and gave it my best of efforts..........i never bend so easily but i did bend and break for her and for the relationship, now i am still happy for whatever she may be doing but i just don't wanna fall anymore.The relationship was the warrior, i was the sword and she was the shield.The shield fell and never rose but the sword didn't give up and fought till his last breath.Now injured fatally by countless attacks i can't fight anymore coz the shield never rose again.

October 5, 2018

You may be asking her to give what's not within her. Not everyone loves the same way.
As for NC, I always lose interest if an ex goes NC for a long time. Just speaking personally, this is how it goes for me: First 2 weeks I want him to contact me and reconcile, 4 weeks into NC I still wouldn't mind hearing from him but more out of curiosity. If NC goes on over a month, past 6 weeks, I dread having contact, because by that time I understand why we're not right for each other and I dread getting a message from him because I don't want to have to tell him no and hurt him.
At least in my case, if an ex goes NC, it only makes me miss him for a week or two and after that it helps me forget him. I think this process happens for everyone it's just that the timeline for transition from missing to forgetting is different for each person (and situation). Corey Wayne can't know the number of weeks for each person out there.

Are you saying this from a dumpers perspective? Like if you dump someone you want them to contact you in 2 weeks?

October 5, 2018

yes i sound arrogant as i fail to convey the message, i meant that despite by best efforts she gave up and didn't even communicate what the problem was

Now i think - she fell out of love(attraction for me fell), she found someone else and lined him up for my replacement or parents and religion came before me and she choose the before me(i accepted her with her faith and was firm that in future i don't want her to change that under any circumstances without her complete free will and we will make it work)

October 5, 2018

Are you saying this from a dumpers perspective? Like if you dump someone you want them to contact you in 2 weeks?

I’m curious as well. I can’t imagine dating someone who used a breakup as a tool.

October 5, 2018

Corey Wayne does not teach a number of weeks to break no contact.

His advice is “Lay out your terms (reconciliation and nothing less), then walk away and never look back.... FOREVER.

Your pursuit of this woman is over for the rest of your life.

If she contacts you, setup a date for her to come to your place. Hang out, have fun, and hook up. It’s her job (as the dumper) to win you back and the only effort you will make is that to go from wherever you are in your house to the front door to let her in”

OP - You come across as arrogant by saying you might have been too good for her and you did nothing wrong. You may not have done anything wrong but you’re not better than anyone and if you felt that it surely came out in your behavior.

If she wants to get back she will get back in touch with you. If she does, invite her over to your place.

hey sevencity do you mean me using breakup as a tool or my ex using breakup as a tool?

October 5, 2018

Are you saying this from a dumpers perspective? Like if you dump someone you want them to contact you in 2 weeks?

Yes, unless I dumped him because he beat me, but that's never happened. It's difficult for everyone to adjust to suddenly not having someone in their life, that includes the dumper. The first two weeks is the most uncertain, you wonder if you did the right thing (I mean me).

October 5, 2018

I’m curious as well. I can’t imagine dating someone who used a breakup as a tool.

No I meant initially the dumpee might make me doubt my decision, talk me out of it.

October 5, 2018

hey gretchen she dumped me and i left saying give me a call if you change your mind....................this means i kept the door open for reconcilation if she wanted it. Can you pls reply like i really need honest answer

October 5, 2018

Gretchen12 i want to ask you, what would you do if you were in my shoes?

I have been in your shoes before. Actually we have the same birthday so if you believe in astrology... Anyway, I think you should find peace in that you gave it your best shot and you have no regrets. All my exs contacted me later but nothing ever came of it (nothing long term, some stayed friends) so it kind of didn't matter. When we met up or talked, was just an interesting distraction.

I think it doesn't matter much what you do now. You can contact her, or not. I wouldn't expect the great love of your life to miraculously rise out of these ashes. So in the grand scheme of things, it just doesn't matter if you see each other again.

October 5, 2018

i would appreciate more suggestions for my topic and situation coz the more thoughts would contribute to a better decision for me to act

October 5, 2018

Ok. You may be able to reconcile with her. Has she contacted you at all during this no contact period?

If she contacts you, respond. Politely. Not "hard to get." Not angry. Not blaming. Not begging to get back together. Don't stay NC. But don't send her long texts. Give back to her what she gives you.

If she has not contacted you at all, you could send her a short text. Something along the lines of: "Hey, I just saw [something you were both into].. Reminded me of you. Hope you're doing well." That's it.

Or you can wait and see if she reaches out. My ex reached out to me with what is called "breadcrumb" texts. I almost didn't text back because of our NC guide. I am so glad I DID respond. My ex and I are back together.

