Chavrine Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 I am a new member, and in need of some help in finding my clairty!!.....I have been with my current partner for 11yrs on and off. To cut a long story short, met at 14yrs old, went out for 7 years, in which time he went off with several other girls, we split...got back together, split...got back together etc etc...I never dated anyone else in the 7 years. Anyway the final crunch came when he got another woman pregnant, and then 5 weeks later left me for ANOTHER woman. We split, I dated someone else..so did he for 2 yrs. Anyway 2 yrs ago we got back together, and moved back in with each other 10 months later (bought a new home) we have been living together 1 yr. The problem is I feel like it has ran its course, I feel like he's my Brother/Best Friend, not really my partner. Our sex life is zero (x3 times a year!), and to be fair that is on both parts, he very rarely wants it with me, and I never get turned on by him. Honestly, its been like that ever since we got back together!. The problem I am faced with is....1. I have never dumped anyone before and don't really want to hurt him.....2.What if I make the biggest mistake ever??......3.SHould I except that after 11yrs this is what happens to everyone?... We live together fairly well, don't really argue etc..the trouble is I am a strong personality and he isn't therefore I ALWAYS call the shots....which becomes boring......there is no 'pizazz' no 'spark' I want to feel excitied again, I want to feel sexy etc etc etc.... some guidance please!!!...... xxxxx
Taby Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Hi. I am new at LS and this is my first time providing an advice... I might not be the best advice giver... But if I tried putting myself in your situation and here is what I would suggest: I would first figure out if you are still in love with him. You haven't mentioned this... Although you did say he felt like a brother or a best friend to you... if your feelings are along the same line, then it looks like you love him, but aren't in love with him... If that is the case, then you need to be fair to him and let him know how you feel.... I know it's hard, but in end if you dont' love him, you are hurting him and yourself more each day you stay with him.... Good luck and I'll keep checking your post to see how things go and what other people suggest....
mazza32cott Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Hi It's a hard one. I felt the same about my ex husband. We broke up 3 years ago. It's tough out there but I have never looked back. I thought we were good friends but when it came to the split of the assets of which he got 50% and I have the kids, he was still not happy and there has been hatred ever since. Talk to your man. Maybe he feels the same way. If it's love and feeling sexy what you want, well, you already know you wont find it where you are. You only live once... Good luck. Maz
Author Chavrine Posted September 11, 2005 Author Posted September 11, 2005 ...glad to hear a reply from someone...thanks guys. I have took what you have said on board....your right I have made my decision. Thanks alot.xxx
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