Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 Ok a few minutes after posting this he messaged me with: "Heyyy! Have fun with your event today!" (He's referring to my last Instagram post that he liked).
LoverOfDance Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 If the potential victim in a scenario of possible rape doesn't think it was rape then is it rape? Hmm... Anyways, May, like i said before, i don't think he is looking for anything more than casual but go ahead and entertain him. Nothing necessarily wrong with that. What irks me is when women come here complaining about men who are clearly not on the same page with them. You are grown. You have two options: entertain him or don't. You worrying and wishing is not going to make him suddenly want something more serious. He hasn't messaged you in a week. Now he messages you with no clear intent to converse and doesn't even ask how you are. Being away is not an excuse to ignore someone you really like and intend to date. May, he is NOT serious. If you are going to entertain him, please make sure to prepare yourself for something casual so that you don't spend your days worrying and examining his actions.
Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 If the potential victim in a scenario of possible rape doesn't think it was rape then is it rape? Hmm... Anyways, May, like i said before, i don't think he is looking for anything more than casual but go ahead and entertain him. Nothing necessarily wrong with that. What irks me is when women come here complaining about men who are clearly not on the same page with them. You are grown. You have two options: entertain him or don't. You worrying and wishing is not going to make him suddenly want something more serious. He hasn't messaged you in a week. Now he messages you with no clear intent to converse and doesn't even ask how you are. Being away is not an excuse to ignore someone you really like and intend to date. May, he is NOT serious. If you are going to entertain him, please make sure to prepare yourself for something casual so that you don't spend your days worrying and examining his actions. Well I'm not gonna entertain him, I mean I haven't initiated anything. Definitely wasn't complaining about him, I was just confused about the whole situation and asking for advice here because I'm clueless atm. But yeah you have a point because he indeed hasn't asked how I'm doing.
Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 What exactly are you confused about? A part of me says he's definitely not interested in me and that I should run away. But then a part of me says that I'm really overreacting and over analysing. Why? Because he's not ghosting or orbiting me. He initiates contact sometimes, and even after having sex already. All my male friends say that if they're not interested in a woman after having slept with her, they don't even reply to the messages that they get from women. And it's just really really hard to understand what is it exactly that he wants if he's already gotten it? I sound messed up (I know!!) but I'm just very confused about this. I've never had a long relationship (10 months longest) because I don't know how to deal with intimacy, bonding and my own emotions. In the past I've been in almost the exact situation before. Hooking up with someone on the 1st date (no sex, but we made out and kissed a lot). He didn't send me messages at all after our date so I assumed he was just not into me. And then I ran into him 2 months later and his first reaction was a bit angry, asking: "Why have you ghosted me? Why didn't you message me?" I talked with his friends about it and that guy was used to a lot of attention from women. So he thought I ghosted him while I thought he ghosted me... *sigh* sorry for all of this. I'm just a bit tired of myself.
stillafool Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Honey, there's nothing to be confused about. He's lukewarm on you. If they are not actually making plans to see you in person there interest level is low. Random texts mean absolutely nothing. When they show low interest you forget about them and put them on the back burner for later then start dating other guys. Stop getting stuck on one. Are you dating others yet and if not why not? His keeping in touch is to possibly have sex again when he get's back around to you.
stillafool Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 In the past I've been in almost the exact situation before. Hooking up with someone on the 1st date (no sex, but we made out and kissed a lot). He didn't send me messages at all after our date so I assumed he was just not into me. And then I ran into him 2 months later and his first reaction was a bit angry, asking: "Why have you ghosted me? Why didn't you message me?" I talked with his friends about it and that guy was used to a lot of attention from women. So he thought I ghosted him while I thought he ghosted me... *sigh* sorry for all of this. I'm just a bit tired of myself. He only said the above to get ahead of you because he knows he was the one who did the ghosting. It worked because now you're confused. This guy is a player. 1
Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 If they are not actually making plans to see you in person there interest level is low. Random texts mean absolutely nothing... His keeping in touch is to possibly have sex again when he get's back around to you. Ok I will keep that in mind, thanks :-) Well not really... Last week I would go on 5 dates but I just cancelled all of them because in my head I was too much focussed on this guy and not feeling the need to see someone else yet. And some of the guys were a bit clingy as well (sending me messages with lots of ????!!!! and CAPS LOCKS)
elaine567 Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 He only said the above to get ahead of you because he knows he was the one who did the ghosting. It worked because now you're confused. This guy is a player. And a dodgy one at that. Stay far away.
LoverOfDance Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Op, you're the one allowing this. Don't waste time on confusing people. Confusing people drain your energy. Maybe you're not getting my point. This man IS interested. That's why he keeps in contact. He's just not interested in the same way that you are. From his actions, he wants something more casual and from what you've written, you seem to want more emotional investment i.e. something more serious. As for the man who ghosted you after your make out session, all i can do is laugh. Not at you, but at his BS excuse. He fed you that BS and you believed him. He ghosted you because he is used to girls chasing him and you didn't, lol. Such bullsh*t. HE DID NOT REACH OUT BECAUSE HE WAS NOT INTERESTED. Please Op, stop letting men steal away your peace of mind. It is so unfair to you.
stillafool Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Also, check your ego. Do you want him because he doesn't want you? That could be the reason why you are having a hard time moving on because you feel rejected.
Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 Op, you're the one allowing this. Don't waste time on confusing people. Confusing people drain your energy. Maybe you're not getting my point. This man IS interested. That's why he keeps in contact. He's just not interested in the same way that you are. From his actions, he wants something more casual and from what you've written, you seem to want more emotional investment i.e. something more serious. As for the man who ghosted you after your make out session, all i can do is laugh. Not at you, but at his BS excuse. He fed you that BS and you believed him. He ghosted you because he is used to girls chasing him and you didn't, lol. Such bullsh*t. HE DID NOT REACH OUT BECAUSE HE WAS NOT INTERESTED. Please Op, stop letting men steal away your peace of mind. It is so unfair to you. Hahaaha fair enough about the 2nd guy OK I am trying to not think about him, will try really really hard to not reach out anymore. Thank you for your support, I really needed it. All my friends keep telling I should just be patient with him but he acts so different compared to the 5 other guys who’ve asked me out last week. Although I turned down on all of them, some are still reaching out asking concrete plans.
Author lovelymay Posted November 5, 2018 Author Posted November 5, 2018 Also, check your ego. Do you want him because he doesn't want you? That could be the reason why you are having a hard time moving on because you feel rejected. hmmm maybe it is my ego. I haven’t been in a situation like this before. It was either I broke up or they broke up with me, by clearly just saying things need to end, but I haven’t experienced ghosting/orbiting in such a way like this before. That really hurts and I don’t understand why people do that. I always tell guys honestly if I’m not interested. Even if they don’t like to hear it, it’s still better than ghosting.
olivetree Posted November 5, 2018 Posted November 5, 2018 Friends always tell you what you want to hear. They want to make you feel awesome so that you will like them and won't be mad at them or see them as negative. We strangers have nothing to lose by telling it to you straight. If you want casual vacation sex when this guy is in town, go for it, but don't expect it to turn into some crazy romance that carries on when you move country. And not all guys are like your guy friends who ignore girls after they have sex if they aren't into them. A lot are open to repeat performances / easy sex.
Author lovelymay Posted November 6, 2018 Author Posted November 6, 2018 Yes and you are all right! He’s just stringing me along... After the message that I received from him I waited 5 hours to reply. Guess what? He hasn’t even read it!!! hHaha I knew it and you guys already told me. Sigh! I feel like auch a fool now, this is the exact reason why I was sonafraso afraid to text him in the first place.
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