sutsie Posted November 1, 2018 Posted November 1, 2018 Walked by the ex today at uni coming into one of the buildings. few people around us, but I've never seen a human being duck for cover so fast in my life. Meanwhile I'm feeling much better on week 6. Back to eating normally (considering a 1000 calorie deficit for fitness purposes), joined a circuit gym with boxing that I'm doing 3 times a week, still running 3-4 times a week, more motivated in my job hunting than ever, schoolwork is better than its been in years, 25 pounds lighter and getting my abs back. Feels fantastic guys. Hang in there and improve every aspect of your life and you're going to be just fine. Keep going everybody.
HazeMan Posted November 3, 2018 Posted November 3, 2018 (edited) Thanks. Its been 3 weeks after the final breakup. You can find the full story on my (https://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/668519-what-wrong-her-23m-21f) but I like this post. I've been doing the same thing. I started working out again, I'm reconnecting with friends I lost touch with during the relationship and I'm job hunting again. I'm about to get a new job. There are still days I feel sad, heartbroken and miss her terribly. I've ran into her friends and brother and I've heard tidbits about her but I'm at the point now where I don't want to know anymore. I don't want her back. She's upset and playing the victim because I wanted NC but when you're dumped you have to think of yourself first. It sounds like she is lonely and angry (broke NC to pick a fight) but trying to fill the void and I'm not gonna lie, I still care about her well being but she wanted this. Infact the only difficult thing to deal with now is my libido which has always been high. Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of guy to have sex outside a relationship and I don't plan to enter a relationship for at least a year or two. There is always hope. Focus on yourself and improve your life. In my personal experience, they always want to be in your life again eventually. This is especially true when you did nothing wrong and didn't abuse them in anyway.))))))) Edited November 3, 2018 by HazeMan
Author sutsie Posted November 4, 2018 Author Posted November 4, 2018 That's awesome man. I'm the exact same way. I've only slept with two girls (both long term relationships lasting 3 years give or take a month or so). I'm a big sex is for love kinda guy. Sounds like you're doing fantastic and the fact she broke NC to pick a fight shows she's uncomfortable with the decision and you have the upper hand on the whole thing...best thing is that when you get the upper hand on a dumper thats usually the point you're at where you wouldn't take them back anyway. I'm at that point myself. I have my confidence almost fully back and I'm looking better than I have in years. People are amazed at my results in less than 6 weeks. Keep on your grind buddy and put these dumpers in their place which is somewhere not involved with us.
HazeMan Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 That's awesome man. I'm the exact same way. I've only slept with two girls (both long term relationships lasting 3 years give or take a month or so). I'm a big sex is for love kinda guy. Sounds like you're doing fantastic and the fact she broke NC to pick a fight shows she's uncomfortable with the decision and you have the upper hand on the whole thing...best thing is that when you get the upper hand on a dumper thats usually the point you're at where you wouldn't take them back anyway. I'm at that point myself. I have my confidence almost fully back and I'm looking better than I have in years. People are amazed at my results in less than 6 weeks. Keep on your grind buddy and put these dumpers in their place which is somewhere not involved with us. Thanks man. I've decided to focus on myself and forget about girls for now. I don't plan to chase girls anymore. I realise that I put them on a pedestal. At least the ones I had feelings for. I put my ex on a pedestal as well. It was so bad I neglected myself and stunted my own growth as a person in favor of her and her needs. No more of that nonsense. The only thing I'm worried about now is if this will make me too disillusioned to fall in love again. I feel a fundamental trust has been broken since she claimed to love me and cherish me and she didn't resent my predicament only to turn around and go back on everything. How can I believe a woman ever again? I still have a letter she wrote to me in our 5th month together. It is jarring tat she went from feeling like that to getting bored in the span of a year just because I was broke and we couldn't do new stuff regularly. I feel like I will always have a seed of doubt when it comes to a woman's feelings for me. She may feel strongly but how can I trust she won't get bored or just lose attraction and romantic feelings down the line? Hell I eveb suspect my ex may have someone waiting in line. There was this guy she met 3 months before the end and her behaviour was a sketchy then but when I asked if she was leaving for someone else she got mad and said no. Unfortunately I can't believe anything that comes out of her mouth since she has lied to me in the past about things similar to this. At the end of the day bro, I didn't lose her. She lost me. I cab actually realize my potential now without worrying about someone feeling overshadowed. As sad as I feel, I can't help but think that perhaps I dodged a huge bullet. Once I move on, she'll be dead to me and I will never care about her again. She doesn't deserve my affection. p.s. The libido thing is a pain in the ass though.
HazeMan Posted November 7, 2018 Posted November 7, 2018 (edited) That's awesome man. I'm the exact same way. I've only slept with two girls (both long term relationships lasting 3 years give or take a month or so). I'm a big sex is for love kinda guy. Sounds like you're doing fantastic and the fact she broke NC to pick a fight shows she's uncomfortable with the decision and you have the upper hand on the whole thing...best thing is that when you get the upper hand on a dumper thats usually the point you're at where you wouldn't take them back anyway. I'm at that point myself. I have my confidence almost fully back and I'm looking better than I have in years. People are amazed at my results in less than 6 weeks. Keep on your grind buddy and put these dumpers in their place which is somewhere not involved with us. She really wasn't comfortable with my decision of NC. In fact before I did that, she was perfectly fine and dandy living her life and having fun. Now somehow I'm the bad guy. Also, the nonsense about needing time cuz i "hurt" her. What does that even mean? Like my female friend said, "She knows she doesn't love you, what does she need time for? To realise she wants to pity date you?" I got more self respect and dignity than that. I got the feeling she is unsure of her decision and wanted me around as a safety net In case she doesn't meet a guy that's decent or in case she gets used and dumped. I walked and she hates me for that. Gonna piss her off even more when I wish her mum merry Christmas. Her mum is a sweet woman and I don't plan on ditching her. I never forget those who helped me in my time of need. Edited November 7, 2018 by HazeMan
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