Basically, what you need to do now, is make sure your no contact period is ACTIVE, with you working on communication skills. Figure out things you could improve on that may have pushed her away (authenticity is big - were you walking on eggshells ever?, empathy, presence, respect, NOT playing games or hard to get...).

You need to show her your changes from the inside.

I recommend: watch Clay Andrews on you tube. Find out about the 5 stages of a break up - soo accurate. Read "Nonviolent Communication" by Rosenberg. And read this: https://exboyfriendinsight.com/what-it-really-takes-to-get-ex-boyfriend-back/

-Someone who has successfully reconciled with an ex, and happy

GOOD LUCK. Don't let the fear of rejection stop you!! Remember: what do you really have to lose?

Edited October 5, 2018 by ThreeRainbows

October 6, 2018

She is out of the country till december. If i shoot a text now and even if she agrees to meet up, it'll be a skype video call and how the **** can i attract her on a skype call. Should i wait till december or like till my birthday or like do it now around the 45 day mark?

October 6, 2018

She dumped you, you don't know why, so there is nothing to do but your damnedest to move on.

What to do with the birthday envelope is something I'm not sure about, unfortunately it only serves to hurt you more whether you return it or open it. The best would probably be to throw it away and never look at it, but that's a tough one.

It's really hard, we've pretty much all been there, but stay completely NC and when you think about her think of the negative things, most importantly the fact that she dumped you.

I'm not a fan of what I know of Corey Wayne's work just because I hate game playing and some of what he writes comes off that way to me. But since you are a fan, then follow his advice, which I'm sure does not include making contact with her when SHE dumped YOU.

October 6, 2018

She is out of the country till december. If i shoot a text now and even if she agrees to meet up, it'll be a skype video call and how the **** can i attract her on a skype call. Should i wait till december or like till my birthday or like do it now around the 45 day mark?

See if you can start a light texting relationship, so that when she's in town, you'll be ready to meet up.

Don't suggest meeting up right now. Just send her a light text. No deep emotional stuff right now. Then work up to skyping. Use skyping like a phone call. Just to touch base and maybe light flirting. Then work up to meeting up.

You can let her suggest, or you can, but don't push.

Biggest point: don't worry about "attracting" her. Just chill. Relax and enjoy her company!

October 7, 2018

i am confused, the two comments are totally opposite and i am not sure which to follow

October 7, 2018

i am confused, the two comments are totally opposite and i am not sure which to follow

The best advice is to do nothing. Do not continue to engage anyone who has dumped you. 30 days, 90 days or forever until they have made a sincere effort to be with you. I mean hat in hands (metaphorically) and following through with consistent behavior to back it up.

In the meantime, ignore, ignore and ignore. By ignoring them, it reflects the behavior of someone who is equipped with a healthy self esteem.

Edited October 7, 2018 by oasis

October 8, 2018

And days have gone by post breakup, i am having this gut feeling that she had her ex back in picture or there was another guy lined that she may be in a relationship with now. It hurts when you get lied and don't get a proper closure to move on while your present thoughts are only haunted by her. I am pretty sure she is not coming back as i was the strength of the relationship while she was always fragile and scared of the future, hence i know she will never contact me again ever even if she wants to

October 9, 2018

It's really up to you. What do you want? The best advice for what path you should follow is simply: the one you resonate with.

For me, I got a lot of prideful answers of "NC forever!" etc. Didn't seem right. So I took a different path, and am back with my ex. We both grew in our time apart, and are happy. But it was very hard, and scary to do, and it's definitely not for everyone.

Good luck to you whatever you choose to do!

Edited October 9, 2018 by ThreeRainbows

October 11, 2018

Thankyou everyone for your reply. They were so valueable and helpful for. As for me i am going to focus on myself and improve myself for a while till my birthday, When the birthday comes i will decide either to contact her or to burn the gifts and memories and bury the hachet:(

October 24, 2018

well my birthday is near and so is the decision. I am really in a calm state now like maybe i have moved on but i don't know coz this was my first relationship and breakup. I have reached a point where is doesn't matter if she comes back or not but i have healed and gained the strength to live on

Sign In

How to move on from ex gf after 2 months?

Recommended Posts

virajdx

d0nnivain

virajdx

Gretchen12

SevenCity

virajdx

an0nym0us123

virajdx

SevenCity

virajdx

Gretchen12

Gretchen12

virajdx

Gretchen12

virajdx

ThreeRainbows

virajdx

FMW

ThreeRainbows

virajdx

oasis

virajdx

ThreeRainbows

virajdx

virajdx

What's New

My Activity Streams

More...